From the Social Diary of Michelle Muscat, Queen of Malta

Published: February 15, 2016 at 7:00pm

I know that my public adores me (I make them proud), so I have decided to brighten up the lives of my subjects with a social diary, which I will write when my very busy schedule allows me to. This is not easy because I have to burn up 400 euros of diesel every month to meet my quota, but I will try. My Spouse, the Prime Minister of Malta, has many servants and one of them – his name is Gland Bedingfield – has very cleverly arranged for my social diary, when I find the time to write it, to be published in the Enemy Press. This will allow me to reach the very few people who do not yet adore me.

Today I will write about how I graced the Casino Malta with my presence together with my Spouse, the Prime Minister of Malta.

This is my famous smile. You will see it in many photographs in the national and international press (I am famous and popular). I have been using this smile for so long now that it has become quite easy. I can hold it for longer than I can hold my breath, for instance.

This is my famous smile. You will see it in many photographs in the national and international press (I am famous and popular). I have been using this smile for so long now that it has become quite easy. I can hold it for longer than I can hold my breath, for instance.

Here I am still holding my famous smile, but you can tell that I can't hold it for much longer. When my Spouse, the Prime Minister, begins talking to rich and important men, he doesn't stop. I am happy they are not women, because if they were I would think he was flirting.

Here I am still holding my famous smile, but you can tell that I can’t hold it for much longer. When my Spouse, the Prime Minister, begins talking to rich and important men, he doesn’t stop. I am happy they are not women, because if they were I would think he was flirting.

My Spouse, the Prime Minister of Malta, is still talking and posing, so here you will see that I have decided to talk to Kevin Decesare of Casino Malta. I put my hand on his waist in a caring fashion. Some people said that's a bit too intimate for the Spouse of a Prime Minister and a businessman, but it is these little touches which help my public to adore me.

My Spouse, the Prime Minister of Malta, is still talking and posing, so here you will see that I have decided to talk to Kevin Decesare of Casino Malta. I put my hand on his waist in a caring fashion. Some people said that’s a bit too intimate for the Spouse of a Prime Minister and a businessman, but it is these little touches which help my public to adore me.

My Spouse tried everything before he became the Prime Minister of Malta - hair transplant, scalp lift - but nothing worked. Now that he is the Prime Minister of Malta he can't disappear for two months while I tell people that he fractured his leg dancing at the August Moon Ball. The patch is too big to cover with spray, so I told him, Joseph, we will have to live with it. Never mind because the money and the treatment are really worth it.

My Spouse tried everything before he became the Prime Minister of Malta – hair transplant, scalp lift – but nothing worked. Now that he is the Prime Minister of Malta he can’t disappear for two months while I tell people that he fractured his leg dancing at the August Moon Ball. The patch is too big to cover with spray, so I told him, Joseph, we will have to live with it. Never mind because the money and the treatment are really worth it.

At these events for the high society, they always want to take a picture with the most important people in the room. I graciously oblige. My midnight blue lace dress with embroidered chiffon sleeves is by Fersani of Malta. I am not wearing my Sunita Mukhi bag with my name on it in Swarovski crystals because people have been laughing about it. Unlike me, they don't understand fashion.

At these events for the high society, they always want to take a picture with the most important people in the room. I graciously oblige. My midnight blue lace dress with embroidered chiffon sleeves is by Fersani of Malta. I am not wearing my Sunita Mukhi bag with my name on it in Swarovski crystals because people have been laughing about it. Unlike me, they don’t understand fashion.

In this photo I am not feeling so enthusiastic. People are looking at the show and not at me. My Spouse, the Prime Minister of Malta, never looks at me anyway, but when I go out among my public, who adore me, I expect them to give me their full attention.

In this photo I am not feeling so enthusiastic. People are looking at the show and not at me. My Spouse, the Prime Minister of Malta, never looks at me anyway, but when I go out among my public, who adore me, I expect them to give me their full attention.

My Spouse, the Prime Minister of Malta - there are days when I wish I hadn't married him, but then I tell myself, Michelle, it was wertit.

My Spouse, the Prime Minister of Malta – there are days when I wish I hadn’t married him, but then I tell myself, Michelle, it was wertit.