Department of Information press release confirms that Sai Mizzi has left her husband

This is the Department of Information’s statement today on the subject of the Minister for Health and Energy’s business affairs/trust/wife.

It is so obvious that Konrad Mizzi wrote the thing himself and that nobody checked it – not even his personal communications coordinator Lindsey Gambin or the people at the Department of Information. It’s written in the third person – Dr Mizzi this and Konrad Mizzi that – and then you get this:

As already stated, with regards to reports that there were attempts by the service provider to open a bank account, this was part of the service that was offered to me. Nevertheless, as a state of fact confirmed by the reports, a bank account was never opened. This confirms my version of events that there are no funds and bank accounts held by the Trust and related company to date.

But the more interesting bit in this sea of lies is the confirmation that Mrs Mizzi isn’t coming back to Malta – which means that just as I wrote in that article for which he sued me, she didn’t leave Malta in the summer of 2013 because she got a job in China, but the other way round – she was given a “job” in China because she left Malta and left him.

Now that the fictitious “job” has had to go – perhaps Mrs Mizzi will be making more money selling Maltese passports in the private sector than she is making as Malta’s fictitious consul in Shanghai – the fiction that she hasn’t left him will have to go with it. I quote Konrad Mizzi himself, from his press statement in the third person, in which he also talks about his wife in management-speak:

Dr Mizzi’s family is international and spans Malta to London to China. Moreover the contract of engagement of Dr Mizzi’s wife expires soon and Mrs Mizzi will be transitioning back into the private sector pursuing activities in various fields not associated to Malta.

More than “Mrs Mizzi will be transitioning back into the private sector”, I absolutely loved “Dr Mizzi’s family is international and spans Malta to London to China”. I mean, what an ass. A Maltese man marries a Chinese woman, they set up home in London, move to Malta, she leaves him and takes the children to China, he stays in Malta, and suddenly he’s got “an international family”. I must confess that I wept with laughter. And this is an excuse for what, exactly? A company in Panama and a trust in New Zealand, with a bank account in Dubai/Panama/the Caribbean/wherever will have him? He needs a bank account in Malta, she needs one in China and they might still have one in Britain from when they lived there. That’s all they need, legitimately.

If this criminally idiotic man describes his estranged wife and two children as an “international family” because they live in China and he lives in Malta, then what am I supposed to say about mine? Over the last decade I have had children living in Liverpool, Toronto, London, Berlin, Denmark, Amsterdam, California, Costa Rica, Greece, Rome, Bruges, Brussels, Tel Aviv and New Delhi. But I don’t have any secret offshore companies or trusts in New Zealand, and my bank account is in Malta.

I’m beginning to think that this “international family” refrain is not so much an excuse as some kind of fantasy he has that he’s some kind of multi-millionaire jet-setting executive with wives and homes all over the world, rather than a mundane corporate drone who married a fellow student, brought her back to a grotty flat in Paola, did some more corporate droning at Enemalta, then entered the marvellous world of Maltese politics, whereupon his wife left him, grabbing the loot before slamming the door.