Chris Cardona and the Immaculate Conception

The Minister for the Economy rolled out of bed yesterday in whatever borrowed flat he’s living in with whatever borrowed woman he’s sleeping with right now and, giving the holiday drinks and bars a bit of a rest for a couple of hours, had his chauffeur drive him over to church in Cospicua, for mass to celebrate the feast of the Immaculate Conception.

He was there as acting Prime Minister, the real Prime Minister having been busy with Martin Schulz, president of the European Parliament – so busy that he didn’t even have time to shave before leaving the house. And the deputy Prime Minister, Louis Grech, was probably resting as usual.

When Acting Prime Minister Chris rocked up to the church, the Prime Minister’s communications aide, Glenn Bedingfield, was there waiting for him, to escort him to a seat of honour right before the altar. (God loves people like Christian Cardona; he considers them a challenge.)

On the same day last year, Bedingfield did all the honours as church usher for VIPs, dominating the space. But this year, the archpriest wasn’t having any of that, and got a woman from the pastoral council to do it instead. Bedingfield, despite his decidedly unchristian temperament and his hostility towards the most charming (and sharpest) archbishop Malta has ever had, is devotedly committed to the Immaculate Conception. As they say, any virgin will do when you can’t get anyone else.

The feast is a favourite with politicians, and those in the congregation included the Opposition leader, Simon Busuttil, the deputy Opposition leader, Beppe Fenech Adami, former prime minister Lawrence Gonzi, Nationalist MPs Carm Mifsud Bonnici and Stephen Spiteri, former head of state Ugo Mifsud Bonnici, acting Prime Minister Chris Cardona, Transport Minister Joe Mizzi, Civil Liberties Minister Helena Dalli, the parliamentary secretary for sports, Chris Agius, and the parliamentary secretary for local councils, Stefan Buontempo. The Mifsud Bonnicis are from that town and live up the road.

“Make it quick. I’ve got to leave in a minute to be acting prime minister at the Immaculate Conception. But I’ll be back.”