His proof is a minibar bill. Chris Cardona can’t be serious.

Oblivious to the fall-out from his Dubai minibar scandal, the Minister for the Economy and deputy leader of the Labour Party told the press yesterday that the proof of where he was on that fateful Monday night in Germany is his word and that of his policy officer – worth nothing, quite frankly – and, wait for it, a minibar bill.

A minibar bill? He cannot possibly be serious. Apart from the fact that he is now plagued with contemptuous jokes about his minibar habits, every fool who has ever been to a hotel knows that minibar bills are paid when you check out at the end of your stay. You get a list which shows what you consumed and the day you consumed it, you are asked to confirm this, and you will get an itemised bill only if you specify that you want one. Otherwise, you get a grand total.

Minibar bills do not give you the time of day on which you consumed your beer, but only the day itself. In case there is anybody here for whom hotels are a completely alien experience, which I doubt, once a day, either in the morning or in the evening, a member of staff goes into your room (knocking first if you’re there), checks the minibar, takes note of what’s missing, and restocks it. You could have drunk your beer at 1am, 2pm, 6am, 7pm, or midnight, and there is no way the staff are going to know unless they have an illegal spy camera in your bedroom ceiling.