I’ve had a call from Michael Farrugia’s office to ask me whether I “need anything”

The 1950s southern Italian patronage and corruption is now reaching sickening levels. Having been overtaken by events, I didn’t write about this immediately it happened. But a few days ago, on my home telephone which always startles me when it rings because nobody ever uses it anymore, I received a call from a woman who was barely articulate in her mother tongue, saying she was ringing from “the office of Minister Michael Farrugia”.

Are you ringing from his government office or from his campaign constituency office, I asked. She didn’t know how to reply, because apparently she wasn’t coached in what to say when challenged on this less than fine point.

She insisted she was ringing from “the Minister’s office”. Oh, really, I asked, and what does the Minister want with me? Because when I ring ministers, they never take my calls so I’m a little surprised to find one ringing me at home.

All that was lost on her as she ploughed through the script. “We’re phoning to see if you need anything.”

Like what, I asked. Like a favour, for example? Like a job with the government, or skipping the hospital waiting list, or a licence for a shop? A government minister shouldn’t be phoning people asking them if they want things. Are you phoning people all over Malta or are you just phoning people who can vote for him? You’re so interested in your constituents beyond their vote that you don’t even know who you rang.

The line went dead.

Michael Farrugia celebrating the 2013 Labour victory at Medasia in Gzira with Jeffrey Pullicino Orlando