How we know that Nikita is an Elve: it's hysterical – read this and weep with laughter

Published: August 13, 2011 at 3:03pm

Alex Saliba, the rank idiot at Forum Zaghzagh Laburisti, who gave the game away

THE ELVES IN SANT’S GROTTO
NOEL GRIMA

The Malta Independent, 21 October 2007

On Sunday 7 October, Daphne Caruana Galizia wrote in her Sunday article:

“Since the debate on Bondiplus between the Prime Minister and the future prime minister, there has been a spate of letters to the editors of all the English-language newspapers.

These letters are interesting, not so much because of their content, but because of what they imply: that somewhere in the bowels of the Labour Party headquarters there are those who still think of the ‘electorate’ as a giant tabula rasa on which they can imprint any thought they choose.

The letters are carried over different names – the sort of names you would expect ‘ordinary citizens’ to have, ones which have never appeared in the correspondence columns before, those columns being dominated by the same letter-writers, the same people, and the same names.

Yet these particular letters appear to have been written by the same hand, with the same usage, the same erroneous grammar, and the same preference for stiff and archaic construction (‘Indian English’).

More fascinatingly still, they follow precisely the same format: how detached Gonzi is from the people; how badly Gonzi came across; how put out he was by Sant’s incisive rhetoric; how impressively Sant performed, and this despite Bondi’s probing questions (or in the case of one letter, mysteriously, ‘Bondi’s features’); how smart Sant was to get one over Gonzi about VAT on education; how clever he was to mention an atlas.

After reading them in quick succession, my head filled with images of a little Labour elf hard at work churning out letters-to-the-editor in Sant’s grotto, while another little elf hit the telephones finding people willing to put their names to multiple variations on the same theme.

Let’s leave aside this fascinating imagery for a while, and consider the implications.

One possible implication is that an inept spin doctor in Sant’s grotto thinks that letters to the editor written by anonymous persons – and by anonymous I mean those without a public personality or clout in the social group they mean to influence – can shape the thoughts of others.

Another implication is that the elves in Sant’s grotto believe that those who actually watched the show, and who saw it for what it was, will change their minds after reading a letter from somebody they don’t know from Adam, telling them how wonderful Sant was and how Gonzi looked like a fool.”

Most people reading Daphne’s article must have thought she had let her imagination run riot – the image of busy industrious elves hard at work in some dimly lit grotto must have made many to smile and disregard the whole thing.

Instead, however, it turns out to be very true, as a series of e-mails that went astray show.

By 9.28am that very same morning, Alexander Saliba had sent a circular e-mail to those he thought were fellow elves in Sant’s grotto, little realising that among the recipients he had somehow also included Stephen Calleja, the editor of The Malta Independent.

Mr Saliba told his colleagues to read Daphne’s article to see “how effective our articles have been” and how “we are riling the Nationalists”.

He ended: “Proud to be one of those elves in Sant’s Grotto.”

Nikki Alamango was the first one to reply: “She seems to be very upset. Keep it up guys so that we get the desired effect.”

A few minutes later Aaron Farrugia, who seems to be the leader of the group in the Labour Youth organisation, sent another collective e-mail in which he made fun of Daphne: “Daphne illum mikkina inkazzata ghax ahna niktbu fil-gazzetti. Ghandha ragun mikkina ghax hi biss ghandha dritt divin tikteb… jekk jista jkun fuq il-parrokki”.

Mr Farrugia then issued a series of orders to various members of the group telling them what work they had to do. For all the cloak and dagger atmospherics, the duties he set them seem quite humdrum and low key.

Mr Farrugia also decided to call each member of the group ‘elve’: “Memo to elves in Sant’s grotto… Elve Alex… and Elve Josef… start working with Malcolm on the next wine party. Elve Andre, Elve Therese and Elve Bjorn A start working on IUSY events in Malta. Elve Daniel together with Elve Nikita and Elve Therese work on the renewable energy conference….”

Signing as Elve Aar, he ended: “Keep it up elves: Proud to be elves on Labour’s side …”.

In mid-afternoon, Rene Monsigneur somewhat cryptically wrote that the Christmas decorations effect had affected Daphne. “We are hitting her where it hurts, just because a couple of elves from the Centru Nazzjonali Laburista have attracted her attention.”

He too ended his message with words of encouragement: “Keep it up, elves. Christmas will soon be here.”

By 7.33pm, a euphoric Andre Borg was writing to his colleagues: “Daphne’s article today has confirmed our message is being persistent and continuous. I have no problem in being called an elf, and in fact there is even a photo of us on the Internet: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=335282&o=all&op=1&view=all&subj=4200857357&aid=-1&id= 689809041&oid=4200857357”.

Since then this page has been removed.

But by 12.15am, a certain realism had set in. Daniel wrote: “Between ourselves, I do not regret being called an elf, but I would not like to confirm to her we are elves. Let us continue with our work. She does not exist.”

He immediately got a reply from Therese Camilleri: “I agree with Daniel; we should not reply to that article. Rather, no one from our network should write on this subject, because this is precisely her intention: to unveil who our writers are, so that people start thinking the writer is not neutral and editors will start being sceptical of using our letters. Besides, even PN has its own elves. So guys and girls just be proud that we are being noticed… but let’s just proceed as we were doing. Do not give this comment any importance…”.

The new realism was effective.

By 8.30 the next morning, confirming his leadership of the group, Aaron Farrugia agreed with Daniel and informed everyone he had removed the photo from Facebook. “That’s what she wants – to expose us. No way. Let us continue working without throwing away our weapon.”

——-

Update to the present: Aaron Farrugia is, to quote his Facebook description, “Chairperson Fondazzjoni IDEAT, Malta`s Progressive think tank”.




40 Comments Comment

  1. Daphne Caruana Galizia says:

    And just in case you have nothing better to do this Saturday afternoon, here’s the original newspaper column:

    http://www.independent.com.mt/news.asp?newsitemid=58646

  2. P Borg says:

    For those elves out there who have still not realised, the singular of elves is elf! Ara biex iridu jiggvernaw!

    Just needed Theresa Camilleri to tell me that certain The Times writers are not neutral.

  3. N Agius says:

    I can’t stop laughing! Kemm huma tan-nejk, madonna.

    • Ronnie the Bear says:

      The Famous Five Take On Daphne and the World with A Cunning Plan – like Enid Blyton and Ben Elton after a knock to the head.

  4. ciccio2011 says:

    It’s a great piece of factual journalism right down to the minute.

    This is the party that wants to govern Malta from 2013.

    Kijp it uppp, Alex.

    • Ronnie the Bear says:

      Check out the photographs of his bedroom that Alex Saliba himself posted on Facebook (if he hasn’t listened to sensible advice since and removed them): very, very neat and decorated with soft toys and other inappropriate ornaments.It looks like the lair of a bachelor accountant with a special interest in children.

  5. Kenneth Cassar says:

    This was the best part (the words in brackets are mine):

    “…to unveil who our writers are, so that people start thinking the writer is not neutral (read: people discover the writer is not actually neutral like we want them to believe, but a Labour campaigner) and editors will start being sceptical of using our letters”

    Apparently, dishonesty runs in their veins.

  6. Lorna saliba says:

    The fact that Nikita has been so publicly exposed is so humiliating for somebody who pretends to be such an intellectual and who writes about economics and finance as if it was her native language.

    For somebody who aspires to be a prominent politician, this is a massive setback and while Mark Camilleri has politley asked for her resignation, I am certain so will the party she represents.

  7. the Phoenix says:

    It would be laughable. However these elves have morphed into vicious people behind the ‘taste your medicine’ website. I have no doubt that this is now a PL leadership-sanctioned website with an agenda to take down anyone prominent in the PN and its fringes.

    This is but a foretaste of things to come.

    • La Redoute says:

      Poison dwarves.

      • Ronnie the Bear says:

        I’m not quite sure that Kurt Farrugia is exactly a dwarf. It’s true that his head is disproportionately large and his body disproportionately small, but his facial features appear to be normal.

        Byon Jo Zammit, too, is exceedingly tiny, but unlike Kurt his head and limbs are in proportion to his torso. I would say more of an elf/ve than a dwarf/ve.

      • @ Ronnie

        Major morphological error re elf anatomy

        Elves are the tallest and most beautiful anthropomorphic inhabitants of Middle earth.

        Ok … now you can go ahead and call me a LOTR fan. I’m proud that I can tell Elrond from Elessar, so sue me.

  8. NGT says:

    I have always voted Labour but I will never vote for them again unless elve Aaron admits to his games and RESIGNS!!!!!!

    • Ronnie the Bear says:

      Let’s see whether Joe Muscat is going to call for Nakita Zammit Alamango’s resignation.

      Now we know why Cyrus thought he had so much in common with her and nothing in common with his former colleagues at the PN.

  9. davidg says:

    Daphne, you stand to be corrected. At this rate Labour need a landfill site and not a skip. Forget about a recycling plant as that will not work, though Muscat is trying really hard.

  10. Citrus Angerer says:

    You have to be of a certain disposition to reach adulthood and be attracted to Labour. I really cannot put my feelings into words but it is a very frightening prospect that these same people will be shaping our children’s future in a couple of years.

    • yor/malta says:

      Take a look at what the infant Nazi party got up to in the 1920s and drawing parallels is not too difficult .

    • Ronnie the Bear says:

      Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that. Anybody of that generation who is worth keeping has left Malta already, or planning to do so.

      That is the island’s tragedy: that we are left with dross like Nakita and Alex Saliba and their elfin friends. Our generation was generation X. The next generation is Generation Imbarazz because the non-imbarrazz have done a runner.

  11. A. Charles says:

    Aaron Farrugia is, to quote his Facebook description, “Chairperson Fondazzjoni IDEAT, Malta`s Progressive think tank”.

    Does chairperson mean that Aaron is of unknown sex?

    • Ronnie the Bear says:

      Mr Charles, with those people, it is not their sex that is ambiguous, but their sexual inclinations. The women all appear to be lesbians and the men use so much Vaseline (on their brows, eyelashes and hair, I must add) that one is left uncertain as to whether they have any interest at all in women. If Joseph Muscat really does have a skip, that skip is sitting in the biggest closet known to man.

  12. Mark-Anthony Fenech says:

    So Elve is the singular form of Elves?

    [Daphne – Yes, according to Aaron Farrugia, Chairperson of Fondazzjoni Ideat, the Labour Party’s progressive think-tank.]

  13. Jozef says:

    This is so pathetic.

    Msieken.

    An organised gang of pathological liars messing around with the democratic life of a state.

    Do these people realise the vicious cycle they’re in?

    And then they wonder why they’re not elected.

    Fenech Adami was right: Fejnhom il-laburisti?

  14. Harry Purdie says:

    Good point, Citrus. They could be very dangerous, if they weren’t so very stupid.

  15. Bob says:

    “Pia Micallef: I don’t want to put the limelight on myself at all, but I don’t agree with you Mark. Nikita has done a lot of work for the Labour Party, and I believe that her values are the kind of values the Labour Party needs.”

    The elves are out to defend the rotten egg.

  16. David Ellul says:

    I’m a Labour supporter but I feel that I cannot associate myself with these kind of people who plagiarise articles. She must do the honourable thing and resign, now.

    • Ronnie the Bear says:

      Come on, David, be reasonable. If she did the dishonourable thing and plagiarised, then surely you can’t expect her to do the honourable thing and resign?

      The fascinating thing is that she seems to KNOW that the boss, Muscat, won’t ask her to.

      And she’s not going to feel pressured into leaving Labour under a cloud, either, as her mate Cyrus did with the PN.

      Standards are so low with Labour.

  17. La Redoute says:

    From Aaron Farrugia’s FB photo album:

    On your marks. Get Set. Go. Il-fenek, fuq kliem il-gurnalista tan-NET telaq jigri ghand l-avukat ghas-separazzjoni biex jiskattaw l-4 snin. Run rabbit…..run :)

    And one of his favourite quotations from his duttrina classes:

    We share the pain of others, and a sense that we believe in something bigger than ourselves—that we cannot be truly content while others face despair, cannot be completely at ease while others live in fear, cannot be satisfied while others are in sorrow. We all feel, regardless of the source of our philosophy, the same deep moral sense that each of us is our brother and sisters’ keeper… [W]e cannot and will not pass by on the other side when people are suffering and when we have it within our power to help
    The Christian Doctrine

  18. Matthew Vella says:

    Oy vey……

  19. Marku says:

    I love that Aaron Farrugia had no clue that the singular is “elf” not “elve”.

  20. Aaron changed his “Political Views” on his Facebook Page from Liberal to Moderate since I pointed out to him that no politician represents or speaks true Liberalism in Malta to which he answered “I stand guilty and proud of it”

  21. denis says:

    I simply cannot understand how timesofmalta.com allows these idiots to invade its blogs with cheap propaganda, 1970s style.

  22. dery says:

    ‘Leaf’ (as the green things on a tree) is singular, ‘leaves’ is plural. There is some confusion because we can use words like ‘She leafs through the newspaper pages’.

    In the case of ‘elves’, that is the plural. The singular is ‘elf’.

    Sorry for being pedantic.

    [Daphne – Not just pedantic, but none too sharp, either. Do you honestly believe that I don’t know that elf is the singular of elves? Get a grip, and then read the whole thing again.]

  23. dery says:

    Is this for real? Come on admit it, you’ve made it up to amuse us! I can’t believe that these things really happen and these sort of messages are exchanged over email. And of all people Stephen Calleja? He must be one of the Malta Independent’s most PN leaning people.

    [Daphne – All true. How could I have made up something under somebody else’s name? And why shouldn’t you believe that sort of thing is exchanged over email, when much worse things are exposed on Facebook walls? Don’t be an idiot.]

    • dery says:

      in the space of one week I can’t remember how many things you’ve called me. Didn’t you see my tongue stuck in my cheek when i joked ‘ you must have made it up”. ?

      [Daphne – No, I can’t. You’re an odd fish.]

      Also please forgive me if I sometimes comment without reading carefully what you have wriiten so it is only now that I see that you were using the word elve as used by them.

      [Daphne – Common sense should have told you that, dery. What would you say the odds are that I don’t know the singular of elves – a million to one? A billion to one?]

      Daphne, for heaven’s sake don’t keep thinking that whenever I say something that tries to contradict what you have written I am doing it on any personal level! Get a grip on yourself. If for you this is a pastime, as you have told us on many occasions, can you imagine what it is for me?

      [Daphne – For someone who isn’t taking things to a personal level, you are extraordinarily personal and quite frankly, it gets on my nerves. I am not the subject of this website. You can go elsewhere for that.]

  24. Pat Zahra says:

    ‘Mr Saliba told his colleagues to read Daphne’s article to see “how effective our articles have been” and how “we are riling the Nationalists”.’

    I thought the whole point of the scheme was to win uncertain Nationalists over to their side by virtue of their faultless logic couched in golden prose. How would riling them up achieve anything?

    And then there’s that telling Freudian slip that they think of their future victory at the polls as ‘Christmas will soon be here.’

    Elves my foot! Ignorant, self-serving Orcs rather, with nary two IQ points to rub between them and, mayhap, start a spark.

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