Anything but glamorous
I'm competing for the title of Miss Glamorous Globe
I’ve spent the last two hours glued to the television, enthralled by what must have been one of the tackiest shows on earth, and ringing round friends and family to make sure they watched it too.
I thought I was watching Super One, but no, it was NET. They must be desperate or something, selling prime-time Saturday night to such a bunch of tacky amateurs. ‘Glamorous Entertainment presents Mr, Miss and Ms Glamorous Globe’, the last of the lot being pronounced ‘missis’. “That must be the older chicks,” I told my sister as we hooted the pulses away. And boy, was I right – not just older chicks, but big ones, too.
Short legs, big hips, thumping thighs, angry faces, hair you could clean a bottle with, tattoos, the gait of a baby elephant, the most unbelievably cheap clothes (and I don’t mean money) – all are forgiven if you’re just going about your business. We’ve all got our problems. But why would anyone who weighs a good 14 stone and wears a size 20 at least put herself forward for a beauty pageant? More to the point – why is she accepted? Oh yes, for the money.
And those midget’s legs – six-inch heels and they’re still not a normal length. And those faces – glaring for a whole two hours. Dancing and glaring. Walking and glaring. Posing and glaring. Singing and glaring. It was just like walking down Republic Street.
You should have seen the men, too. Those outfits! Who dreams them up? Who makes them? Who sells them? An off-white satin suit with a self-stripe, worn with a black shirt and a silver lurex cravat, plus a diamond ear-stud. A jacket with a deep V neckline and a black fur collar, worn over a bare chest. You get the picture. When they came out covered in oil and tattoos, wearing swimming-shorts and walking as though their private parts were raw and there was an electric field between their arms and their bodies, my phone went red-hot with people screeching with laughter.
What gets me about these people is their sheer self confidence, their delusion. How in God’s name have they convinced themselves they are beauty queen or ‘model’ material? Let’s leave aside the lack of height and the fact that no model is 4 foot 10. Let’s stick to the face and figure – OK, so you’re passably pretty and you can wear a bikini without raising laughs. But Miss Glamorous Globe? Miss Malta? Miss World? I don’t think so, honey.
But thanks for the laughs. And whoever the organisers were, I had a great evening. It wasn’t glamorous, but I haven’t had so much fun in weeks.
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I was watching Jay Leno and missed it. How did they say it in Maltese: Miss Globu?
[Daphne – Miss Glemiriss Globe. And then there was a prize for Bast Affert.]
NET is a hofra.
Ha!
Has this ‘show’ been recorded? Can I watch it online, somewhere? Sounds really intriguing and uplifting!
Scerri S, you don’t need that kind of inspiration!
You’re forgetting one important thing: beauty is in the eye of the beholder! Let them (organisers, participants, relatives and friends) enjoy themselves. It’s only an innocent farce.
Hi Daphne, lucky lass,
I have not seen the show…but apart from “Gensna”?…
Malta’s Got Talent?…
…any”body” to match this?…
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1170255/Britains-Got-Talents-topless-dancer-sparks-dozens-Ofcom-complaints.html
Did they have to “flag” any contestants?
…yet, learnt that there was also a “Ms Southern Comfort”…albeit a sponsored entry.
Hawn Cetta mis-south…serrahni naqa!
Oh! I’m really sorry I missed it. It seems to me that the less ‘attractive’ take part in such programmes. They really do think that they are God’s gift to mankind. I should know as I have met quite a few who think that they are rather special, when in reality they will only get a second glance from others who want to make certain that they are not seeing or hearing things. They are unbelievable.
Have you missed the tiaras? http://www.maltarightnow.com/?module=news&at=Miss+u+Ms+Glamorous+2008+-+18+ta'+April&t=a&aid=31955&cid=43
Miss in Swimwear
Mrs in Swimwear
Mr in Swimwear
Miss in Casual
Mrs in Casual
Mr in Casual
Is this the show you were watching Saturday night? Not as bad as you make it out to be.
http://tv.yahoo.com/show/44610/photos/1;_ylt=AiG9eaVFJIdJ7WImrEznB1qSo9EF#goto_1
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/minette_marrin/article6122594.ece
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY
Hallo Daphné,
Have you seen these? (Watch the youtube first..)
believe me, the contestants I saw on Saturday night did not have a fraction of the talent this woman has. She’s amazing.
It all boils down to getting Susan to represent us in the Eurovision song contest.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/article2388277.ece
How about a poll?
just out of curiosity…did you read the comments in the times regarding the study about children in malta. a must read, particularly the bit about haviong a good childhood because we don’t have abortion!
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20090421/local/malta-worst-country-for-children-to-grow-up-in-study
Yeah that show was tacky. But as far as I know, Glamorous Entertainment was the franchisee for Miss Earth and they sent Maria Galea (http://www.missearth.tv/2008/candidates_08mat.html) last year. Maria Galea is a pretty lady. I hope they will send another great candidate for Malta this year.
hi daphne
I’m Mr Mauro Kitcher the Manager of the company Glamorous Entertainment.
i read the articale and you made me laugh too. you know how stupid you are writing this kind of story.
we dont organize these shows just for money far from it we do them as it part of our job.
thanks very much for your articale….. you made have put more fame in our company thanks
cheers
mauro