Somebody please do something about those suits.
Mrs Bortex is in the Malta Taghna Lkoll campaign video, so everybody assumes that Bortex has sponsored the Labour leader’s parade of suits.
I’m not too sure about this, because they tend to have really good fitters and even if you buy a suit off the peg they can get it to fit well – though I have to say here that I’m talking about men with good figures. I’ll admit that Muscat’s very unfortunate shape can pose a bit of a challenge to even a bespoke tailor on Jermyn Street let alone somebody trying to adapt a readymade suit.
You can tell what’s happened with the trousers. He’s had to pick a big size because of his waist and bottom, but his legs are short in relation to that waist size, so a huge piece had to be lopped off the trouser-legs, leaving them looking oddly disproportionate in terms of width and length. Because any element of tapering has been lost through this lopping, the hem sits peculiarly somewhere around the shoe and ankle.
The jacket is way too tight. It sits at the wrong level on the hips and the sleeves are too short. They used to be too long. They can’t get it right, but that might be because the arms are short and fat. There is also something wrong around the shoulders, but that might be due to his physique.
It is really difficult to dress a man who does not have a naturally elegant shape, but it can be done. All our prime ministers have been short, but not all of them have carried their clothes so badly. Borg Olivier was supremely dapper. Mintoff, before he decided it suited him to dress like a peasant, wore good clothes and suits that fit. Fenech Adami’s suits fitted him perfectly. Gonzi carries his well. The only one who never wore jackets, trousers or suits that fitted him was Muscat’s mentor, Alfred Sant.
I have another observation about this photograph. These two have clearly been advised to drop the kisses because the contrast between Michelle’s passionate ones and her husband’s indifferent pecks has become the subject of conversation. Passion for his wife is apparently the one thing Muscat can’t be bothered to fake.
So instead we have this, which is just as disastrous. Look at the body language. She leans into him with her whole body. He just leans his head towards her while the rest of his body pulls away.
Forget it, chaps. This is getting embarrassing.
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They are failing badly in their attempt to imitate the Obamas.
Mamma mia, they both look absolutely ridiculous.
Xi hlew.
Since I’m doing my best to get a slot as sartorial columnist in Flair (OK, Taste is for food), allow me to pick up my chalk here.
The all-time paragon of good dressing was probably Edward VIII aka the Duke of Windsor. Now he was short. Really short. Wallis Simpson called him “my little man”. I’ve stood next to his suits and the fellow was even shorter than me, and I’m painfully short. But by god could he carry it off.
It’s all about the cut, see.
The Duke of Windsor was short and slim. That works fine, if the lady is prepared to overlook it. Tall and fat works too. Just look at Joss Ackland.
The most challenging body shapes for cutters are short and fat, or, not surprisingly, bodybuilders’ physique.
Normal fit for a jacket is chest = waist + 6 inches. Fellow boxers may find this a little snug under the arms, because of their developed latissimi dorsi. Bodybuilders will have a chest to waist ratio that’s much higher, especially the modern steroid generation. So when one visits one’s tailor, one starts from the chest. Then one stands firm.
Bortex do tailor their suits. But one has to almost argue with them. Perhaps they’ve let their standards slip because so many of their customers never bother about getting their jackets tailored. I mean it’s not as if they’re doing it for free, so it’s extra profit. So I find their resistance a little strange. With a stiff upper lip and a few firm words, perhaps suggesting that one does not wish to look like them – for they are a poor advertisement for their product – they will comply.
Cost. Borg are, of course, on an entirely different level. A chat with the proprietor takes you back to the time when Malta was not entirely chav. But they are facing difficulties. And may have to put up the shutters forever. So if you are a dapper chap and reading this, put your money where your pipe is, and help save Cost. Borg.
They offer a made to measure service by Ermenegildo Zegna. Prices start at 1400 Euros, but before I see any cufflinked hands raised in horror, many of our MPs and lawyers can certainly afford this. Joseph Muscat is no exception.
In fact Joseph Muscat has enough dosh – to speak chav – to fly to London and pop into No. 1, Savile Row for a bespoke suit. So why won’t he? Because the man has no style. You see, the ancient Masters were never under any illusion about sprezzatura. It doesn’t come through easy living. It is the fruit of effort. You need a good beating, so to speak, in order to look dashing.
We are letting our politicians get away with sartorial murder. How long before we let them get away with real murder?
You’re too hard on yourself, Baxxter. Your slim, mean and lean frame certainly cancels out any height issue. Plus, you are always very well attired.
Joseph is a tailor’s nightmare – being short is not the problem but having a waistless body is.
Any good tailor can do short, tall, skinny or fat; that why it’s ‘tailor made’.
The problem is a person with no waist, because neither jacket nor trousers will ‘drop on the figure’.
So the jacket will always look wrong.
He will also have trouble with the trousers, because with no proper waist curve a twisted and short drop is inevitable.
Ara li kien John Bundy hemm, flok Michelle, kien ikemmixhom il-Kriemhild tal glekk.
The look like intuits, rubbing their noses together.
Intuit = an Inuit in the second person.
Actually he is more Aptenodyte in that suit
Sorry couldn’t resist.
She is dreaming she is married to Mr Grey, or whatever the guy was called.
Nope, tough luck. She missed Mr Grey but nabbed Mr Shady all fifty of him.
Aww.. Eskimo kisses !
How cute.
Looks like a head butt. Fitting.
Scared that if they touch lips, they might freeze together and get stuck.
Nobody commented about the shoes, or should I say boots! How horrible.
OMG HAHAHA
u mur mut daphne kemm int hadra
Look, I have difficulty thinking about Joseph Muscat in an intimate relationship.
I really don’t need him showing me how he goes about his thing.
Drop this lovey dovey charade already! It’s disgusting.
Is the photo a montage? There isn’t even one person in the crowd looking at them.
My hamsters used to rub their noses before mating .
Shouldn’t there be an apple between foreheads in this game?
Perhaps Marion Mizzi could help him out.
I have always had my suits tailor made in Bangkok and Cairo. I have never bought a suit in Europe. Like most Maltese I am short and in good form, I cannot just buy a suit off the peg.
How much extra do Bortex charge for altering a ready made suit?
7 Euros for trouser hems. 15 Euros for taking in a jacket. I think it’s 7 Euros for jacket sleeves.
Mela saru Eskimos?
And she is obviously really controlling herself to keep her right hand to herself, given the unnatural angle at which is is by her side, when it would normally be just short of groping him.
They both shouted ‘Malta taghna lkoll’ together, then turned to each other, rubbed their noses and said ‘Jinks!’
You can go to University, get your BA, MA, PHD and all the letters in the alphabet to follow your surname.
But class, attitude, personality, etiquette and the way you hold these three, are qualities you get from the people who raise you and then from the teachers who educate you.
No amount of money in the world will shape these things in a person unless these habits are ingrained from the day you are born, nurtured and raised.
Your parents mould and shape you. Not the University degree. That just qualifies you in a subject. It does not qualify your upbringing.
That picture looks like the beginning of stag fight
They both shouted ‘Malta taghna lkoll’ together, then turned to each other, rubbed their noses and said ‘Jinks!
Again,no wedding ring.