Hot from Claudette – in your In Box now
Today’s email offering from Claudette Abela Baldacchino: instructions on how to vote, just in case you’ve never done it before.
At least she hasn’t got her instructions mixed up and reminded us to use a condom or to wash our hands afterwards. For small mercies, we should be grateful – though you never know, that might be next in your in-box.
KIF TIVVOTA:
1. Mur fil-post tal-votazzjoni kif għandek indikat fid-dokument tal-vot li l-pulizija ġablek id-dar.
2. Hu d-Dokument tal-Votazzjoni u l-Karta ta’ l-Identita miegħek.
3. Ippreżenta d-dokument lill-Assistenti Kummissjonarji.
4. Hu l-polza tal-vot mingħandhom.
5. Agħżel il-Kandidat preferut tiegħek u ikteb in-numru 1 fil-kaxxa ta’ ħdejn ismu.
6. Kompli agħżel il-kumplament tal-kandidati skont il-preferenza tiegħek.
7. Meta tikteb in-numri toħroġx barra mill-kaxxa ta’ ħdejn isem il-kandidat u tikteb xejn aktar ħlief in-numri.
8. Jekk tieħu żball waqt li qed tivvota, informa minnufih lill-Assistenti Kummissjonarji u dawn jagħtuk polza ġdida.
9. X’ħin tlesti itwi l-polza tal-votazzjoni u itfagħha fil-kaxxa tal-voti.
GRAZZI
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Qisa qed titkellem ma’ tfal tal-iskola tan-nuna. Does she think people are morons?
Well, the people who are going to vote for her are morons. So she must explain how to vote.
AH! That explains it.
@ Rita Camilleri
For all you know, Abela Baldacchino’s catchment area could be overflowing with them. What she failed to add is to make sure you don’t vote for her – she stands out as one of the least desirable (not in that sense) candidates of the PL. Give me Marlene any time (still not in that sense).
F’dak il-kaz nipreferi lil Sharon anke isimha sabih wisq………..(still not in that sense)
If her attitude was not so pathetic, it would be hilarious. Or maybe it is. God, these people so deserve each other. It’s a wonder they do not all come in one box, marked ”lethal, dispose of contents WITHOUT opening.”
Talking about Claudette and morons. Does anybody remember Claudette doing the ‘vagina symbol’ with her hands while reading One News? Oh, how I used to laugh!
(If anybody has a video of this, please post)
She should have switched instructions No.1 and No.2. Picture this scenario. Joey Public prints Claudette’s instructions, and come Saturday, he looks at No. 1….mur fil-post tal-votazzjoni. So he goes. When he arrives, he checks what he has to do next. No.2….hu d-dokument tal-votazzjoni u l-karta ta’ l-identita’…..”Iz-z**b, allura ghalfejn ma qaltlix qabel haqq ******** “.
I would change No. 6, to read
“Kompli agħżel il-kumplament tal-kandidati Laburisti u ikteb in-numru wiehed hdejn l-isem ta’ kull wiehed u wahda minnhom, biex b’hekk tistmahom kollha ndaqs.”
Now if I could obtain the email addresses of Labour supporters, I would spam them all with the revised instructions to help them along their way.
Missing instructions:
8.1 Go to #5
10 End
11 Reboot system
@marc ellul…please don’t confuse them even more. It’s enough they have to deal with 10 points.
She must have … erm, sorry … be a dick:
“5. Agħżel il-Kandidat preferut tiegħek u ikteb in-numru 1 fil-kaxxa ta’ ħdejn ISMU.”
What if they are “preferuti tieghi”? Naghmel Numru 1 hdejhom kollha?