Caption competition – come on, make me laugh
Published:
March 15, 2013 at 4:02pm
Meanwhile, a reader sent in the one below.
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“Issa x’ser naghmlu, ghax tal-PN ma hallulniex instructions.”
OK, here’s a very rude one. You asked for it.
“…imbaghad tgharraxulha bil-werrej.”
“Le Ton, dildo tad-deheb. Insibu ahjar fl-età tieghi.”
“Guys, you’re so rude.”
Konrad Mizzi: “Shame on you, Toni.”
Toni: Il-banana tieghi ikbar minn tieghek, Joseph.
“Here’s a pinch of that white stuff, Joe.”
“Joseph, don’t listen to that p…k. He’S got you into enough trouble as it is.”
“This little piggy went to Brussels, this litte piggy stayed at home …”
You read my mind!
Joseph: “Why did you use sodium hydroxide to convert cocaine hydrochloride into methylbenzoylecgonine?”
Toni: “Just for the crack.”
boom boom
Joseph: “Ma nafx kif qed inhossni…ert li zokkor tfajtli gol-kafe, Ton?”
Toni: “Nahlef Joseph, blokka bajda bhal din ara…”
Louis: “Haqq l-o**** ergajna, Ton?”
Toni: ghandi ftit silg. Trid?
Louis: Imma Prim, henn kafe’ ghandek. Ton fejn jidhol is-silg?
Konrad: Ton hemm xi ftit ghalija? jien ilma ghandi
joseph (jahseb) : issa nara x’jaqbilli
Ejja Prim, kuragg. You ken do it without the teleprompter:
Point no 1 – Good-morning.
Point no 2…
“Iva, 23! L-ewwel nies hemm int, imbaghad Louis, 2, George, 3…”
“Mela l-ewwel haga Keith kellu jahbi l-briefcase ta’ Manwel blokka serja u t-tieni haga Louis hi, ghidli int taf xi hadd juza hendbag tan-1950s ghax inqasmeth fit-tojlets nisa tal-OPM. Did-darba mhux ser nehel jien.”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass….I ain’t splitting the bill.”
Sibna blokka silg fil-gazin! X’naghmlu biha tghid?
‘Which one is the fish knife?’
Dahlu min hemm, Wenz.
Konrad: “Joseph… Joe… Leader… Joe… Joseph…”
Toni: “Poggejt naqra fuq subghajja, ara, hekk fuq il-ponta, u dellikt darbtejn kuljum. Illum fl-ahhar nista npoggi sew”
JM: **Lup-pen, Lup-pen, l’incorregibile. Lup-pen**
Louis: “Farka biss, hux?”
TONI: “Ghax dega nsejt……mela….expresso mmakkjat ghalik, kamomilla ghal Louisss u kapuccccino ghal Konraaaad.”
LOUIS: “Ja hasra Ton, ismaghni sew….’EARL GREY’ ghalija u minghajr halib!”
KONRAD: ” Isma Ton….ahjar ma niehu xejn ghax qed inbaghti bil-gass.”
JOSEPH: “Konrad, taf li ghandek il-kussak miftuh?”
haga muhgaga, ejja Jos x’inhi ?
Abela: Look….. see, it’s like I cut off my finger and put it back on.
Muscat: What the hekk? How’d you do that?
First use the fork on the outside and then the one on the inside.
What should it be, pinkie in or pinkie out?
“Who is going to pay the restaurant bill? Gonzi left no money. Let’s think of an escape plan from here without getting caught.”
“Taht .il-mejda hawn blokka bajda. Jista xi hadd jghidli kif se nohorguha minn hawn minghajr ma naghtu fil-ghajn?”
Toni: L-ewwel haga ma kellomhx shrimp cocktail, it-tieni m’offrewlniex ross il-forn.
Louis: Mank daqxejn kusksu bhal tas-Si Mangia ta’ Keith.
Joseph: Fejn huma it-tutpiks?
JM: Louis, ara x’banana ghandu Toni.
KM: Ha nara…
LG: Ton, rajt x’qallek il-Prim?
TA: Iwa naf – dak in-number one tieghi.
“Stenna hi, ha nghidilkom jien. Issa l-poplu tnejjiekna wahda sew bihom u belghawa, issa narraw kif naghmlu ma’ dawk tal-Ewropa.”
Toni: I know this girl who gives the BEST manicures. Check these out man, aren’t you a little bit jealous?
Konrad: I LOVE your foundation, Joseph. Clinique?
Louis: Make-up isn’t really my thing, but I’ve been told of this great hair wash that makes the grey brighter.
Joseph: That Chanel lipstick I bought last week doesn’t strike me as being the right colour anymore.
how can i send you edited picture by email?
[Daphne – [email protected]]
thanks
You can always upload here for free and include the link
http://tinypic.com/
Joseph: Ma kellniex translator u kont se nibki. Mela jien, wara li ghamilt gurnata infittex l-itqal kliem fid dizzjunarju, kliem li qas naf ezatt xi jfisser, kont se nkun kapaci nghamel speech bl-Ingliz?
Toni: 1. Kont se tibki, indunajna 2: ghidlhom sorry u offrilhom zewg silgiet.
Louis: U le ftit tihom, imbaghad naraw.
Konrad: Darba ohra ghamel ftit lip gloss, boss.
Toni: Nahseb li Jose’ ha ghalih ta li ma lahhaqtux ministru
Joseph: U iva issa naghlqilhom halqhom ghal xi sentejn, u inbiddilhom kollha il-ministri ix-xjuh u tasal tieghu ukoll….
Konrad: Imma jiena… I’ll stay hux Joseph.. I want to inaugurate the gas tanks myself’
Louis: Tinkwetax Konrad, inti hemm ha tibqa ghax inti il-hero taghna!
‘
Toni – Il-partit mimli dejn tal-kampanja. Baqalna zewg miljuni x’natu.
Joseph – Ghid lill-Kieth jhallas. Nahseb fih wara.
Louis. – Ser jhallas Kieth? Ma tarax. Ma jaqbilx ghax min jaf x’jippretendi.
Konrad – ermm sorry Joseph. Nista mmur sat-toilet?
Toni: L-ewwel nejka bil-poplu Malti Guz: ser niehdu iktar minn 500 euro onorarja!
Guzeppi: Shhhhhh ghax jsimghuk
Toni : Ara Prim, ghandna tliet kategorijin ta SWITCHERS.
1. Dawk li ma hadu xejn
2. Dawl li hadu ftit
3. Dawk li hadux kollox.
Toni – “Issa hi ma nafx kif ser naghmlu. Jien ma nistax nghidlu le lil Peppi, ghaldaqstant, the bigger picture, the smaller picture, insomma kif jghidu, il-problema hi li dak Bundy ghandu l-Musumeci u dawk it-tlett injuranti puri li nqdejna bihom, dawk dawk dawk x’isemhom uwejja dak JPFO, Jesmonnn u alla maghna dak li ma jieqafx jghid u joqghod izz*bb*b bit-teleforn. Issa kif ha naghmel hi?”
Joseph – “Ton, I will tell you myself what to do. Mur fuq Xarabank, u peress li ser jixandar fl-istess hin ta’ Bundy, inti tkun okay, you’ll be in, u hekk you will see no evil and hear no evil minn dawk it-tlett xadini.”
Toni: Ara Prim, ghandna tliet kategoriji ta’ SWITCHERS.
1. Dawk li ma hadu xejn.
2. Dawk li hadu ftit.
3. Dawk li ma hadux kollox.
“Mela l-ewwel haga Manwel qalli biex nghidlek dik il-lista li tghajtu ta’ artijiet, permessi u kuntratti Joint Office kollha ghaddew u t-tieni haga Keith mhux ser jkun kuntent ghax Manwel ma rridx jghaddi l-lista tieghu u qal lanqas li kien il-lavrant tieghu jew tieghek u li suppost fhimtu…. Le, Louis hi ghal-lista tieghek aghti cans, dawk suppost ghandhom xi palazz jew tnejn jew nofs Tas-Sliema vojta fejn joqoghdu.”
“Konrad, the Russians will have to wait..tell Putin Joseph’s not impressed ma l-offerta ta’ bicca power station. Sa kemm ma jaghtihx deal bhal ma ta lil Ramzan Kadyrov ser jibqa mal-EU fuq il-pjan ta Gonzi. Kemm hasibna cheap?”
“Are you sure we can get away with the heist?”
“Yes, we can – only we need to know details.”
toni – dak il jeans minn fejn xtrah JPO, dejjem xtaqt wiehed bhalu
konrad – zgur tal GAS dak il-jeans
joseph – issa mhux ahjar zanznu dak inhar tal-opening tad disco fil mistra
louis- hallina mill jeansijiet, mhux ahjar naraw kif ha nikkuntentaw dawk il-boloh li fdawna bil-vot
”Ara prim, the right and proper way to eat escargots is ..”….
Low brow, but what the hell.
Toni – See this finger Joseph? This is how we’ll fuck Malta. Nice and slowly.
Louis – They won’t even know what hit them
Konrad – I’m in
Kif ghandkom APTIT TIEKLU? DAQS DAWK NIES BIL GUH HEMM BARRA?
Joseph: min weghdna li se jibni l-power station tal-gass fl-inqas zmien?
Toni: 1. ic-Cinizi, 2. ir-Russi
Louis: tinsiex l-iehor li ghandu l-flus mohbija ta’ Gaddafi
Konrad: what? mela mhux l-EU se tghinna Louis? I don’t understand…
Abela: ”Jew Ministru tal-Energija jew tal-Eu.”
Mizzi: ”Ha tehodli posti Ton? Dowwory. Ghal-erwieh actually”
Grech: ”Hu posti Ton, isma mini naf x’jien nghidlek”
Muscat: ‘Tghid Mish fejn qeghda? X’inhi taghmel? Tghid iltaqghet ma dak il-wicc ta Dracula?”