Kenneth is being invaded. But swashbuckling Muscat has come to his rescue.
“Just give me a minute, Manuel, let me slip into my wet white shirt and save Kenneth from an African invasion.”
Barbara Cartland be damned, for this is the no-sex bodice-ripper of the year.
One struggles with unfortunate visions of Muscat, in paragraphs inspired by the sight of a much younger Colin Firth rising from the lake in a wet white shirt and a scene that has passed into film legend, hastening to the rescue of the screaming maiden Kenneth, who is even then being invaded by Africans who he is powerless to fend off with his formidable palju.
From Kenneth’s throbbing column in Times of Malta today, some full-blown erotic imagery that is probably more the product of his subconscious than anything he intended to convey (or betray):
The immigrant stream started again and escalated to the invasion we are facing now.
The Prime Minister took the bull by the horns and threatened to push-back a group of Somalians, thereby triggering a storm of controversy about which enough has been written already in the press and the social media to bore you with by repeating now.
The upshot was that, within hours, the reaction was astounding and we saw things developing before our very eyes that hitherto had been deemed impossible.
EU President Herman Van Rompuy met the Libyan Deputy Prime Minister, Sadiq Abdulrahman, in an unscheduled surprise meeting at Castile, a hat-trick that was pulled off by a Prime Minister with brains, guts and staying power.
He sounds just like the panting Marisa Micallef (Leyson) in her breathless columns on the subject of another prime minister, Lawrence Gonzi, a few years ago.
People like that shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a newspaper column in a mainstream newspaper. They’re too embarrassing.
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It was NOT an unscheduled meeting.
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20130625/local/eu-president-van-rompuy-to-visit-malta.475397
Announced by Carmelo Abela the 25th of June.
See what you’ve done now.
PRIDE AND EXTREME PREJUDICE
Chapter 1
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a manservant. Or two.
The artist ruminated upon this edifying thought as he put the final touches to his watercolour postcard. A few deft brushstrokes to highlight the sun-kissed horizon, a couple of dabs of ochre for the merest suggestion of a sandy beach, and he was almost finished, ready to sell off yet another masterpiece for a few hundred guineas.
He sighed contentedly, reaching down for his glass of Chablis, glistening with cool dewdrops. As he paused to sniff the full, flowery body, he noticed a movement in the water. A playful goldfish, perhaps. How he loved to sit here en plein air, just like his eco-suffragette lady friend, watching the glass-like silvery surface of the sea, where nary a ripple stirred, savouring the delights of the—
“What the devil!” he exclaimed, as the still water broke into a foamy mass.
A man emerged, chest heaving with effort. He was muscular and tall. And bronzed. Very bronzed in fact. Indeed, one might call him swarthy. Very swarthy. Tawny. Burnt sienna, only darker.
My God, he thought, are we…black?
CONTINUED FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS
He was muscular and tall? Most likely not Maltese. The majority of are men are overweight and short – similar to walking dumplings as a matter of fact.
My apologies to Maltese men of all shapes and sizes – but let’s admit it some of the local specimens walking around us leave much to be desired.
Er, no he was not Maltese. Full marks for comprehension.
No apologies needed. I myself am at the bottom of the genetic pit.
Ah, Baxxter. Truly a man for all seasons. Unfortunately, not for all readers.
Yes, I found that the two things that sell well are children’s books and adult literature.
Well done, Kenneth darling. Have you read the storm of ridicule which followed and is still unfolding? “Embarrassing” doesn’t even come close.
Oh, and can we all please try to stop using “illegal” and/ or “immigrants”, and try the less hostile “asylum seekers”, or “travelling migrants”, or “people”, or “migrating humans”?
Somalians?
Last time I checked, they were Somalis …
And hat-trick referred to three goals scored by the same player? Which were Muscat’s three goals? (auto goals not included!)
I agree Kenneth should not be allowed anywhere near a newspaper column, let alone to write about politics, a task for which he is eminently unqualified.
Does he wipe it on the curtains on his way out?
epic!
So much for the liberal and progressive image he likes to portray. Mr Kenneth Zammit Tabona claims to have been upset enormously but now thinks his brilliant Prime Minsister was right.
Never mind using wretched human beings for political games. Never mind splitting families and preparing to send some back to certain maltreatment, torture or even death.
Never mind using language which has encouraged the very worst of xenophobia and racism. After all Kenneth knows you “cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs.” He is a poseur – nothing more, nothing less.
He’s just another closet racist. Well, at least now he’s come out …
I do not read his column in the newspaper. However i find his Facebook page amusing. it is so erratic and reflects the delusional mind of a privileged person who lived/lives in a bubble.
Both him and Joseph Muscat, to their loss, did not have a normal upbringing.
We employees at Mid Med Bank had to bear his ‘writings’ when he was editor of the house newsletter Il-Munita, including a poem dedicated to his dog complete with hand drawing.
Kieku jaf kemm konna nghadduh ghan-nejk, lanqas kien johrog wiccu barra.
I seem to have spent the last three months saying ‘words fail me’. Will he stop at nothing to get his wretched iced bun! This is the person who so very recently would say ‘Ma! what hamalli they are!’
And now his must be one of the brownest noses around. He’ll be mistaken for a Somali one of these days.
There were no hat-tricks and surprise meetings, Kenneth. So don’t eulogise your emperor.
Libyan deputy PM’s meeting with Van Rompuy was scheduled – The .
http://www.independent.com.mt › News
How pathetic!
I sincerely hope that if ever I was infatuated with someone it did not drag me to a fraction of the low Kenneth’s infatuation has dragged him.
You have ruined that scene from Pride and Prejudice forever. I am off to burn my DVD.
Most of the migrants are male, fit and attractive.
Few, if any, are competing at painting 1930s idylls of Maltese life.
What exactly is Kenneth’s problem?
A truly enlightened and progressive artist would be taking the bull by the horns and painting scenes of migrant life in Malta.
And a truly progressive prime minister would buy those paintings and hang them on either side of the sottospecchio fl-intrata.
Thank god Muscat finds it convenient to be in favour of gays (in my opinion he just pretends to be), otherwise Kenneth would be pushed back to God alone knows where.
Kenneth, it’s you who are boring with your stupid bowtie and patronising attitude.