Men cannot adopt girls
Published:
April 19, 2014 at 12:27pm
Under the existing adoption law, single men – whether they are gay or straight is irrelevant – are not permitted to adopt girls.
If one man cannot adopt a girl, it follows that two men can’t either. The fact that there are two of them, and that they are married to each other, does not change the essential fact that it is their gender which is the obstacle at law.
So, what is the government going to do about this? Is it going to amend the adoption law to allow single men to adopt girls so that two men, married to each other, can do the same?
53 Comments Comment
Leave a Comment
Fantastic. So married gays can only adopt boys.
Question to all parents of boys out there: how comfortable would you feel if your child was adopted by a gay couple, following a drama that would see your child ending up in an orphanage?
Question to all men out there: if you were to die today and reborn tomorrow, ending up in an orphanage, would you rather be adopted by a straight and married couple or by a gay married couple?
Problem is, you don’t have that choice. And the gay community will play the gay card to get their way over straight couples.
If my boy is adopted by a gay couple, then they are ready to love him and take care of him more then I would or could.
And to your second question I am sure, I would want out of the orphanage and opt for a an individual attention and better life. Children in an orphanage do not only want a ‘mummy’. They crave for individuality.
I’ve seen small and teen boys in orphanages around the world begging Maltese men, strait or gay, to ‘take them away.”
With children it’s not about sexuality. But it’s about bond.
I understand your anger but I’m sorry to tell you, unfortunately your reasoning is blinkered.
Who cares about the children? They are talking about votes.
My son is a single parent so I speak from experience. No matter the amount of love he gives his son, the joy you see in his eyes when he is with granny is enough to convince any gay person that a child needs the presence of a women in his upbringing.
Mhix problema, jehduhom ghand in-nanna during office hours.
Wouldn’t those two can men or single men also have mothers, who can act so lovingly to the children as you do? Plus studies have shown that children do not need to be exposed to both genders when being brought up.
[Daphne – Children most definitely need to be ‘exposed’ to both genders when growing up. They need both male and female role models. In situations where the mother has died or gone away, for example, or where a single woman has adopted or has been abandoned by/left the father, a substitute role model must be found: an aunt, uncle, older ‘brother’, and so on. Boys raised without a woman around have one set of problems; boys raised with a man around have another set of problems. Girls tend to be more adaptable, psychologically and emotionally, but those raised without a father are going to have problems forming healthy relationships with men. There is a biological and developmental reason why children need parents/role models of both genders.]
Could this be Joseph’s and Labour’s way of fulfilling their pre-election promise to have Child-Care centres in every town and village?
That could work out by having gay couples adopting children who are then left at the child-care centre for the day.
They will come out with some GOD awful interpretation of the law to work their way around , wait and see.
I have to congratulate Daphne on revealing this. This legal lacuna testifies to what was the initial spirit of the law when it was first drawn up. The recent law permitting adoption by civilly unified homosexuals contradicts this as it places the homosexual couple before the child.
Exactly!
If single men cannot adopt girls, then using same reasoning a couple of men should not be allowed to adopt boys.
Under social security rules, if a man is sharing a home with a woman, he cannot claim benefits as a single man because he is classed as co-habiting, even if he declares there is no relationship with the woman.
The rules did allow two men to share a home and claim benefits as single men. One or other of these rules will now have to change, so as not to discriminate based on gender.
If the reason the law forbids single men from adopting girls is the most obvious one, shouldn’t gay men be forbidden from adopting boys under the same logic? And where does that leave bisexuals?
This is what you get with Jojo’s pork-pie laws, quickly cobbled together for political advantage.
[Daphne – If that were the reason, single men would also be prevented from adopting boys. But it is not the reason.]
Daphne, are you sure single men can adopt at all, be it girls or boys its not my dilemma? I was under the impression that it was only possible to apply, but in actual fact a single man is put at the bottom of the list and never actually considered or taken seriously in Malta. Is this correct or am i wrong? Thank u
Confusion worse confounded.
Frankly, I am beginning to wonder what has struck the legal luminaries at the Attorney General’s office this last year or so.
In Maltese one could say “kawlata wara l-ohra”
Assuming that a man is not allowed to adopt a girl to protect the girl from possible abuse, wouldn’t it also follow, using the same line of reasoning, that gay men shouldn’t be allowed to adopt boys?
[Daphne – The restriction has nothing to do with potential kiddy-fiddling. The reasoning is that girls need a woman around.]
What about a woman adopting a boy? Such an adoption law is sexually discriminating.
[Daphne – The law allows discrimination where there is justification for it: separate lavatories for men and women, for example, or barring men from women’s changing-rooms. There are no inherent risks in allowing single women to adopt boys. After all, we do give birth to them, and we’re the ones who raise them. Yes, a boy needs a father figure, but if he can only have the one parent, then it should be the mother.]
Where do transgenders fit into to the mess?
If the birth certificate is changed to distort reality, fact and truth, that lie becomes the foundation for others.
Germany has recently added/ created a legal provision for a third gender to the mix: there is now male, female and neutral. “He,” “She” and “It.”
I would say that that’s a more honest approach to the matter.
The German language already did refer to a child in the neutral form of “das Kind / Es” so one could say the language was already more precise in its terms of reference from the foundations onwards.
And there’s intersex too besides transexuals…
Respectfully I don’t agree.
When ‘discrimination’ becomes the sole criterion to combat the vicious cycle ensues.
It’s cultural marxism in action.
And if a same sex couple want to separate will the existing divorce law apply to them as well?
This is very sexist. I would never adopt a child without having both a mother and father figure for the child but I reason that if a single woman is allowed to adopt, a man should be allowed too.
One cannot assume that all men are pedophiles. The rule that does not allow unaccompanied children to sit near men on planes is equally sexist and equally offensive.
[Daphne – It’s got nothing to do with men possibly being kiddy-fiddlers. If that were the case, single men wouldn’t be allowed to adopt boys either, and no man would be allowed to adopt at all even if married to a woman. The reasoning – and it is correct – is that girls need a woman around. So do boys, but the traditional thinking is that boys are tougher and can survive the lack of a mother. In reality, the reverse appears to be true: boys do far worse without a mother than girls do, largely because it’s girls who are tougher.]
Boys are suffering a lot thanks to that mentality you mention. I agree, boys do far worse in general without a mother but the father is also important. They are even doing worse academically and are having more trouble finding work and holding down a job.
Children brought up by their parents are the happiest children as they have both male and female role models whilst also being brought up by their own flesh and blood.
And I thought that Monty Python post was hilarious.
Muscat and his band of sorts are second to none.
How come no so-called journalist brought this up?
Proves their blinkered attitude, or at worst their incompetence.
Your comment exposes clearly the weakness of Muscat’s rushed introduction of gay adoption into the civil unions bill, despite great public reaction against, in gross spitefulness just to unravel the Opposition.
I hate to say this, but the result of this law will be seen in a few years when even more freaked-out youths will be unleashed on society. But by then Muscat will have been forgotten, so why should he worry now?
Our journalists lack all instruments to argument. Those who do become the unmentionable.
Why is it exactly that those who pretend to preach equality are the ones who want to make the point that they are heterosexual?
http://www.maltatoday.com.mt/comment/blogs/38162/elebrazzjoni_talunjoni_ivili
“Fix-xhur li gejjin nistennew mewga ta’ cerimonji min-nies li ilhom tant imxennqa biex formalment jiehdu l-istat taghhom. Kien ghalhekk li ma stajtx nonqos milli nuri solidarjetà u rispett lejn il-hbieb tieghi li minn issa se jgawdu l-istess drittijiet li ngawdi jien.
“Imma x’fettilek int, mara bhalek tmur qalb dawk il-gays kollha?” kien hemm min staqsa kwazi skandalizzat, wara li dehert niccelebra f’wiehed mir-ritratti tal-gurnali. Kien hemm min jinbex lis-sieheb tieghi biex jara jekk jien kontx “hrabtlu ma’ xi mara,” waqt li xi qraba bdew jistaqsu jekk kontx ghamilt “xi praspura”. Dawn ir-reazzjonijiet wassluni biex ghal ftit waqtiet biss nesperjenza il-pregudizzji reali li jsibu ma’ wicchom persuni LGBT fil-hajja ta’ kuljum. ”
Reminds me of Marlene Mizzi’s “though I am heterosexual.”
Chances of two guys adopting a girl for paedophilic reasons is very remote.
[Daphne – Who said anything about that. There are other reasons why girls need a mother around, and besides, marriage to a woman never stopped a man fiddling with a girl-child, as a cursory reading of newspaper reports will show you.]
Yup, read what happened to Lana Turner’s daughter when Lana was married to Lex Barker of Tarzan fame.
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20098288,00.html
Can they adopt boys?
[Daphne – Yes. But in reality, adoptions by single men are close to zero. Men don’t have a maternal instinct or a biological clock, and this even if they are gay. In every couple craving children and jumping through IVF and treatment hoops, you’ll almost always find that the woman is the driver and the man is pretty much along for the ride and to keep the peace.]
Yes OK, but it still doesn’t make sense. If the concern for not allowing men to adopt girls is abuse, then boys should be excluded too. Be it adoption by one man or two men. But then can you imagine a law were men are not allowed to adopt at all?
Personally I don’t think one’s sexual orientation should be the defining factor. It should be whether one is fit to be a parent or not. And if the argument is that all children need a mother, then that is what should have been stipulated. It would not be a matter of being gay or not.
Having said that it should be clear to all that the government used the adoption issue to gain political capital over the PN.
It should never have been included in this bill but a separate one. Shame on Muscat for using such a sensitive matter to score political points.
But truth is he outsmarted the PN. He is strategic and Machiavellian and if the PN don’t change tactics soon they are going to be in Opposition for a long time, landing us with a virtual dictatorship.
“they are going to be in Opposition for a long time, landing us with a virtual dictatorship.”
And that would be 100% our fault, especially if we are seeing through his ploys and still vote for him.
Daphne, yes granted – but there are single men who might be in a good position and want to care for a child, and could offer that child a loving home and a future.
Although not having maternal instincts a man could still feel that missing from their life and genuinely want this with all the best intentions in their heart.
But they have no chance in Malta to even be considered, fine, so even trying to give another person a better life is not possible for someone like me, hard luck I’ve accepted that..but now if I understand correctly a gay couple – two men, not one straight one, can right? But I still can’t?
[Daphne – Single men can adopt. It just never happens, with a couple of exceptions – not because single men are refused, but because single men are not queuing up to adopt.]
Daphne; by definition men cannot have maternal instinct, but we do love and protect and adore our children. We have the next best, (if not equal), paternal instinct. The happiest memories of my life are all directly connected to my children.
[Daphne – That’s entirely social and not instinctive, and it happens AFTER your children are born and because you are given to understand that the children are yours, which they would be generally, except that you have to take it on trust. Men as a general rule have no urge to have children. They just love them when they arrive. And they will love any child that is presented to them as theirs, with catastrophic consequences when and if they find out that it is not theirs at all.]
Men as a general rule have no urge to have children? Where did you get that from? I know plenty of couples in which the man wants children and is the main driving force behind the decision to have them.
[Daphne – Oh yes, of course you do.]
If a gay man is married to another gay man he is not single any more.
[Daphne – Try not to be fatuous, Claude. The reason why single men are not allowed to adopt girls is because there is no woman around, and not because they are single per se.]
I know that but you asked what government is going to do about this. This will be its line, you wait and see.
The law should include that single men cannot adopt children, that is boys OR girls. Hence two men cannot adopt either boys or girls.
Might as well go the whole hog and just outlaw single men.
Just make being male and being single illegal.
And will the Opposition abstain?
Simon Busuttil, unless you pull your socks up, Malta is damned.
No more fairy tales about abstention being the only option, please. If there is no other option for the PN except that of making an utter fool of itself then call it a day.
Don’t you think that this issue was discussed internally at the Nationalist Party?
Should the PN have voted in favour just to look good when thousands of people out here are against the adoption bit?
With the divorce issue we had a referendum so same should have been done for the adoption law too and included together with the MEP election.
I can assure you that it would not have passed but Muscat is a spiteful person and he included it to be just that.
This is a crazy ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court. If a photographer denies their services to a gay couple in Malta is there grounds for him/her to get sued?
As a photographer, isn’t it within my rights to choose who I work with? And here I am not talking about religious beliefs. I would feel really uncomfortable covering a gay wedding as I have no experience in dealing with same-sex couples and instructing them on posing etc.
http://www.slrlounge.com/supreme-court-refuses-hear-appeal-wedding-photographer-lgbt-case
And what exactly do you think a gay couple would be doing at their own wedding? Standing on their head? Running around naked? Ridiculous.
Men don’t seem to play the father figure role in children’s lives anymore mainly because the need for our our skill set is diminishing very fast and a lot of us find it harder than our fathers to find a place in society.
Women have the upper hand in child custody, also the majority of teachers in schools are women meaning that boys are “modelled” by women both at school and home, more men need to apply for teaching jobs to salvage our sinking society.
The Marlboro cowboy male role model is dead, Justin Bieber is in.
If that is not enough, women seem to be dominating the scientific biological future too, with artificial insemination amongst a lot of other things.
As a man I can admit that we do not have as many options as women. I see a lot more men give up because of lack of motivation.
Most 30-year-old men act childish because they never had a chance to grow up like their fathers did in our European society.
Soon the whole world will become sexless just like Japan is, where men have given up on marriage completely mainly because of the law and porn. The traditional man will continue to die, while woman will supersede. “Women” being a product largely evolved by men.
I’ve never understood your reasoning on this. Children are not interested in whether or not you are male or female. They most definitely need support, care, understanding and guidance, all of which a man can give a child. Yes, even about puberty and sexism. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that I as a male parent couldn’t give a child that a female parent could.
[Daphne – ‘Children are not interested in whether or not you are male or female.’ They most definitely are. And when confronted by somebody of ambiguous gender, they will embarrass you by asking in the loudest, clearest voice possible whether this is a man or a woman. Your conviction that there is nothing that you, as a father (not male parent, for God’s sake) cannot give a child that a mother can is best tested by asking those who grew up either without a mother or with a seriously deficient one. Yes, I can see that the inevitable next step of the chauvinistic male homosexual lobby, after having acquired the right to marry each other and adopt children brought into the world by a woman, is to utterly negate the crucial role of motherhood and reduce women to a womb that is a temporary inconvenience until science discovers a way to mass produce children in laboratories. But don’t expect too many others to buy the message you’re so keen to sell. And the greatest irony of all is that the vast majority of gay men pushing this fiction are the ones who never made the ‘switch’ from mother to father at the age of seven and who remain, in adulthood, primordially attached to their mothers.]
“is best tested by asking those who grew up either without a mother or with a seriously deficient one”
There is a massive difference between only having a mother or father, and having two of the same sex. You don’t feel the loss of a mother if you have two loving stable parents, you only feel the loss of a mother if you only have one parent; a father and vice-versa.
[Daphne – No, you are quite wrong. You feel the absence of a father if you don’t have one, and you feel the absence of a mother if you don’t have one. Parents are not interchangeable. Each has a different role and function according to gender, and by role and function I don’t mean the laundry, paying the bills and cooking. Two fathers or two mothers are quite patently not the same thing as a father and a mother, which is – whatever you or any apologist says – the ideal, provided that they are both decent.]
I can’t even understand why this has become such a huge debate, there have been plenty of studies on both gay and lesbian parents done by universities and psychological organisations all over the world.
How can someone think they know more about what it feels like to grow up with gay parents than research centers (like the Cambridge University’s Centre for Family Research), family psychologists, gay parents and even the adult children themselves of gay parents, all of whom say it’s perfectly fine.
[Daphne – Of course they say it is ‘Perfectly fine’. What else do you expect them to say: ‘I hated the fact that I was brought up by two women and wish I had a father like everyone else?’ I know several people whose mothers ran off – not just left home and children, but left Malta altogether – and those children, now adults, say it was perfectly fine to be raised by their father single-handedly. I know somebody whose father was mentally ill most of his adult life, and barely worked, but whose children say they were ‘perfectly fine’ with that. It is only when the conversation goes deeper, with persons of trust, that the real feelings emerge. In the absence of real violence, abuse or horror, we are all terrifically loyal to those who bring us up, however inadequate they may have been. This is not to say that we would not have been better off in different circumstances.]
Not that I want to keep going on and on about it here, but how can you justify the fact that you simply think its wrong when actual family research centres and physiological organisations have done numerous studies and concluded that there is nothing wrong with it. How can someone say they simply know more about family then a collective group of family psychologists? Than gender psychiatrists?
More than all of these:
The Cambridge University’s Centre for Family Research
The American Academy of Pediatrics – the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry – the American Psychiatric Association – the American Psychological Association – The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy – The American Psychoanalytic Association – The National Association of Social Workers – The Child Welfare League of America – The North American Council on Adoptable Children
The University of Amsterdam
The Canadian Psychological Association.
The Australian Institute of Family Studies.
Practically every major family research centre in the world.
You can’t expect everyone to accept, ‘well some of us just feel like its wrong so it must be’.
“Need a mother” is quite a strong term. I’m pretty sure nobody needs a bi-polar mother, an insane mother, an alcoholic/drug-addict mother or a mother that spends child benefits on cigarettes, hair and nails rather than their child’s school uniform.
Yet there are people who have them, but definitely would do better without.
[Daphne – Well, obviously. Everybody needs a roof over their head, but nobody needs a collapsing roof. Everybody needs food, but nobody needs poisonous food and would be better off without it. The word ‘decent’ doesn’t have to be specified.]
Simon Busuttil should have made it very clear that the opposition is not against gay marriage, but against gay adoption.
Not because they are against gay rights, but because the are in favour of the best interests of adopted babies and children.
Muscat tied the two issues together precisely to make the opposition look as bad as possible in the eyes of many. I believe we are the only country in the world which has done so.
Busuttil must not assume that all people are intelligent (or bothered) enough to see through Muscat’s conniving.
L- irgiel gay jew mhumiex, m’ ghandhomx maternal instinct. Nisa u rgiel ma jistghux ikunu ugwali f’ kollox ghal semplici raguni li huma ragel u mara.
Imma llum sirna nhobbu wisq nuzaw il kliem diskriminazzjoni u drittijiet f’ kollox. Issa hemm it tielet sess…manafx taht liema kategorija jaqa. Xi tgerfix!
Daphne, I’ve had enough of this nonsense.
I used to live in a country where my values and religion were the ones declared in our Constitution and also those of the majority of the population.
Today, I hate to say I’m Maltese.
Democracy where the majority prevails has turned the other way round, where the absolute minority dictates how and where children are raised.
I dare Franco Debono to erase any reference to Christianity in our Constitution.
Sirna pajjiz tal- karnival u tad- dahk!
Jaqq! Jaqq! U nerga nghid Jaqq!
With Joseph Muscat at the helm one should stop asking what men and women can, should or may do.
Anything goes, and Joseph Muscat will always find so-called liberals who will support him