First Aid in English (II): ‘a Bermuda’ and ‘a shorts’

Published: June 27, 2014 at 10:51pm
This is not a Bermuda. This is a pair of Bermuda shorts.

This is not a Bermuda. This is a pair of Bermuda shorts.

It’s that time of year again, when the newspapers are full of reports of handbag-thieves fleeing the scene in “a shorts” and of missing teenagers last seen wearing “a grey Bermuda”.

So here’s hoping that this simple explanation will cut down on those tooth-grinding moments and also stop as many Maltese people as possible from continuing with their grossly Maltese error of describing how they packed ‘a Bermuda and a shorts in a luggage’.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS ‘A BERMUDA’.

That item of clothing in my picture here is ‘a pair of Bermuda shorts’. When talking about them, you may drop the ‘a pair’. However, when you do so, you must always refer to them in the plural even if there is just the one piece of clothing.

Some examples follow.

Tony is wearing Bermuda shorts.

His Bermuda shorts are blue.

I like Tony’s Bermuda shorts. I think I might buy a similar pair, perhaps green ones though.

I said to Anne that it would be a very bad idea to come to the wedding wearing a pair of Bermuda shorts, even if they are made of silk.

Bermuda shorts take their name from Bermuda, the archipelago in the Atlantic. Therefore calling Bermuda shorts ‘a Bermuda’ makes no sense at all and reveals that you have no idea what the name means.

Now on to ‘a shorts’. First off, ‘shorts’ is not pronounced shoRRRRts, but shaw-ts. The ‘r’ is not pronounced, but then neither is it silent which is why ‘shorts’ and ‘shots’ are pronounced differently. The ‘r’ just changes the vowel sound.

Similarly, Bermuda is not pronounced BeRRRRRRmOOOOda, but Beh-myoo-dah.

So what you’re looking at in that picture up there is a pair of Beh-myoo-dah shawts.

Which reminds me that the ‘r’ in ‘pair’ is not pronounced either. The vowel sound in ‘pair’ does not exist in Maltese and most Maltese people therefore find it impossible to pronounce (vowel sounds to which we are not exposed in early childhood are impossible to learn later in life, research has shown). I don’t know how to render ‘pair’ phonetically in a way which explains how it should be pronounced – the closest I can get is by saying that the pronunciation of ‘pear’ and ‘pair’ is virtually identical, and that neither is pronounced ‘peRRRRRRR’.

‘Shorts’ does not take the indefinite article ‘a’ unless it’s with the words ‘pair of’.

I’ll keep it simple. ‘Shorts’ is plural, despite being just the one item. ‘Pair’ is singular, despite being two. ‘A pair of shorts’ does not mean a sufficient number of shorts to clothe two people. It means just the one item, to be worn by one person.

‘A shorts’ is wrong because ‘shorts’ is plural. And I used the singular verb right there because the verb ‘is’ is a reference not to the shorts themselves, which take the plural form, but to the word that signifies shorts.

So it’s either ‘a pair of shorts’ or simply, ‘shorts’.

Some examples of how to speak about shorts follow.

Your friend turns up for coffee wearing embroidered denim shorts. You say to her: “THOSE ARE really nice shorts. Where did you get THEM?”

The police ask you for a description of the man who stole your beach-bag. You say: “He was quite fat, which means that his mother was a bad woman and didn’t breast-feed him back in 1990. Oh, and he was wearing yellow shorts.”




32 Comments Comment

  1. H.P. Baxxter says:

    First Aid in English (III): “stage” and “bus stop”.

    [Daphne – This is where it comes from: http://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/fare-stage Back in the dark ages when I was a child, fare stages were marked with signs at the relevant bus-stops: ‘FARE STAGE 1’ etc. Not all bus-stops were fare stages, but ordinary bus-stops did not have signs saying ‘BUS STOP’ and fare-stage bus stops had signs saying FARE STAGE, so people assumed that bus stops were called ‘fare stage’ and that soon became ‘stage’.]

  2. Philip Micallef says:

    Bermuda shorts originated with the British Army for wear in tropical and desert climates, and they are still worn by the Royal Navy.

    During the Second World War there was a shortage of clothing in Bermuda. According to Jack Lightbourn, former Executive Vice President of the Bank of Bermuda, the general managers of the two banks in Bermuda, The Bank of Bermuda Ltd and The Bank of N.T. Butterfield were concerned that their male employees would not have suitable clothing to wear.

    They arranged for a local tailor to make two pairs of shorts, modeled on the shorts of the British military, for each of their male employees. The shorts were made from a very itchy grey flannel material, and each employee was supplied with two pairs of heavy grey wool long socks to wear with the shorts.

    This was the beginning of Bermuda shorts as business attire in Bermuda. In the post war period local merchants such as Trimingham Bros. and H.A. & E. Smiths improved the design of the shorts and used bright coloured materials as the shorts became more popular.

    There are strict regulations on Bermuda shorts and Bermuda shorts are serious stuff here: Bermuda passed a law that states that Bermuda shorts should not be shorter than four inches above the knee.

  3. Queen's English says:

    Daphne, like you, I am a bit of an ‘English geek’ so I really enjoy your posts about correct usage. There is really nothing wrong in insisting that people use correct English since it is such an important world language.

    Maltese is important but in a different sort of way. It is important in a fuzzy romantic sort of way but is useless outside Malta and inside Malta if you want to communicate about anything technical or scientific.

    Regarding mistakes like ‘a shorts’ or ‘a scissors’ they arise because Maltese people do not have similar structures in their native language.

    [Daphne – Not so, at all. The indefinite article does not exist in Maltese. In Maltese, there is no equivalent for ‘a shorts’. There is only ‘shorts’ or ‘the shorts’. English and Maltese are structurally two completely different languages. So using your justification, Maltese people should never be able to speak any English at all. or Italian, for that matter. But we do.]

    But I don’t feel too bad about this. Each nationality make their own peculiar mistakes when it comes to English. I was very perplexed when I met the first German who insisted that he wanted ‘to become a coffee’. He was using a German verb (it sounds like become) but it means ‘get’ or ‘obtain’.

  4. Grezz says:

    The snatch-and-grab thief was wearing a Bermuda shorts when he ran off with the luggages.

  5. Grezz says:

    Children’s schoolbooks are replete with the “word” “xorz”.

    • H.P. Baxxter says:

      So Nicole ‘Jo’ Scherzinger’s Daisy Dukes would be xrejjez, I suppose.

      • Bubu says:

        Oh no! Don’t give them ideas!

      • H.P. Baxxter says:

        Id-Denfil 40th edition (Kollezzjoni Spexjal Bamper)

        “Ritienne kienet qed thejji biex titla’ sal-Liquid Club. Dawk il-partiss ma kienitx titflihom, u l-ghaxqa taghha kien li tnizzel l-empitrijs bil-kanzunetti favoriti taghha u doqqhom l-ghada fuq l-ajpod ma’ shabha tal-iskola. Kellha kollox lest: tenk topp imqaccat, zarbun pletform, u xrejjez inkaxxat li missierha dejjem kien jghidilha ghad ikun l-ghali taghha…”

      • La Redoute says:

        Tiddawnlowdja, mhux tnizzel.

  6. APS says:

    nice and fit! :)

  7. Db says:

    I can’t stand the way a court judgement is referred to as a ‘sentence’ because it is ‘sentenza’ in Maltese.

    [Daphne – That also happens because some court judgements are for prison sentences.]

  8. ken il malti says:

    Now when I hear the word “Bermuda” I think of that Youtube video about Charlon Gouder and Testaferrata Street and a wallet.

  9. Mark Vassallo says:

    The converse can also be true.

    I remember, many moons ago, my mother, having recently moved to Malta, struggling with her Maltese ordered a pair of trousers from the local dressmaker.

    The measurements were taken once, but the dressmaker delivered 2 pairs of.trousers. “Mhux inti ordnajt par qalziet?”

  10. Bermuda triangle says:

    In a Valletta shop window I recently saw the following notice: ‘Price – Jacket €95 Trouser €30.’

    The Maltese word for trousers (always used in the plural) is “qalziet” which is the plural of “qalza” (It. calza), stocking. This plural meaning of the word has been forgotten and qalziet is used in the singular, the plural being, in fact, a double plural “qliezet”.

    This goes back to the time when men wore hoses and trousers were not yet in fashion.

    • H.P. Baxxter says:

      “Qalziet” is not plural at all. And you should be careful about using modern Italian as a clue to the etymology. The Romance vocab in Maltese was introduced before Italian even existed.

      The word “qalziet” is just the Arabisation (or Siculo-Arabisation, if we want to be kind to our, er “sbejha patria latina”) of calzetum/calcetum/calzectum/calciarettus and variations. The word starts appearing in written sources around the 13th century.

      Yes, it meant hose. But even in medieval Latin or proto-Sicilian/French/whatever, it was always “paria calciarettis”. So it’s il-[par] qalziet. Not plural at all. A [pair of] singular noun.

  11. maltenglish says:

    One of the most tell-tale signs of a Maltese speaking English is the pronunciation of monosyllabic words ending in a consonant as if they were Maltese words ending in a double consonant e.g. pot [phonetic alphabet:ˈpät] is rendered “pott”, big [ˈbig] is rendered “bigg”, mop [ˈmäp] is pronounced “mopp” etc.

    [Daphne – There is no final ‘g’ sound in Maltese. It is always pronounced as a K sound. So big actually comes out as Bic, like the ball-point pen. And mug comes out as muck.]

    In English and a number other languages, there are no double consonants in pronunciation, even if the word is written with double consonants, the effect of the latter case being usually that of influencing the pronunciation of the vowel, lengthening it.

    The word “kiss” in English [phonetic alphabet: ˈkis] is not pronounced as if it were in Maltese with final a double “s” sound. This is very hard for most Maltese to comprehend and is one of the most distinctive features of Maltese English. Few Maltese, if any, including those who think they pronounce English perfectly, speak English faultlessly.

    [Daphne – Few British people do, for that matter.]

  12. May says:

    Someone said to me ”I went to have a tea”.

    When I replied that she meant ‘a cup of tea’, the reply was, ‘U iwa’

  13. NGT says:

    “is-slipper” instead of “jogging/running shoes” or “a trouser”

  14. H.P. Baxxter says:

    Here’s one for both Daphne and Giovanni Bonello:

    Ordnance Street is not Triq l-Ordinanza.

    [Daphne – The trouble is that most people don’t know it’s Ordnance and not ‘ordinance’. Nor do they know that ‘ordnance’ and ‘ordinance’ are two completely different words. http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/ordnance
    https://www.google.com.mt/search?q=meaning+of+ordinance&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&channel=np&source=hp&gws_rd=cr&ei=YwKvU9azKsav7Aao7IC4DA ]

    • H.P. Baxxter says:

      Yes, that’s why we need Lesson VII. Giovanni Bonello should start a campaign to have the Maltese street name replaced by the proper translation, like he did with his de Vallette jihad.

      People listen when he speaks, so I appeal to him.

  15. E says:

    Unfortunately, this lesson isn’t going to reach those who actually need it. Also, nothing wrong with a slightly rounded ‘r’ (not the exagerrated ‘RRR’ obviously, but closer to the American pronunciation is what I mean).

  16. John Higgins says:

    Min jaf jilbiex Bermuda shorts Jozef when jmur il-bahar? U ghal hemm sejrin ta.

  17. Ruth says:

    Do you actually expect any of those Maltese who voted for Alfred Sant in the EP elections, to understand this? I highly doubt any of them will. This is all Chinese to them.

  18. ketchup says:

    And you have forgotten the best one here……ha naghmel toilet…so amusing.

  19. MB says:

    Another one is ‘panty’.

    [Daphne – Penty, actually.]

  20. Martin says:

    The idea that there is only one correct pronunciation of English – that used by abut 10% of the population of London. is laughable.

    It is so outdated, it is out of sight.

    If it is wrong to use “bermuda” instead of “bermuda shorts”, would you say the same about using “mobile” instead of “mobile phone”?

    [Daphne – Yes, I do. And it’s not just me, either. If you read the London newspapers on a regular basis, you’ll never come across a reference to a ‘mobile’. It’s a mobile phone. That’s because the language, unlike Maltese, has plenty of other uses for ‘mobile’ and it does not automatically signify ‘portable phone’. No, correct pronunciation is far from laughable. It is a major advantage, so do yourself a favour and aim for it. Do you honestly imagine that Keira Knightley would have achieved what she has with a Liverpudlian accent? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbCwd8j5gwM And heavy accents are only a tradable commodity when you’re Penelope Lopez.]

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