I'm going to 'cuse you to the police!
Magistrate Herrera embraces MEPA case officer Omar Cucciardi at her 45th birthday party. Perhaps he's not a friend of hers but a friend of Robert's.
When we were kids in the primary school playground, the teacher’s pets and assorted other jerks used to have an expression they loved and deployed all the time.
“I’m going to ‘cuse you! I’m going to ‘cuse you to Miss!”
That’s what I thought of when Magistrate Consuelo Herrera heard me say the word ‘Liar’ on my way out of court and rushed straight back into the courtroom, shouting:
“Sur Magistrat! Sur Magistrat! Qaltli li jiena giddieba.”
By then it was 2pm, I assume the magistrate was even more drained than the rest of us were, and he refused to come back out into court to deal with his colleague’s complaint. So Magistrate Herrera announced that she would file a complaint with (her friends) the police instead, and get them to investigate me for calling her a liar.
By the time I got home, the police were already on the phone – landline and mobile, both ringing at once in a repeat performance of that earlier episode – asking me to go to HQ in Floriana for questioning. I told them that I had just driven home from Valletta, had no intention of returning in the rush-hour traffic (it was 5pm by then), had wasted a whole day at her magistrate’s pleasure already, and it would have to wait until tomorrow.
So tomorrow I’m going back to Police HQ to repeat the farce, wasting police time and my own just because Magistrate Herrera is better at throwing her weight around than Charlon Gouder is.
“Did you call Magistrate Herrera a liar on your way out of the courtroom yesterday?”
“I said the word ‘liar’ on my way out of the courtroom yesterday. I wasn’t looking at the magistrate at the time. If she assumed at once that the word ‘liar’ referred to her, then perhaps we should ask why.”
Interestingly enough, I called her a liar on this blog on the grounds that she lied to her husband repeatedly, and I said that anyone who lies to their spouse on a regular basis about serious matters is more than capable of lying in other situations, that those who lie in their private life are open to the suspicion that they lie in their public life, too.
But the magistrate didn’t consider that to be defamation. It’s not one of the things to which she objected when she testified this morning.
She didn’t object to my remarks about how she had sexual relationships with policemen, either. Nor to my description of how she cheated on her husband while Robert Musumeci cheated on his wife.
She didn’t object to my revelation that she sat in judgement over Joseph Musumeci while she was ‘secretly’ having sex with his brother.
She didn’t object to what I wrote about her appointing Robert Musumeci as a court expert several times when she was sleeping with him clandestinely.
In fact, she didn’t mention the words ‘Robert Musumeci’ during her protracted testimony.
No. What she found to be defamatory instead was this.
I wrote that she looks like a cross between Worzel Gummidge and the back of a bus.
I wrote that she is a bitch.
I referred to her as an old sow who is middle-aged.
I joked to somebody who commented that he is ‘imwahhal mad-desk‘ that it’s better than being ‘imwahhal mal-magistra‘ but that it doesn’t make much difference given that they are roughly the same shape and size.
I criticised her for licking Giannella Caruana Curran’s butt on Facebook by posting really crawling birthday greetings – a magistrate who hears criminal cases to a lawyer who defends them.
She said that they are old friends and why shouldn’t she wish her old friend a happy birthday on Facebook? They are old friends, she said, because they used to spend their childhood summers together in St Paul’s Bay.
But Dr Caruana Curran is 52 and Magistrate Herrera is 45. Perhaps Magistrate Herrera wishes us to believe that when she was a 14-year-old schoolgirl she hung around at Sirens with a 21-year-old married law student who had a baby to look after.
I don’t think so.
Then there was the talcum powder. ‘I never used cocaine’. I never said you did, sweetheart. In fact, I never even mentioned the word. If you assumed that talcum powder is a reference to cocaine, that’s your problem and not mine.
Equally interesting is Magistrate Herrera’s willingness to swear that none of her guests ever used cocaine. Yes, right. I wouldn’t swear that about anyone, let alone the sort of people who turn up to her events.
If I were a cocaine dealer, that’s exactly the kind of market I would penetrate. The profile for cocaine use is exactly that of the sort of people who turn up to Magistrate Herrera’s ‘charity events’. Not all of them, of course, and not by a long shot. But the cocaine dealers aren’t selling their wares to ghosts or to kids.
They’re selling it to bored middle-aged people whose lives are screwed over, who have more money than sense, and who have resorted to a 21st-century form of nihilism.
But hang on a minute. She didn’t quite say that. No – she said that none of her guests have a police record of drug use.
So before she invites you round, you have to show her a copy of your police record. ‘I’m clean, Cons – can I come to supper?’ As for the ones who snort and don’t get caught, well, who’s asking?
Then she fixated on my caption ‘There’s a lot you can do with a pair of chopsticks’ and her ‘inkjesta’ in Singapore. She mentioned it a few times – ‘the chopsticks’. Yes, Consuelo – there’s a lot you can do with a pair of chopsticks. You can knit a scarf, for instance.
She’s not involved in property development – oh, please. When she was still living with her husband, she dissolved the community of acquisition so that she could say ‘it’s all his’. Now, with Robert Musumeci she doesn’t even have to do that because they’re not married.
Apparently, she doesn’t know Saviour Balzan – she’s only invited him to her house. I take it she invites strangers who are unknown to her, then.
And here’s the best one of all: ‘jiena l-imputata ma nafhiex’. You could hear a pin drop when she said this. She doesn’t know me. Unbelievable.
Daphne who? Oh, you mean THAT Daphne over there, who’s been familiar to me for 30 years, who has been to my house for drinks and to my surprise birthday bash for a few close friends (organised by my husband who thought she was one because I had led him to believe so while using her for cover while I went out with other men), with whom I ate countless lunches every few weeks over several years, with whom I organised a sixth form reunion which led to an awkward encounter which she described and which I haven’t raised in court as libellous because I don’t know just how much she knows? Oh, you mean THAT Daphne?
I think Magistrate Herrera has failed to draw a distinction between knowing somebody and being their friend.
She was right when she said that we’ve never been friends. She found me impossible to manipulate, and I found her too squalid and uninteresting. She invited me to her home and I never invited her back – precisely because I didn’t want a relationship with her.
But we know each other. You don’t have to maintain a friendship with somebody to know them, but then I’m aware of this because I don’t have a Facebook fetish and understand what real friends are as opposed to knowing someone.
Meanwhile, I’ll leave you with the upshot of this morning’s court sitting.
The magistrate believes that calling her an adulterer and cheat who sleeps with policemen isn’t defamatory. But saying that she looks like a cross between Worzel Gummidge and the back of a bus is.
Perhaps now you’ll understand why I never had any interest in being part of her network, even though I would have been a prize catch.
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Thunder thighs is on the ropes. Jugular time.
[Daphne – Let’s not discuss the size of her thighs, Harry. She considers a discussion about her shape to be defamatory, while the suggestion that she slept with another woman’s husband is not. What….different standards some people have.]
Sorry Daphne. I promise not to defame her large, pink thighs.
If the magistrate had any sense, she would have resigned weeks ago; she is digging a bigger hole for herself with every complaint she makes.
Maybe she’s taking her time to dig it – with a pair of chopsticks, of course.
“If the magistrate had any sense, she would have resigned weeks ago”.
I think she will show us what the Samson Syndrome is. If she’s digging a hole she will bring down what is left of the reputation of the judiciary with her.
If I were a member of the bench I would avoid being seen with her. I for one hold the marriage bond in high regard and detest those people who break up their marriage and other people’s.
Respectable members of the bench help married people to re-unite and to forgive each other when there are difficulties in a relationship.
Perhaps she is coming to realise that the hole she has dug so far is not deep enough. But then, she probably isn’t smart enough.
Loved the bit about Dr Caruana Curran and the magistrate.
After what happened today I propose that the University of Malta give an Honoris Causa degree in Law to Daphne. She passed the practicals with flying colours…cum laude.
That’s what the elephant inspector boasts about.
cum laude is Second Upper…
Summa cum laude is First Class Honours and our Daph has it in spades
And what about Anglu Farrugia’s MAGNA cum laude which he flaunts with such gusto?
Gahan my thoughts precisely!
To Daphne – imma kemm int tajba?
Great minds!
Did she give perizji to Vincenso de Mel too?
Daphne – you don’t really need this, because you’re tough – but don’t give up.
You have turned the searchlight on a sleazy ring of mazuni (the Maltese equivalent of ‘wheeler-dealers’ not of ‘Freemasons’) and arrivistes. The harm they are doing to the judicial system and the trust of the public at large in that judicial system, is untold.
Soldier on, Daphne. Soldier on.
Daphne,
Is there a date scheduled for the cross-examination of Magistrate Herrera?
[Daphne – Not yet.]
Well, did she? Why not spill the beans yourself?
Worzel Gummidge is going to sue you to kingdom come.
Do I take it that Byon Jo and Charlon got tired camping outside court this morning? Well, it was a l-o-n-g day. Or were they afraid that they might get a shot of Magistrate Scerri Herrera leaving the scene in a brown mini skirt with extra large see-through sheer nylon tights patterned with flowers?
You forgot to mention the very prominent zip (no, not Akbar Zib) down the length of her top. Not quite becoming for a magistrate, and a 45-year-old one at that.
About a month ago someone here quoted The Times (London) as saying “Publish and be damned”. It was the Duke of Wellington who said that and he was not addressing any newspaper, but his former mistress who was blackmailing him by threatening to publicise his letters to her.
There is no parallel with the present court case. Evidently no one is daring someone else to publish anything and be damned – quite the opposite.
The police are being degraded to the level of “puppets on a string” in an attempt to suppress the public exposure of salacious events indulged in by someone whose job is to administer justice. There is no comparison between the behaviour of the Iron Duke and this magistrate.
She didn’t say anything about being likened to Miss Piggy?
[Daphne – No. Apparently, being compared to a Muppet isn’t libellous, but being compared to a desk is.]
Daphne, don’t laugh out loud much, but just did!
This woman has lost touch with reality altogether. I hope the court has taken very careful note of what she specifically protested about, and when it’s your turn to speak, you willalso point out all the more serious matters she kept mum about…. and the court should then ask her why.
Maybe that’s because Miss Piggy is considered by some to be young and sexy. It takes all sorts, after all.
If I were you, I would write a book. It would be a best seller.
Alan,
I don’t think the court should then ask her why. Then, it would be the turn of the Commission for the Administration of Justice to make a move.
If the presiding magistrate wishes to gain a good understanding of this case (as is his duty), in order for him to take an appropriate and fair decision, without blinkers on, he jolly well should.
And he should also read this blog from the beginning of the saga, simply to gain insight.
I honestly find these kind of people despicable and unlikeable.
That “liar” incident for instance, what is Consuelo? 12?
Jekk dik lahqet magistrat int haqqek tkun prim imhallef, u mhux bic-cajt qieghed nghidlek.
It might be better to focus exclusively on the issues that clearly expose magistrate’s antics into direct conflict with the ethics that magistrates/judges should uphold – and which would confirm that she was bringing the whole judiciary into disrepute.
I am afraid that unnecessary adjectives will dampen the seriousness of the main accusations – and might induce those who have an agenda to divert attention and make a fuss about such statements – and avoid the really scandalous issues.
Imagine what the magistrate would have said if the words she referred to today had not been published? Please do not give her words to cling to – so that maybe and hopefully the real serious issues can be addressed.
Well said.
Apparently Consie hasn’t heard the adage – ‘When in a hole stop digging’. She’s pathetic.
[Daphne – Oh, she felt defamed by being called Consie, too. ‘Di xi trid tghid biha?’ Somebody should tell her that if she wishes to be addressed decorously, then she should behave decorously.]
Vera m’ghandhiex x’taghmel! She should hide under a rock…but then it must be a certain size because size matters.
Daphne, careful – Dr Caruana Curran might sue you next for telling us that she’s 52.
You’re amazing, Daphne. Keep it up. Mela hafna mill-kawzi jigu deferiti, u imbaghad nahlu il-hin f’ kawza bhal din. Unbelievable.
Nahlu l-hin,jekk inharsu lejn ix-xinxilli li ppruvat tiffoka fuqom il-magistrat. Fin-nofs hemm ir-reputazzjoni ta’ l-istess gudikatura kollha wara dehxa li diga qalghet mill-kaz ta’ Noel Arrigo u Patrick Vella…mhux cajt.
Jekk m’hix se tinqata’ malajr u naraw xi rizenji mhux se nkunu mohhna mistrieh li l-gustizzja qed issir kif jixraq u mitlub f’pajjiz demokratiku Ewropew tat-tieni millenju.
Fiducjuz li jekk Daphne tehel xi haga serja, tappellaha u ghal bzonn tibqa’ tiela biha sal-Qorti Ewropeja, fejn naqlu bajda naqlu tnejn (“she will go the whole hog”).
(”she will go the whole hog”) Mind you offend Kermit.
U nahlu l-hin tal-pulizija wkoll (apparti l-fatt li huma mhallsin bi flus il-haddiema).
Jien nahseb li l-ahjar ghal gid ta’ kullhadd hi li il-magistrat taqbad u tirtira kollox ghax mid-dehra ser tinqala iktar hama li la hi, la il-Commission for the Administration of Justice u lanqas il-gudikatura mu ser tiehu pjacir.
Jista xi hadd jintervieni ghall-gid ta’ kullhadd?
Jekk ma jsir xejn allura nghidlek, Daphne, kun soda u aqla kollox la iridu jwebbsu rashom.
Sorry,Daphne but why is this being investigated at Police HQ and not at Valletta Police like all the other cases that happen at the law courts?
[Daphne – Maybe a police inspector she had sex with is pulling the strings.]
You said that she slept with policemen. So tomorrow you can be investigated by one of them!
[Daphne – Exactly. And I didn’t ‘say’ that she slept with policemen. She actually did sleep with policemen.]
Surely that would put one in an awkward position? (Excuse the pun.) What I mean is that by so doing, one is exposing oneself to possible blackmail, especially if the other parties are unaware of their partners’ infidelities.
Exactly. That’s the point that Super One, Maltastar, and their buddies at Malta Today keep overlooking.
And The Times and The Independent and Maltarightnow … the list is endless.
Little do they realise that it is freedom of speech which is at stake here too. Imagine one of them ever “digs up the dirt” on someone in authority. Would they risk exposing the details, lest they be meted out the same treatment which Daphne has? Hardly.
Tista ghada tghidilna min kien il police inspector li interrogag, halli naraw?
[Daphne – He’s called James Grech. So far, I have no information that she had sex with him, and I’m quite sure he’ll clear this up when we meet.]
“Equally interesting is Magistrate Herrera’s willingness to swear that none of her guests ever used cocaine. Yes, right. I wouldn’t swear that about anyone, let alone the sort of people who turn up to her events.”
Echoes of Noel Arrigo testifying for Godrey Ellul’s “good character” in the infamous “emeralds” case.
“Then she fixated on my caption ‘There’s a lot you can do with a pair of chopsticks’ and her ‘inkjesta’ in Singapore. She mentioned it a few times – ‘the chopsticks’. Yes, Consuelo – there’s a lot you can do with a pair of chopsticks. You can knit a scarf, for instance.”
Other uses for chop-sticks:
Wind up your hair and stick one through it.
Open difficult plastic packaging.
Scratch awkward-to-reach parts of the body.
De-vein prawns for sushi.
Remove bits of toast stuck in your toaster.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/621407/unusual_uses_for_wooden_chopsticks.html?cat=6
http://www.diylife.com/2008/02/18/top-15-alternative-uses-for-chopsticks/
Worzel Gummidge wore different heads, depending on his needs of the time. Enough said. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Worzel_Gummidge
Kudos to you for openly revealing that you ‘used’ the magistrate as a cover to go out with other men.
[Daphne – Do you know how to read? THE MAGISTRATE used ME as a cover to go out with other men, NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND. My God, honestly.]
Regardless of the libel case’s outcome, posterity will remember you as the victor in this sordid affair – the magistrate’s decision to only challenge the (admittedly gratuitous) ad hominem remarks can be read as a tacit admission that all the other accusations are true.
I owe you an apology. I have re-read the paragraph and realised that it was written in the first person from the magistrate’s point of view. It simply wasn’t all that apparent from a brief initial reading. You have to admit, it wasn’t your finest literary hour.
[Daphne – This is a blog, not literature. Let’s just forget it.]
“while using her (Daphne) for cover while I (Consie) went out with other men”
Care to expand ? Cat’s out now, might as well unleash it too.