Iceland's revenge
In a spectacular example of pathetic fallacy, Iceland has exacted its revenge for its recent economic troubles by forcing much of northern Europe to close its airspace.
A volcanic eruption which began last Wednesday had by yesterday morning dispatched enormous clouds of ash across the north, causing the United Kingdom, Ireland, Belgium, Sweden, Denmark, the Netherlands, Norway, and Finland to block off their airspace to all traffic.
There has been severe disruption in France and Spain, and airlines all over Europe (and elsewhere) have been thrown into chaos as passengers jam call centre switchboards and airport enquiry desks while flights are cancelled en masse with no definite substitutes.
I have just spent the best part of 90 minutes holding on for Air Malta’s call centre, with no luck.
Airspace has been closed not so much because ash hinders visibility (though that too), but mainly because it is sucked into airplane engines and damages them.
This particular Icelandic volcano is beneath a glacier. It last erupted on 20 March, but hadn’t done so since 1821, when an eruption began and lasted for two years.
The heat from the eruption has melted glacial ice, causing severe flooding and the evacuation of people from their homes. Norway’s ambassador to Iceland, who was camping with friends near the volcano when it erupted, had to be airlifted out.
Now it’s back on the line to Air Malta’s call centre, though I’ll probably end up driving to the airport at this rate. It will be quicker. I really feel sorry for those handling the chaos at times like this, and they also have to deal with hundreds of angry people behaving as though the clerk at the other end of the line is personally responsible for the irrational behaviour of Iceland’s volcanoes.
Update: I didn’t need to drive to the airport, after all. I opened my In Box and found an email with the ticket correction I needed. Brilliant. They noticed before I spoke to them.
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And to add to the confusion, the San Bartholomeo Fireworks Factory in Gharghur does a blow-job. I wonder whether that stuff can damage airplane engines.
Fireworks factories that blow up already kill a hell of a lot of people and wreak havoc on the ground and you’re wondering about airplane engines?
@ La Redoute – not that I was seriously worried, but for the sake of the argument: if an airplane’s engines fail there could be problems for the people on that plane and perhaps for others on the ground.
Guess who’s booked to watch the United-Spurs game and is extremely anxious at the moment…
Well Tim, you can always catch an available flight to France and then use the Chunnel. Depends how eager you are to be present at the kick-off. Mind you, I think we’ll be in for a surprise, the game I mean (all smiles).
Good for you Tim. Will you be wearing green & yellow?
Poor clerks at Airmalta. I suppose they are going to get a lot of anxious fuming callers erupting into violent language at the other end of the line.
Well said, some people should really sit down and think before they do or say something.
There was a case where a plane flew into an ash cloud and all 4 engines stopped. It was only due to luck that the engines had restarted.
I think the jammed phone lines also have a lot to do with the fact that they paid for a service that will not be offered to them. I’m not sure if volcanic eruptions counts as a case for refunds. The insurance companies sure as hell won’t pay, as they don’t cover this.
British Airways Flight 9 – 1982. The crew managed to land the Boeing in Jakarta.
“Updated Many European airports closed due to volcanix ash” – Maltastar.
Any moment now, Asterix and Obelix will turn up to the rescue.
Seems they’ve seen your comment and taken immediate action.
The title now reads “Many European airports closed due to volcanic ash”
Does anybody remember when that brilliant MP, Joe Mizzi, who chided the PN government because Etna was spewing volcanic ash which was arriving over Malta? Somebody wrote that that an umbrella over Malta would have done the trick.
[Daphne – I was the one who wrote about it, and what I actually said was that he could always try using a giant condom. Maurice Tanti Burlo was taken with that and produced a descriptive cartoon for The Sunday Times.]
Thanks.
They should have installed a filter on that volcano. Or perhaps they should run it on gas.
Iceland is not in the EU. They are allowed to use polluting ice-age technology.
There’s probably plenty of hot air down at the Hamrun glasshouse.
Just think what Astrid Vella could do with a lot of ash like that.
Maltashtar would probably run a headline “Ashtrid Vella suffering from Ashtma and skin rash. “
A volcanic rash?
Just think what Astrid Vella could do with all that hot air!
Seems I won’t be making the Tottenham – Chelsea match. Have ticket for sale. Offers over GBP 50;00 welcome.
Why not make your offer a bit more exciting by saying that you are offering the flight ticket for free with the ticket for the match?
Actually rumour has it that it’s all the work of the sahhara tal-Bidnija, as the plume may reach Italy too, close Rome airport, and the Pope’s visit to Malta will then be cancelled …and the irony? Jaqa l-gvern.
“Updated Many European airports closed due to volcanix ash”. If only they they had a zillionth of the talent of Goscinny and Uderzo.
Wonder how much ‘disruption from the eruption’ there was in 1821. The sails on the boats turned black? The fragility of modern technology–no match for a pissed off Mother Nature.
Just had a thought–if the ash cloud reaches Rome–no Pope. All that ‘face lift’ for zilch. Guess he could take a boat, landing on St. Paul’s island?
Zilch? No. We live here, don’t we?
Wouldn’t he risk being shipwrecked?
Tort ta’ GonziPN.
Another one from Maltastar website ‘Sn Bartilmew Fire-works’.
Now who the hell is he.
Perhaps Joseph can offer some “sound” advice to Iceland, just as he did during the EU campaign.
Well I hope it clears by Wednesday. I will be watching Man.U – Spurs match if I get there.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/financetopics/financialcrisis/7595088/Icelands-airports-dust-down-nicely.html
A quick look at Iceland’s Keflavik International Airport’s website revealed the airport was still open for business yesterday. Flights were still departing on time – as long as you weren’t travelling to Europe.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/financetopics/financialcrisis/7595088/Icelands-airports-dust-down-nicely.html
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00708/Graphic__an_unstabl_708308a.jpg