Am I the only one who thinks this daft and disgusting?

I saw this advertisement in the newspaper today, and wondered how on earth the clinic doesn’t understand that it is ultimately self-defeating, because it portrays exactly why boob jobs on old women are so pointless and ridiculous – and look so disgusting and daft.

You have the face of a woman of 70 hovering above the chest and breasts of a woman of 35 – which itself is impossible anyway because a boob job only lifts the breasts and can’t do anything about the crepe-like skin and freckles between them and the neck.

And in any case, what exactly is the point of a woman of 70 getting her breasts done, unless she is planning to get a job at the Employment & Training Corporation and make a play for promotion from Philip Rizzo?

At that age, however fabulous you look and however pert your breasts, you keep them covered up because it is completely inappropriate to do otherwise.

On the beach, perhaps? Well, certainly – but that makes it even more ridiculous: the torso, legs, arms, neck, face and hair of an old woman with the boobs of a young one.

Which brings me to all these face lifts, botox and what-have-you. It’s fine for a bit of touching up when you are in your 40s or even 50s if that is what you want and you think it will somehow change your life. But in your late 50s, 60s and 70s, forget it. At that stage, the body, posture, carriage, bearing, shape, walk – everything changes. And no matter what you do to your skin you remain recognisably a “woman of a certain age”.

It’s even a bad idea for men at a certain age, unless they particularly wish to look ‘preserved’ rather than young. And ageing men with too much botox wind up looking like old ladies rather than testosterone-driven young contenders. I saw Jeffrey Pullicino (Orlando) the other day and he looked like a nun caught with her veil off.

As one of my work colleagues (a man) remarked the other day after having been exposed to a conference of plastic surgeons in Malta some weeks ago, “All these women with their pulled and botoxed faces and then they walk like old ladies, heaving themselves from one leg to the other instead of striding.”

I had to laugh as he did a perfect imitation.