Do you hear the sound of gun-shots here? Because I don’t.

Everything I want to say about the scene in this video is going to sound wrong and be misinterpreted. But I’m going to say it anyway.

There’s more shouting and screaming and hubbub here than there is in the videos of people trying to escape from gunmen in a crowded concert hall in Paris last Friday. They’re screaming and panicking for the sheer hell of it, because there’s nothing to scream and panic about.

Anybody with a half-civilised mindset would have known to stand still in a situation like that, and proceed out in an orderly fashion. It was quite obvious the building wasn’t on fire and nobody was shooting anybody else. But this is the Lidl BBQ-set stampede syndrome.

Other people are screaming and pushing? Then let’s all scream and push too. How on earth can you blame the glass barrier? It wasn’t meant to withstand the pressure of hundreds of hysterical Maltese johnnies, all pushing and shoving at each other like animals.

Everybody’s talking about fire exits now. What do they imagine fire exits are? They’re doors, and if they are not the ground floor, then they also involve stairs. You’re expected to go through fire exits, and down the stairs, in a civilised fashion even in an emergency, because otherwise the sort of thing you see here happens.