Super One is out with its begging-bowl, trying to wrest money off the starving masses to pay Charlon Gouder a living wage.
Heavily disguised and wearing a leg brace, Joseph Muscat tries to raise money for Labour by once more using his father for the sympathy vote.
If you have nothing to do this weekend of sunshine and blue skies, be sure to pop along to Mile End and part with some of that money which the Partit Laburista tells us you don’t have, so much so that your water and electricity supply has been cut off because you’re too damned poor to pay the bills.
Charlon Gouder, Kurt Farrugia, Byon, Quinton, Rollon, Rayon, Marisa Micallef and the rest of them have organised a fun and exciting fundraiser filled with thrills and spills.
They’re launching the autumn and winter schedule, have no money to pay for it, and are hoping that you can spare some change.
In return, they’re laying on FREE FOOD AND DRINKS biex il-mittilkless li jahasra spiccaw minghajr ikel taht gONziPN !!!!!! jistghu imorru jiffangaw.
Be sure to help out because we really don’t want the Byons, Quintons and Charlons to wind up without their living wage and having to boil their toe-nail clippings to make soup.
The highlights are watching Super One stars and a grab-bag of Laburisti take turns at interviewing each other in an orgy of stupidity. And no, I am not making this up. I’ve taken the information from the official programme.
Ray Azzopardi interviews Brian Hansford.
Then Wayne Aquilina interviews Ray Azzopardi.
Norman Hamilton interviews the ‘Zoo quartet’.
Then Ray Azzopardi interviews Norman Hamilton.
Alfred Zammit gives a presentation.
Then Wayne Aquilina interviews Alfred Zammit.
Oh, and there’s a car show and country music. And the promo tells us that “the station will be receiving donations all night, and a number of sales adverts will be aired all night”.
So if you can’t sleep, switch to Super One at 3am and watch some sales adverts.
You can donate money to pay Charlon Gouder’s salary – or are they wages? – by sending a text message to one of three different numbers for EUR2, EUR5 and EUR10 – ghax issa haduha moda.
Right, text those donations now before we see Charlon out on the streets with his own personal begging-bowl. He’s got legal fees to pay, poor soul – that s-m-o-o-t-h policeman-turned-lawyer Andy Ellul, Sharon Ellul Bonici’s brother. On Monday at 9am I’m being arraigned in court by the police charged with exposing this friend of Consuelo Herrera to public ridicule. What a country.
Perhaps I’ll get the chance to ask him something other than what the wallet-stealing tart (no, not Magistrate Herrera) was like. Was she wortit? Jew kaz ta’ majtezwel?
This is what we need to know: why did Super One leave out the most salient part of the Chief Justice’s speech yesterday – that judges and magistrates are accountable for their behaviour not only in judicial proceedings but also in public and social life?
I’m guessing it’s a little bit too close to home. Charlon and Super One have understood too late that they run the risk of being hoist by Consuelo’s petard.
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‘Orgy of stupidity’ I like that…they remind me of the numbskulls, especially Charlon.
Funny you should say that, because I was thinking that the whole bunch might be rejects from Class 2B of the Bash Street Kids.
And please, Daphne, say that Byon, Rollon and Rayon are names you invented for our amusement …. please?
[Daphne – Rollon and Rayon are invented, but Byon is real. He’s Super One’s cameraman. Quinton is real too; and so is Charlon, as we all know.]
I’m surprised you’ve never met Hardon, the Super One microphone man, and Defecation the interviewer. They’re both at the Mile End this weekend.
Does JasON fit anywhere in all this?
I saw Byon Jo on a Super 1 spot tonight urging youngsters to help the PL. Guess he ain’t one of the pizza munchers since he was wearing Lacoste. Unless big cheese Haber himself loaned him the shirt.
“Tomorrow I’m being arraigned in court by the police charged with exposing this friend of Consuelo Herrera to public ridicule.”
You’re kidding, right?
[Daphne – Well, Monday actually. 9am.]
Watch out for those Gzira tarts Charlon, they bite. nom nom
That must be the mother of all parties. “Hello” would pay thousands for the exclusive pictures especially if they fancy dress.
Let’s see now, Norman Hamilton as Little Bo Beep, Hansford as the Fairy Godmother, Azzopardi as Cruella de Vil, Charlon as Chicken Little, Byon as Goofy, Quinton as Grumpy and Marisa as the Scarecrow looking for a brain.
You forgot Tyron, pronounced Tajrin.
I’m not usually the one to protest against piss-taking, but remember that we don’t choose our names. Our parents do. Each time I see a Rollon or Byon, I think “There but for the grace of god goes Baxxter.”
Oh great, another ‘spot the mittilkless’ event on Super One.
Funny you mention Conseulo Herrera in an article about a fund raising party at SuperOne.
It is sad to note that while she invited Charlon, Rayon, Rollon and the others to her philantropic fund-raising or her birthday parties, they have not invited her to their fundraising.
Some people are just not a good sport.
The event is taking place at Marsa, not at Mile End. I heard that they created traffic congestion yesterday, since they were issued with a permit allowing them to close part of Aldo Moro Road.
There was a repeat of the Traffic Congestion Show which K Farrugia is mentioning, on Super One TV this morning.
I watched Freddie Portelli (I like the great showman) singing live for a whole half-hour: “werzquli wahda”, “oghllu jdejkom”, “u il-kbir ghadu gej”. But judging from the five hundred people present, some of them seated, I thought it was more some PL activity for the San Vincenz geriatric population for Jum L-Anzjani which fell on the same day.
No, Tony Zarb was not seated in the Golden Circle.
Clarification:Tony wasn’t even there!
Confirmed – took me over an hour and a half in traffic to get past the event on Friday evening.
Which idiot gave them a permit to block the main road connection between south and central Malta during Friday rush hour?
At Marsa? Was that at Albert Town?
I wonder if Charlon failed Constitutional Law yet again this year. It would be interesting to know if his chances of becoming a lawyer have been shot down completely.
Or was he expelled from the course for cheating in February?
Well you know what they say – cheaters never prosper.
2013 – he will become an LL.D. – any bets?
It would have to be 2014 at the very earliest, provided he still is in the course, that is.
LEAVE MAGISTRATE IN PIESE NON OFF YOUR BUSNESS YOU BETTER SEE YOUR FACE IN THE MIRRIOR JA SAHHARA TAL BIDNIJA
How on earth did this get published?
‘Oh, and there’s a car show and country music.’
I always wanted to ask this. Why does the Labour Party have a fascination with country music, line dancing and mid-western American costumes? I never quite made the connection between mid-western American culture and Maltese Laburisti.
That’s because country music is for rednecks.
Elementary, my dear J Abela. Peroxide.
Charlon Gouder, Kurt Farrugia, Byon, Quinton, Rollon, Rayon, Marisa Micallef
How could you forget Postit and his brother, and Kurt’s arch enemy, Checkit
First we had “Teflon Tony” as UK Prime Minister, now we have “Polyester Labour” in Malta !
It’s a kind of musical chairs.