Globish
One of the London broadsheets recently carried an article about ‘Globish’. Globish is the English learned, written and spoken by non-native speakers, stripped of all its idiom and subtlety, which means that it is not really English at all, but a sort of language spoken by GPS systems and computers.
Globish and English bear some resemblance to each other in the bare bones, enough resemblance to allow speakers of Globish to think they are speaking English, so there is vast scope for misunderstanding, misinterpretation and the taking of offence, much of it caused by English not being a literal language.
A man might meet a colleague after delivering a disastrous speech and, on being asked how it went, will say ‘Not great’. The speaker of Globish will think ‘Not great? That means it was good, just not great.’ But the native speaker will know that ‘not great’ is code for ‘It was a f***ing disaster. Kill me now.’
The same man, meeting that colleague after delivering a brilliant speech, would describe the result as ‘Not bad’. His interlocutor will understand immediately that it was a raging success.
Maltastar provides me with quite a few examples of the problems endured by speakers of Globish, most often when they react to something that I have written, because it isn’t Globish and so not an idiom with which they’re familiar.
Take this, for example. A couple of days ago, Sharon Ellul Bonici’s husband popped in here with a comment about the prime minister, describing him as “threading carefully”.
And I replied: “If the prime minister threads carefully, then he’d make a good tailor.”
Sharon Ellul Bonici’s husband doesn’t really speak Globish, so he got it. But Maltastar didn’t.
And hey presto, here’s the Labour Party’s news website with its hot scoop:
The Bidnija blogger, the PN’s very own loose canon, today called the PM a tailor.
It’s true that the ‘th’ sound doesn’t exist in Globish, certainly not in the Maltese version, anyway. But surely even the people who write for Maltastar must know that if words are spelled differently – thread and tread, for instance – then they must have different meanings?
I rather suspect that they do, but the trouble with Globish is that it doesn’t allow for irony, and that’s the principal factor that sets it apart from English.
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Iktar int ghandek il-pacenzja toqghod taqra l-Maltastar.
[Daphne – Somebody sent it to me, because they were amazed.]
I can’t believe Maltastar didn’t understand that jibe at Kevin Ellul Bonici.
Did they get their heads around something yet?
Lomax, my name is SEB’s husband. ‘Kev’ is just a nick I use at this bottegin, which is tailor-made for people whose entire world revolves around beating the Joneses by exposing their warts.
Jibe’s apart, it could be that the brains behind Maltastar are being too clever by half. Lilliput is fun, I know.
[Daphne – Grocer’s apostrophe, Kevin…..]
Not at all, Daphne, you’re wrong – think again.
[Daphne – Know somebody called Jibe, do you?]
Oh, I see – you should have been a proof-reader.
Kev, trust you to believe there are “brains behind Maltastar”. I’m not surprised: the more bizarre an idea, the more readily you accept it.
kev, tailor-made will again confuse the idiots at Maltastar, they might interpret it as ‘made by Gonzi’.
Troy, perhaps you’d like me to defend or attack Maltastar, but I will henceforth be treading carefully on this blog, especially since I’ve detected a strange syndrome that does not occur elsewhere.
Instead, I’ll take the opportunity to correct my earlier comments concerning Malta Week in Brussels and give credit where credit is due. So I congratulate Sajmint Buzuttin, X’jikluna l-Bajd and Xandru’s daddy for teaming up to utilise the EP funds available to MEPs for such events.
I hear the PN is ever so grateful for the help it got from these three PN stalwarts since it concerns more than just Malta Week and some spare change…
All in all, not bad for a purported red-blue team of EU apparatchiks bent on praising EU governance whenever they can.
Version of political Globish:
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20101020/local/mp-calls-for-measures-to-remove-danger-at-mriehel-bypass
using Private Members Bill to lobby for administrative (as opposed to legislative) action.
Geez.
I just read it now. I can’t believe it. I’m speechless. This means two things:
1. Maltastar people do not know that “tread” and “thread” are two separate words;
2. you were merely taking a jibe at KEB.
Veru tal-biki. (I can’t find an equivalent phrase in English.)
Veru tal-biki. (I can’t find an equivalent phrase in English.)
Fuq Maltastar probabbli jghidu “of the crying” …
“Loose canon”? Maltastar ventures into the field of English idiomatic expression – but of course they got it wrong. A “loose canon” is a promiscuous prelate, member of a cathedral chapter.
The correct phrase is “loose cannon” which means someone with the potential of causing much damage (hmmm). It is derived from the days when warships carried cannon which if not secured properly to the decks could move around in rough weather causing damage. Why can’t they get anything right? (That’s a rhetorical question).
Hey, you’re being too hard on the boys and girls at Maltastar! They also used the idiom ‘split hairs’ in that article.
Hawn ‘gurnalisti’ Maltin li ma’ jafux id-differenza bejn nida u cpar!
“Fil-Polonja:Tmintax il-ruh mietu meta il-vann li kienu fih baqa’ diehel fi trakk minhabba li x-xufier ma’ setax jara bin-NIDA!”
L-ewwel iridu jkunu jafu l-ilsien li tathom ommhom!
Is this what they mean by Globish?
“The firm George Borg Barthet Ltd is providing the Society for the Protection and Care of Animals with a wide variety of Vileda cleaning materials, including brooms, floor cloths, disinfectants, sponges, gloves, buckets and squeezers.” Do animals need to drink fresh fruit juice?
http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:4-f2nJj2PD8J:www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20021017/local/donation-to-spca+squeezer+times+of+malta&cd=1&hl=mt&ct=clnk&gl=mt
“Prosecuting Police Inspector Arthur Mercieca said that last “Sunday, police constables stationed in Zejtun received a call at around 10am from the wife of the man, who expressed her terror that her former husband was banging on her door and window with a squeezer and could repeatedly be heard threatening her because they disagreed on the time the man was supposed to bring their children back after a day at the beach.”
[Daphne -‘From the wife of the man….’. Sigh.]
Hitting a door with a squeezer should not be that frightening.
http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:-vk_35SpqRYJ:www.independent.com.mt/news.asp%3Fnewsitemid%3D108721+squeezer+times+of+malta&cd=4&hl=mt&ct=clnk&gl=mt
In Malta one can do a lot with a ‘squeezer’!
And here are your favourites:
Goaler of German national football team dies in trian hit:
http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:UocmjAOOLJoJ:www.maltastar.com/pages/ms09dart.asp%3Fa%3D5380+goaler&cd=4&hl=mt&ct=clnk&gl=mt
What’s a goaler?
Goaler is in fact a detainer, a prison warder for example. Obviously, it is the wrong word to use here, unless that is the Gestapo or the Stasi are back in business and the German national team does in fact require a goaler to keep the members in check.
[Daphne – I think you mean gaoler.]
Correct!
timesofmalta.com have had some strange writing recently – like when they wrote something along the lines of “a man had a fight with two Arabs” and after I sent them a comment (which wasn’t published) spelling out what it implied, they changed the entire thing.
The wife of the man said to the husband of the woman………….
P.S. I think goaler or goalie is a short version of the word goal-keeper.
[Daphne – It’s goalie in English, goaler in Manglish. I think the only sport where the goalkeeper is called a goaler is Canadian ice hockey. That’s because, in English word-formation, the goaler would be the person who ‘makes’ the goal and not the one who stops it being made.]
And the Maltese word for goal-keeper is … gowler!
Daphne – sorry if this seems pedantic, but in Canadian ice hockey the goalkeeper is called the goalie.
I’m not sure Maltastar’s writing qualifies even as Globish; it might pass for Gibberish, if that were a language.
Just read the transcript of the interview with Loan Nguyen and you will continue to laugh and/or cry.
World news
Interview with Lyon protester
20 October 2010 19:12 This afternoon, Maltastar contacted Loan Nguyen via Skype, a young French journalist (L’Humanité) taking part in the protests in Lyon right now. She gives a glimpse about the accordingly organized marching of young people who have united against future retirement conditions.
Maltastar: “Do you think the reform will pass the parliament?”
Maltastar: “Is it true that protests simply belong to the French culture and education? At least this is the way it is perceived abroad
“… Maltastar contacted Loan Nguyen via Skype, a young French journalist (L’Humanité) taking part …”
Skype is a rather odd name for a journalist, but then so is Byon Jo.
Calling a journalist from L’Humanité to get a balanced view of the subject. Yeah right.
As for “passing the parliament”, it already has (morons). The senate vote is scheduled for tomorrow (perhaps Maltastar’s geniuses don’t know that France has a bicameral system) and it’s expected to be a resounding victory for proposed reform.
This reminds me of a play we studied at school entitled “Richard the Turd”. When contacted, William Shakespeare denied having written it.
Though let’s be fair to your teacher, Richard was quite the Turd in that play.
According to the FKNK you should ask for Charlon and Byon to be investigated – might be fun!
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20101020/local/data-protection-commissioner-asked-to-investigate-blm-and-cabs-filming
Some fun from Maltastar! at least we have a few good laughs. Perhaps Palestina can join in as well.
Palestina will only intervene if you press the Jose Herrera button.
Please stop pointing out their slip-ups else they might sort themselves out and then where would I get my easy laughs from on this bloody rock.
100% spot on. A language is so much more than grammar + vocab.
http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/3ac0810e-d0f0-11df-a426-00144feabdc0.html
[Daphne – That’s the one. Thank you.]
I find the FT article very interesting.
It is very true that often, when using English as a common language for communication with a non native English speaker, you need to take the use of certain phrasal verbs and certain expressions down a notch – (case in point, if I had to use that expression in, say, a letter written to a Chinese company on behalf of an Italian client neither would understand it). In most languages phrasal verbs do not exist and they can be extremely confusing for non-native speakers.
Also sarcasm, irony and nuances such as “not bad” are very British, often not even understood by American-English speakers. Then again, the meaning depends on the particular circumstance and the tone of voice used. If someone asks how you are and you answer “not bad” you actually mean “good” if they ask how they performed the same answer would mean “it sucked”.
Therefore, to avoid confusion, when speaking to non native speakers Maltastar English is best.
Let’s not forget that the primary aim of language is to communicate and the best communicators suit the content and form of what they are writing or saying to their audience – Globish audience needs Globish English.
Maybe they think Gonzi is a tailor because he takes measures.
Their English gets worse and worse every day.
“Gonzi prevaricated and resorted to the usual lawyer speak, masking little of substance.”
I doubt it’s what they meant to say!
So, according to this pearl of wisdom, if good ole Lorry masked little of substance then, by elimination, for all his prevaricating and lawyer doublespeak, most of what he said must have been substance!
So, you’re most probably correct – it certainly is not what they meant to say!
That he was concise?
Hey, our friend Jose Herrera doesn’t know the obvious difference between ‘ratify’ and ‘rectify’! – http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20101021/opinion/adhering-to-international-conventions
Maltastar please note that this is a link and you need to click on it or copy it or copy it into the URL address field of your web browser to get to what I think will please your leader.
http://www.mint.com/blog/trends/hamburger-10122010/?display=wide
Heqq yesterday, Julia Farrugia described someone as getting away Scott free.
Fantastic observation. Truly fascinating.
Globish has nothing to do with maltastarglish.
Last month I attended a conference. I was one of 20,000 there. The official language was Globish. Thank God for that. We all understood each other over five days of intensive seminars and symposia, many interactive.
Globish has now established itself as the international language. Forget Esperanto. This has nowadays become an incongruity.
If the spoken language of the USA had been a derivative of mandarin Chinese or of Bantu, heaven help us. As things turned out, Globish suits us fine.
Maltastarglish is simply incorrect English or, what is commonly known as, broken English.
I fully agree with Anthony. Case in point:
Request to German attorney on behalf of Italian employer of Mr. X: “Mr. XX passed away, are there any filing requirements to comply with under German law”.
Reply received:
Please clarify whether –
1. Mr X was sent away by the company (Globish for fired);
2. left himself (Globlish for resigned);
3. went to work with another company in the same group.
And if you please the Italian director also replied saying –
“so I was not clearly, Mr X is now dead”.
That’s why Globish is necessary. Globish is “Mr X is dead”. Maltastar English is “Mr. X left us” (hallina).
Bil-Malti “Hallina” tfisser “leave us”, u “halliena” tfisser “he left us” ( bil-H rasha maqtugha ma’ ghandniex xi nghidu.)
‘Passed away’ is one of those euphemisms I can’t abide. For chrissake, doesn’t anybody die anymore.
[Daphne – I was about to say that. People who speak real English say ‘died’ not ‘passed away’.]
Din bhal ta’ “an apartment on the Sliema promenade”. Min hu minn hemmhekk jghid “a flat on the front”.
Run a search on The Times (the UK Times) and you will find that “passed away” has been used 465 in the last 12 months – by The Times journalists.
Globish reminds me of another failed project called “Basic English” which failed, because native English speakers could not remember which words not to use.
So it’s time to move forward and adopt a neutral non-national language, taught universally in schools worldwide,in all nations. As a native English speaker, I would prefer Esperanto
Your readers may be interested in the following video at http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=_YHALnLV9XU Professor Piron was a translator with the United Nations in Geneva.
A glimpse of Esperanto can be seen at http://www.lernu.net