The hot new style: wrought iron patterns

The shape itself of Mrs Muscat’s ‘New York for the UN’ dress is beyond horrible – really unflattering. Only a tall, skinny 20-year-old can carry off something that shape, but then a tall, skinny 20-year-old wouldn’t want to wear it.

Whoever came up with the idea of decorating it with a wrought-iron-balcony pattern should be taken out and shot alongside the Law Commissioner.

What is this peculiar Maltese sickness of wanting to use ‘Maltese symbols’ everywhere and anywhere, and most especially in totally inappropriate contexts like this? One aspect of that sickness is believing that something universal, like wrought ironwork, is uniquely Maltese.

Madam, you’ll find wrought iron balconies the world over.

Next time, pick a pinafore dress peppered with old yellow buses interspersed with the faces of corrupt Labour Party donors – and make sure it’s in Malta’s favourite fabric, polyester.