Jokes from the Moviment tal-Progressivi
Did you know that the Labour Party’s website, Maltastar, has an entire section for jokes? Sadly, I’ve only just discovered it. I’d have had a wild time if I’d found it earlier, what with all the racism, prejudice, misogyny and lavatory humour.
You’d expect it to have a section on policy discussion, but no. It’s got jokes. And ‘gossip’ – though I knew about that, because it features prominently.
So, just in case your spirits are low and you need cheering up, here’s a joke which the Labour Party, that coalition of modern progressives led by Joseph Muscat, thinks is highly amusing. The Germans are murderers, the Italians are thieves, the French are adulterers, and the Jews are stingy money-grabbers.
Malta’s foreign policy and diplomacy arre going to be really fascinating after 2013.
Can you imagine Barack Obama – supposedly Muscat’s hero – allowing a joke like that anywhere near his party, still less on its official website?
Let’s be grateful for small mercies, at least they left out the African stereotypes.
A Malta Labour Party joke
Centuries ago, God came down, went to the Germans and said, “I have Commandments that will help you live better lives.”
The Germans ask, “What are Commandments?”
And the Lord says, “Rules for living.”
“Can you give us an example?”
God says, “Thou shalt not kill.”
“Not kill? We’re not interested.”
So God went to the Italians and said, “I have Commandments…”
The Italians wanted an example and the Lord said, “Thou shalt not steal.”
“Not steal? We’re not interested.”
Next the Lord went to the French saying, “I have Commandments…”
The French wanted an example and the Lord said, “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.”
And the French were not interested.
God then went to the Jews and said, “I have Commandments…”
“Commandments,” said the Jews, “How much are they?”
“They’re free.”
“We’ll take 10.”
30 Comments Comment
Leave a Comment
This ‘joke’ didn’t even make me chuckle.
This is stereotype thinking at its best from a party that is all but progressive.
L-injuranza tibqa tiddomina.
And from the “Gossip” section:
The fish synonymous with the Liquid Club in San Gwann passed away this week.
The fish had over 1000 friends of Facebook and was the ever-present symbol of the nightclub for generations.
With its comical eyes and unintended nonchalance with the background of people partying on a busy weekend night, the ‘Liquid fish’ will remain in the memory of thousands of Maltese clubbers.
?
Whoever is going to be the Minister of Foreign Affairs under Labour should start doing his homework now and tell the idiots to stop these types of jokes, if jokes they can be called.
The Labour Party claims to be progressive, but is in reality very conservative.
It claims to be in favour of the worker but its policies are anti-employment.
It claims to be socially just and yet it discriminates openly with regards to sex, class and race. The LP claims to be socialist and yet its policies are blatantly right wing.
That joke is as old as the Ten Commandments! But I think that Maltastar fans are not able to see the “joke”.
This joke is really a good one. You made my day. Am still laughing.
Will you still be laughing in 2013?
Ok, definitely agree about being quite improper, but I actually found it hilarious.
It has two expressions; indigestion and crack-brained.
Some things will never change. Worryingly, I suspect that this wasn’t a thoughtless addition to the joke section, but a joke they are pretty sure will satisfy the mental desires (if any) of the core supporters.
P.S. Re the Liquid Fish… it’s sad that she died… but there was no need to put her on MaltaStar either… It ruined her legacy.
This is one of their best jokes so far.
http://maltastar.com/pages/r1/ms10dart.asp?a=13761
Now that their pet theory has blown up in their faces, they’re demanding to know why the camera was never fixed.
If they really want to know who was involved, they could probably do worse than look inside their own ranks. Isn’t that where the alleged mastermind came from?
I was a Balzan councillor in 2007 and can confirm that the camera was removed because it had not been effective in curbing bad parking practices and vandalism in the square.
It had not been installed to guard the bank which, I expect, had its own security system and surely did not depend on the Local Council to provide it.
Contrary to the impression given by Maltastar, the camera in question was not a video one but took still photos every few minutes.
“Did you know that the Labour Party’s website, Maltastar, has an entire section for jokes? Sadly, I’ve only just discovered it.”
I, on the other hand, have yet to discover a section that is not a joke.
Daphne, I have just heard Ben Ali is heading for Malta.
Apparently he changed his mind when he found out about the dire economic situation here in Malta. Apparently he’s going to France instead where the gas is cheaper.
In the spirit of the joke above, he’s probably coming here to meet Ali Baba.
No, this is definitely more hilarious:-
“Jien qed nerga’ nikteb lill-Grupp kollu – issa jekk min illeakja l-email fi Frar li ghadda jrid jerga jaghmel l-istess jara hu!
Kif kellu l-wicc kull membru tal-Kabinett jiehu zieda ta’ 600 Ewro fix-xahar bhala Membru parliamentari over and above iz-zieda qawwija ta’ Ministru/PS waqt li jaf li l-MPs l-ohra mhux qed jehduha – mhux ghal xahar, mhux ghal sena, ghal sentejn u nofs.
U mbaghad jigu jimponuha issa b’dal-mod biex ma jidhrux koroh huma. Il-PM lanqas kuragg ilaqqa’ l-Grupp ma kellu. Dak leadership. Imbasta Gonzi PN! Ikun jaf il-frontbench li kulmin tassew ihobb lill-PN u lill-pajjiz se jistmerrhom ghal dejjem. Imisskom tisthu!!!”
[Daphne – Yes, I thought it was. Dr Farrugia was upset because a private email to the group was leaked YET AGAIN. Excuse me? Does he honestly think that a couple of people I could mention (but won’t) are the sort to maintain confidentiality if they think that they have something over gONziPn? Jean-Pierre Farrugia might be very naive, so perhaps I should explain that when people are able to cause damage to somebody they wish to cause damage, they don’t care if they bring down a ‘friend’ as well, as long as nobody can identify them as the culprit.]
Is our pathetic leadership aware that all around the world Malta is being implicated with harbouring Tunisia’s ousted dictator? Of course not, Dr Tonio Borg is probably way too busy this evening meeting the Gift of Life and the newly set-up anti-divorce brigade.
Is the pathetic alternative leadership aware of what the events in Tunisia mean for tourism in the Mediterranean? They’re too busy making hollow promises without explaining how they are going to pay for it all.
Joaeph Muscat probably hoped that some desperate vegetable hawker would set himself on fire in Freedom Square, and that this would lead to the prime minister fleeing the country in a private jet, headed for France, whereupon he would have himself declared the New Ruler of Malta.
Too bad it didn’t happen.
Why is there a section for jokes when the whole site is a big one?
Why are they bothering with a Jokes section? I find the More Leader section sufficiently entertaining.
Talking about “leader”, their deputy leader is highly entertaining too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DJ34MOu_yQ
Maybe they have been watching clips of Bernard Manning on youtube and ripping off his act.
Do you think that the person who posted the “joke” online on the Labour website would have understood how very politically-incorrect it is?
It wouldn’t make a difference either way. If they think it is amusing, then it must be so.
Maltastar’s function is to reassure the elves, not to reach out to the unconverted.
I salute Dr P Farrugia. He has guts…..is there still hope inside the PN? Not like Dr Franco Debono the defender of the south, as his mouth has been bought and the severe environmental problems of the south get worse.