Super-sleuth Anglu tal-iljunfant does it again

Relaxing mood of Anglu sitting on the same bench where late princess Diana sat at the Taj Mahal in Agra, India (caption and picture taken from www.anglufarrugia.com)

After the thrilling whodunit of corruption at the Freeport and it-tifel ta’ Lorry Sant, here comes ex-police superintendent Anglu Farrugia to prove to us once again why he was promoted through the ranks of Lorry Pullicino’s police force.

Read this piece from Maltastar, the Labour Party ‘news website’ set up by Labour Party leader and future Maltese prime minister Joseph Muscat, when he was even more callow than he is today.

Hundreds were paid to vote PN! – Maltastar

Labour MP Dr Anglu Farrugia asked police to investigate a report containing detailed information of how hundreds of persons were allegedly paid money, or given political favours, to vote for the Nationalist Party in the 8 March general election.

On Friday, Dr Farrugia presented a report to Police Commissioner John Rizzo, and asked him to investigate information detailing how votes were bought before the march election. The Nationalist Party won the 2008 general election by a slim margin of 1,500 votes over Labour.

Dr Farrugia, a former police superintendent, told journalists that he prepared the report after many persons contacted him giving details indicating that the general election was “dominated by the buying of hundreds of votes.” He did not divulge details of the report presented to the Police Commissioner, but he revealed that at least two government ministers are amongst those mentioned in the vote buying cases.

The report includes details such as the amounts paid to individuals, and specific political favours granted to others in the last few days before the general election, to make them vote for the Nationalist Party, the Labour MP said. The sums allegedly paid to buy votes range from €70 to €150, and in one case a bonus of €1,500 was paid. The report also gives specific details of government departments were police can find documents related to the allegations.

“There were hundreds of votes involved. Right now I cannot say anything else. I gave all information to the police. I received the information from persons who at first were afraid, but then felt the need to approach me and give me the information, which I now presented to police.”

Dr Farrugia called on police to carry out a rigorous investigation. “I have no reason to doubt the Police Commissioner’s work. Thus I leave all in his hands now.”

Miskin il-paraventu. Il-veru kaz. It’s a good thing he’s a fairly stoical sort of chap, or he would be reaching for the Valium at the sound of the approaching footsteps of yet another politician on a mission.

At this rate, he is going to have to set up a Political Crimes Unit, designed purely to keep happy politicians making one fatuous report after another.

Anglu tal-iljunfant must have been one hell of a police inspector. It’s taken him just two weeks to research each and every one of those allegations that ‘hundreds of people were paid to vote PN’. He must have been on Red Bull and espressos for the duration (we daren’t suggest anything stronger; he is a former policeman and current lawyer-politician, after all).

Oh dear, poor Anglu. What he is saying is this: that ‘hundreds’ of Labour supporters valued their Labour support so poorly, and were so unmoved by the bzonn ta’ bidla, that they sold their vote for EUR70 – that’s Lm30 in old money. That’s how much they rated the prospect of Sant as prime minister. If I were Anglu tal-iljunfant, I wouldn’t shout about it too much.

Maybe Anglu should try giving one of his ‘famous ferocious speeches’ about this one, and see if it helps him pip the Poodle (capital P, now) to the post.

The Malta Shipyards Song Contest

Yes, there really is such a thing. It was announced yesterday by means of a little piece in the ‘social and personal’ column of The Times. Here it is.

The Malta Shipyards Sports and Social Club is organising the 19th edition of the Malta Shipyards Singers’ Contest, a festival for Maltese singers in aid of Ir-Razzett tal-Ħbiberija (Park of Friendship) in Marsascala. The contest will be held over two evenings, the first on June 6 and the final on July 12. Singers taking part may sing works by Maltese authors and composers. These songs need not be new, however these would not have been used during the 18th edition (2007). There will be five age categories. Application forms and rules of the contest can be obtained from Nicholas Balzan, Club Secretary, Malta Shipyards, Cospicua (tel: 2399 2069), and from [email protected]. The closing date for applications is April 11. The club is also launching its official website www.maltashipyardssocial.com.

This being a shipyard song contest, perhaps it is the perfect occasion for the redoubtable Mary Spiteri to give another sparkling rendition of My Heart Will Go On, the theme song from the film Titanic, starring Kate Winslett and Leonardo di Caprio. The last time she did that was at Alfred Sant’s final mass meeting before the 2003 general election. In a moment of ill-advised crassness, the lady dedicated the song to Eddie Fenech Adami – hoping, she said to the screeching crowd, that he ‘would sink like the Titanic.’ That was a memorable day for her scrapbook.

Sadly, we don’t have the YouTube video in question (is there one?), but we can provide you with some other Mary Spiteri entertainment here.

The coronation of the Poodle

‘I anoint you leader of the Malta Labour Party; take this wig and wear it as a symbol of your sovereignty.’

Somebody posted this amusing comment on one of the threads:

“Perhaps on the day of the formal installation of the Poodle-Mexxej, they’ll hold a coronation ceremony at Mile End, in which Sant will solemnly remove his wig and place it upon the head of the Anointed One.”

God, I laughed so much at this little vignette that I ended up with a keyboard full of green tea.

Lots of you noticed from the ‘brazzuletta u arlogg’ photo that the Poodle-Mexxej is suffering from the effects of – how should I put it? – a little thatch-thinning. There are lots of unfortunate jokes about whether he’ll be emulating his mentor in this department, too. So we’ve found some suitable models that might just serve the purpose.

Oh, and by the way – liberal use of hair gel causes hair loss. Silvio Parnis, beware.

George Abela has a nightmare