Dispatches from the hen-house

Published: March 8, 2008 at 7:29pm

The leader of the Labour Party addresses a mass meeting at Mile End to announce a rebha fenomenali ghal Partit Laburista

The leader of the Labour Party addresses a mass meeting at Mile End to announce a rebha fenomenali ghal Partit Laburista

1. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it saw an angry dentist.

2.Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it heard the sound of teenagers booing.

3. Why did the chicken cross the road?
That wasn’t a chicken. That was Silvio Parnis, rushing to Tarxien primary school with an armful of plastic roses.

4. Why did the chicken cross the road?
This is what I mean when I talk about korruzzjoni lampanti. The chicken did not cross the road. The road crossed the chicken. Let’s call the press and inform the paraventu.

5. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because somebody offered him a kafe jew tnejn.

6. Why did the chicken cross the road?
I am morally convinced that it wasn’t the chicken that crossed the road. It was a peacock called Jason.

7. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To run away from his past.

8. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because l-iljun tal-bidla was in hot pursuit.

9. Why did the chicken cross the road?
It needed to find a telephone box because it doesn’t carry a mobile phone.

10. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it had no regrets and needed to find some.

11. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Bir-rispett kollu, that wasn’t a chicken. That was a misprint.

12. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To save Charlon Gouder from a cock-fight.

13. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To buy some drugs from a Super One journalist’s boyfriend.

14. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To help Joe Mizzi strike oil.

15. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To avoid being mown down by il-kowc tal-bidla.

16. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Biex isib ftit bajd, ghax m’ghandhux.

79 Comments Comment

  1. C Gauci says:


  2. pfs says:

    *GUFFAW* Stop it, Daphne, you’re killing me!

  3. Chris says:

    I lol’d.

  4. Kathryn Z. says:

    With two hours to go, the pressure in my head is unbearable. While our local political channels on TV feature the best of the best from local artists.People like me, in the meantime, are listening silently to the crowd cheering and labour-worshiping outside…Dear me, nobody has won yet, so let’s keep our round Mediterranean bottoms back in our homes, shall we at least for tonight?

  5. me says:

    Mod….shouldn’t these thoughts (I cannot call them blogs), that is all the entries from the start of the website be published in book form?
    I have just read some worrying entries on the 12:oo write up…come on boys and girls, these are only half day numbers. Actually they reflect nothing. Where I voted, I stood in the queue for two and a half hours.
    Keep it up (excuse the pun Charlon). Do not count THEIR chickens before they are hatched (excuse the pun again Alfred).

    [Moderator – Maybe we should so that AS can buy it from Agenda, as he doesn’t like the Internet.]

  6. A Jones says:

    Super One has just announced that the voting deadline has been extended till 11pm! Is this true? I didn’t hear it on any other channel? Are they trying to mislead us yet again?

  7. me says:

    Voting hours have been extended by one hour.

  8. A Jones says:

    Ok TVM has just confirmed this extension? Should this put our minds at rest you think?

  9. me says:

    Sorry for the way you feel Kathryn Z. Listen to me…relax…close your eyes and count sheep. DO NOT COUNT CHICKENS. They are a health hazard.

  10. Paul Spiteri says:

    From The Times

    Saturday, 8th March 2008 – 20:12CET

    Voting time extended by one hour
    Voting time has been extended by one hour and polling stations will be closing at 11 p.m. instead of 10, the Electoral Commission said.

    The decision was taken after queues built up in several localities, notably those where elections are also being held for local councils.

    A spokesman for the commission said the extension applies to all polling stations. Anybody still in the queue at 11 p.m. will still be allowed to vote.

  11. maria says:

    Voting time has been extended to 11pm. Says on times.com

  12. C Gauci says:

    Kathryn: Lejbour CROWD worshipping?!? They DARE?!? Can you indicate where? (No pressure to reveal your location but here at Labour [sic!!!] Avenue Naxxar I haven’t heard anything so far?)

    Jeezus my head is ok but my neck and shoulders are so stiff…

    Insomma aktar ma jhawdu aktar se jiehdu daqqa!

  13. Carmel Scicluna says:

    … ahjar Alla jtini mitt pacenzja … hawn ir-rahal (sitt distrett) qed jghidu li rebhu wkoll l-MLP … u n-nies ghadhom dehlin l-Iskola ta’ San Bastjan biex jivvutaw, xita u mhux xita …. ahjar Alla jtini mitt pacenzja … imma nahseb ahjar inhalluhom jifirhu b’din l-illuzjoni sabiha … dawn nies imdorrijin jisimghu il-gideb sabih … jien minghalija l-Partnerxipp ukoll kien rebah u ccelebra bil-kbir, kif jixraq, l-isbah illuzjoni …

  14. laura v says:

    What’s this with Jason and his tiff with the laghaba this am?

  15. D.M. says:

    thanks daphne! i’m surrounded by chicken where i live..(should be renamed ‘chicken ville’ instead of the village’s current name) you kept me from going insane:) on another note..can someone please explain WD* has sant called a meeting for? oh sorry i forgot chickens can’t read the time..therefore a chicken can’t see that the voters still have an hour and half to vote

  16. Panther5 says:

    Voting time extended to 23.00 due to a build up of queues at polling stations .

    All ( PN Voters ) are urged to go to vote asap

  17. Amanda Mallia says:

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    Biex isib ftit bajd, ghax m’ghandhux! (Ghal-bejta, taf – qabel xi hadd jghid kemm jiena hamalla, tal-misthija, mit-trobbija, DNA hazina, ecc, ecc)

  18. Zoolie says:


  19. me says:

    C Gauci..
    I would suggest the same to you.
    Sit down….take a deep breath…relax….count sheep.
    Chickens are a health hazard, they can land you in deep trouble.
    Especially if it is a cock. Oops excuse me Charlon.

  20. jags says:

    Lifted from maltastar – sorry to have to throw cold water on all those hoping this was a first sign of victory :-(

    Labour and the Nationalist Party will be taking their political billboards off the streets by Sunday morning.

    As agreed between the two major political parties, billboards and posters of the March 8 general election campaign are expected to be removed by not later than Saturday night.

    Labour started removing the billboards on Saturday morning, while the Nationalist Party was expected to start dismantling its billboards later in the same day.

  21. C says:

    Prosit Daph, love the site. Please consider keeping it up post election results… otherwise I’ll be suffering from serious withdrawal symptoms :))

  22. C Gauci says:

    Jags, sorry to stay to my point but you didn’t get that news from the most reliable source ever didn’t you? ;)

  23. V says:

    oh jags no!!! :(

  24. Paul Spiteri says:

    Does anyone know anything about this?


    UPDATE: Police arrest Mepa, MTA officials

    maltastar.com team Sat, 08 March 2008

    Top officials at the Malta Environment and Planning Authority and the Malta Tourism Authority were in the last days detained by the Police in relation to the issuing of a controversial development permit.

    maltastar.com is informed that the Police are conducting serious investigations on the operation of top Mepa officials in relation to a particular permit. The officials being interrogated are from Mepa, particularly the DCC board.

    This e-newspaper is also informed that the Police investigated officials from the tourism authority.

    In the next days there will be further developments on the case. It is not being excluded that persons will be arraigned to court early this week

  25. me says:

    laura v…
    From what I heard yesterday night. Gamblers couldn’t find someone supporting the chicken farm for bets. I’m talking big money here.

  26. A Jones says:

    I would be all too happy to hit the streets clad in my nationalist gear tomorrow but as pessimistic as it seems I don’t see that happening because ignorance is bliss and it seeems to reign even amongst many of my peers (30+) who study and work abroad and yet voted Labour. And to think that I flew to Malta just to vote for our entry into the EU for these people since I, a holder of a British passport, didn’t need to do it for myself! It makes me irate!

  27. Matthew Muscat says:

    uuuh that is naughty!
    ….so we need a special laugh!


    We want more! We want more! We want more!

  28. Lorna says:

    Brillanti :) We’re gathered round the TV and this website and having a good laugh :)

  29. A Jones says:

    Matthew I don’t know what you’re drinking but whatever it is I’d make sure I get more of it before tomorrow because you’re going to need that sense of humour if the Government changes!

  30. C Gauci says:

    OK the extension was also confirmed on maltarightnow. I don’t know who has his finger in this… maybe the lejbour see that their ‘tesserati’ have been letting them down and have become enlightened and realised that this government has been the one doing the most good to all the population and all the country? Perhaps they forgot that chickens sleep by dusk and it’d be useless to go further into the night to extend the polling time?

  31. Just me says:

    Please urge anyone you know, who may not have yet voted, to go and vote…and to vote pn!! Check with your friends/family whether they have voted and inform them that voting will go on till 11pm. Anyone in the que at 11pm will be allowed to vote… Let us make this last effort to get more votes. Every single vote counts!!!!

  32. Genome says:

    I heard that the voting was extended by an hour because there were too many chickens having serious problems with writing their numbers “4” & “7” … it might yet be extended further because they will also need assitance in leaving the roost after dark ! Thank goodness we still use ID cards, next election will probably see us exhibiting our DNA profile !

  33. D Vella says:

    Hey All,

    Don’t be so down as yet. I still beleive that the PN has a chance of winning this election. Lejber always inflate expectations for their supporters. They are always doing that!! REMEMBER the song – The only way is UP ! They don’t have any alternatives left, and if they loose this one…………well they will have to rename the MLP to Malta Losers Party

  34. Chris says:

    Lol let them start gathering dont worry. Issa on monday it won’t only be Gonzi that is ‘laughing at them’

  35. Matthew says:

    For whoever thought the surcharge cut was a good idea: Goldman Sachs have just said that the price of a barrel of oil could go up to USD200 if there’s a significant growth in US GDP.

  36. me says:

    Let’s not count chickens, but a big screen has just been set up near the stamperija .

  37. George says:

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    to see if he could “ibazwar xi haga” with the EU.

  38. George says:

    Well, well ,well the chickens and peacocks are coming home to roost.
    Due to the relatively high percentage of absenteeism at the polls the likely hood is that tomorrow MALTA tisbah taht shaba sewda socjalist.Almenu this time we will not experience again the episode of Run Rabbit Run on our screens .
    Back to the bad old times.X’taghmel
    This is what the Maltese gemgem planned , they have had it too good for too long.
    The snag is that the people who were at the helm in those far off days are all there and more over they have accumulated a lot of pentup hatred and hdura towards their counterparts.
    Lord do have mercy !!!!!!

  39. Carmel Scicluna says:

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Is-serduq qamitlu l-ghalla
    ghax lemah patata
    fi Triq Testaferrata
    mar inaqqarha … u tghalla!

  40. Maria Scerri says:

    We speak tomorrow 1pm …

  41. maria says:

    I definetely am going to switch off the pc, switch off the cell phone and retire to bed with a trashy book. Can’t take this any more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So why a big screen near stamperija???? To show us Fredu entering Castille??????? Poor Eddie, having to sworn him in. I pity the man!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  42. me says:

    Don’t be so pessimistic. The darkest moment of the night is just before the first sun rays cross the horizon.

  43. MS says:

    University students will eat roast chicken this week!

  44. Twanny says:

    So the MLP are taking a page out of Hitler’s book. They’re sending their strong arm folks out into the streets to celebrate before the vote counting is over. Hitler also sent his brownshirts into the streets and stole the election for chancellor. My, my – history does repeat itself.

    I wish I were in Malta instead of faraway Canada right now. Those who oppose the MLP and want to save Malta’s future need to go out and vote against the MLP ….. now not later.

  45. Amanda Mallia says:

    Well, thank heavens there’s some sense of humour out there after all. I was beginning to think there wasn’t any.

  46. G. Spiteri says:

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Because he was struggling to get into ‘open’ Maghtab!!!!

  47. Twanny says:

    Well, let’s try it one more time.

    Alfred and the MLP look like they are borrowing a page out of Hitler’s election management manual. Send out your strong arm men (remember Hitler’s Brownshirts?) into the streets to claim victory before the votes have counted.

    To paraphrase the old saying goes … Now is the time for all good people to come to the aid of the nation. If you haven’t voted yet and you value your liberty and your future – it’s time to go out and vote AGAINST THE MLP – Now!!

  48. Michael C says:

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    To ask the other chickens how come nothing was deducted from his water and electricity bill. Jahassra!

  49. C Gauci says:

    U ejja guys I can’t help but keep feeling that this is another lejbour prop-up.

    THEY know who their supporters are, they’ve got it all. Why do you think they’re the equivalent of Stalinists? They saw that their ‘fidili’ supporters somewhat didn’t make it and they’re trying to give them an hour’s chance.

    Let’s keep this place a positive one. Please. That’s what we who know what is right, deserve, don’t we?

  50. Amanda Mallia says:

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    Because it was scared that somebody would pull its fake hairdo off!

  51. Kathryn Z. says:

    And with another hour to go, the crowd here in Qormi is still “strong” but it grew quite silent. Yet excitement is in the air for the so-much-awaited “boxes”, which are still inside of the buildings…

    45 minutes to go, till then I shall be counting sheep. Ps. I hope everyone manages to cast in their votes…

  52. George says:

    I have just been informed that yesterday an Air Malta flight was delayed and thus landed after midnight because the lights on the runway were sabotaged alias switched off .
    Is it just hearsay / false rumour?
    Can any body confirm or deny this latest saga.
    More over today inspite that, as was to be envisaged, there was a long queue of cars waiting to cross over to Gozo to go and vote on the sister island only two Gozo Channel ships were functioning Usually when the interchannel traffic is heavy Gozo Channel utilizes three boats.

    [Moderator – It’s a rumour – they did pick up their voting documents.]

  53. amrio says:

    I’ve just heard that at Sta.Venera, dear Jason was mobbed by the Labourite crowd when he said it could be that Labour do not win the election… Can someone confirm this rumour?

  54. Amanda Mallia says:

    The Vella sisters’ “admirer” is noticeably absent from the blog this evening. I wonder if he’s hatching up (excuse the pun)something at the glasshouse.

  55. DNA-Dejjem Nirbhu Ahna says:

    Just heared from a pn insider that pn is very optimistic

  56. Geraldine says:

    Even the Times of Malta has just reported that:

    Parties remove billboards as voting continues

    The political parties have started removing their election billboards from the streets as voting for the general election enters its final two hours. Billboards have in the past been targeted by rival supporters celebrating their party’s victory.

  57. Amanda Mallia says:

    Why did the chicken corss the road?
    To get away before someone thinks of cooking it in the Crosscraft kitchen

  58. C Gauci says:

    That’s it now. We can only pray for the best.

  59. C Gauci says:

    Daphne, pls last update was more than 4 hours ago. Pls don’t leave just now? Important things might be coming up!

  60. Kenneth says:

    17. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    “Tmissnix, jekk joghgbok” it clucked when asked.

  61. bob says:

    Q: Why does the MLP call it’s plan for the future ‘Pjan’
    A: Coz ‘pjan’ means flat, and their contribution is as flat as a pancake!

  62. K Zammit says:

    93% turnout. Still in with a chance despite looking bleaker now!

  63. Simon says:

    History repeating itself, back to 1971 It’s a very sad day. 10, 12, 13 district down.

    Turnout drops to 93%, lowest since 1971
    Turnout in yesterday’s general election reached 93 percent, three percentage points below the level reached in 2003, according to official figures.

    The last time turnout was so low was in 1971, when 92.90 percent of voters actually voted. That election saw the Nationalist government losing by a slim margin to Labour.

    A district-by-district breakdown shows most districts having had a turnout of 94 percent but the 12th district (Mellieha St Paul’s Bay) had the lowest turnout at 91 percent followed by 92 percent in the 10th district (Sliema) and the 13th district (Gozo).

    The 12th district also had the largest number of uncollected voting documents.

  64. DNA-Dejjem Nirbhu Ahna says:

    its going to be a tight one

  65. DNA-Dejjem Nirbhu Ahna says:

    It is true that a big screen was set up near stamperija?

  66. Simon says:

    On Super 1, the bearer of bad news, Prof Edward Scicluna, has just predicted a Labour victory but cannot confirm it. He talked about a ‘trend’. 1996, here we go again.

    Can’t beleive this is happening, when things were going so smoothly!!

  67. Simon says:

    2.5% decrease in voters x 317,000 eligible voters = 8,000 votes already lost out of a previous majority of 12,000. All that Labour needed are 2,000 votes switching from PN to MLP, which is not a big deal, in order to lose the remining 4,000 majority.

    I can’t handle this. Off to sleep to forget everthing. Wake me up in 5 years time.

  68. Simon says:

    Again, can’t beleive that we’re going to have Jason’s smirk all over us for the next 5 years.

  69. hopeful says:

    don’t assume that only pn lost votes, probably mlp lost at least 3000 of these 8000 votes.
    Besides there are now 17000 new votes, from which pn is hoping to get a big chunk, let’s say 9000 or 10000

    I believe pn still has a chance, it will be very close

    Besides there will be those who switch votes on both sides

    sleep tight

  70. Simon says:

    Can’t share your hope. Sorry. I really do hope that I am dead wrong. Whenever voter turnoat drops, it’s the governing party which loses. Look at the drop from 1996 to 1998, and that was only a 1% drop. Now we are talking of a 2.5% drop!!

  71. Joseph Abela says:

    Why did the chicken cross over the other side of the road?

    To grab a plastic Parnis red rose!!!!!

  72. Corinne Vella says:

    Oh, lighten up. At least thre’s still Emy Bezzina to provide some colour, whatever happens.

  73. Daphne Caruana Galizia says:

    Simon, you can’t make such straightforward comparisons. There are too many variables at play. The result of 1998 wasn’t affected only by lower voter turn-out, but by a swing back to the Nationalists of those who voted Labour to have cash registers removed, or because of ‘corruption scandals’ that turned out to be nothing. In other words, these people had regrets, unlike the person they voted for in 1996. The low turn-out yesterday is likely to have been the result of disaffection and disillusionment with BOTH parties. I have an open mind on the matter, but I’m still the kind of person who likes to prepare myself for the worst just in case. And I look on the bright side: a Labour government will give me more to write about.

  74. batman says:

    Is it true that Jason was mobbed by a group of people yesterday? Anyone can confirm please. Such happenings are not healthy but I’m very curious what triggered these people to do so!!!

  75. losthope says:

    I’m afraid PN has lost the election.If its true Edward Scicluna has predicted a Labour victory I think he never fails . I hope it will not be a landslide victory. I’m so sorry for Dr Lawrence Gonzi.I hope MLP will be government to all the Maltese

  76. Carmel Scicluna says:

    Hbieb: tatux kas il-hafna xnighat li hawn bhalissa. Qed ifaqqsu kull minuta!

  77. Marie says:

    true …….. a Labour government will definitely offer much more to write about and keep us entertained. I am still trying to hope against hope that I will get my entertainment from other sources though :( aaaaaaaaah

  78. Rebecca says:

    If a labour government is elected,(not that the thought particularly amuses me, of course!!)we can rest assured that the entertainment will be flowing freely. The sad part is that Malta will be paying the price for the next five years. So for those people who have decided not to do their civic duty and cast their vote,they have five years, should the result elect a Labour government, to regret their actions and possibly ponder over the more important issues that one should have considered when voting for his/her country.

  79. Joe Borg says:

    Alla maghna…at the risk of sounding as though I’m counting our chickens before they hatch…..let’s talk about Doctor Alfred Sant…..Do you know that the MLP wins all elections in which ALfred does not participate……EU reps elections and the Local Council Elections……then MLP looses all elections in which Alfred partipates bar 1996…………Referendum, 1998, 2003 and now 2008. The Labour Party should have run circles around the Nationalist Party and yet thanks to AF …..it has earned itself another 5 years in Opposition.

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