The Lion of Change is not bisexual
We have our first libel suit, and what a surprise – it’s from Michael Falzon, the studious kid who was never allowed out into the street to play with all the rest of us hamalli children who lived on the block. Michael and his brother Silvio would spend their free time studying hard in the grocer’s shop owned by their rabidly Mintoffjan father, who was determined that his kids would grow up to be better than the tal-pepe kids rolling around like peasants in the gutter and chasing each other with stones. If you want some insight into what makes Michael Falzon so obsessively driven in that ‘I’ve got it in for you all and I’m going to get to the top to get my revenge’ way, I’m the one who has it.
Michael would sit there listening to his father praise Dom Mintoff to his tal-pepe clientele when they popped round every afternoon to collect their hobza and ‘ration’. This was in Stella Maris Parish, the most chi-chi part of Sliema – so you can imagine that it didn’t make him the most popular grocer around. And neither did it do anything to help Michael integrate into the street-gangs that were de rigeur and which included all sorts, including a lovely boy called Etienne who suffered from a wasting disease and who let us hitch fast and dangerous rides down the hill on the back of his wheelchair.
My mother would come home and say, ‘Look at Michael and Silvio – they’re always studying and doing their homework, and you’re always fighting in the street or running around somewhere.’ Now I tell her, ‘You were right, ma –had I been a good girl and studied harder, jahasra, I might have ended up deputy leader of the Labour Party.’
Apparently, Michael Falzon is not bisexual. Well, I don’t think any of us ever had any doubts about that. Bring it on, Michael ta’ Muse – I’m going to love every minute of this one.
And here’s a link to one of his best performances yet:
The Lion of Change has a fertility thermometer
Michael Falzon went down to Hal-Qormi yesterday to have another good shout: ‘It-termometru qed jimmarka Lejber!’ If anyone has the clip, please send it to me immediately. I’m sure you’re generous enough to share it with others.
Maybe he was seeing the red dot at the end.
It looks like this man’s ambition is to elbow his boss out of the way and become party leader himself. I trust that the alarm-bells are ringing already at the Glass HQ. Falzon, as if you hadn’t noticed already, models himself on Dom Mintoff, with all his vulgarity and crassness and few of the brains.
If Sant loses this election, he’s definitely got to be put out to pasture. And for the sake of us all, the Labour Party has to choose a decent, stable and acceptable leader, preferably somebody with a normal home background, instead of yet another ghazeb or weirdo without a wife in the picture. You may think that this is an unimportant detail, but all you have to do is consider how important a part of Lawrence Gonzi’s arsenal Kate is, and you will see what I mean.
Let’s put it this way. If Labour had been sensible enough to pick somebody like George Abela, instead of the current fright-show, we wouldn’t be in this constant state of tension today. Imagine it and sigh with regret: a straight contest between George Abela and Lawrence Gonzi, two men with remarkably similar profiles and images, two sound, solid and regular guys. It would have been bliss compared to this nightmare fight-to-the-death between Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker.