Hawn, x’ismek!
Yesterday evening, I went out to run some errands and got called ‘Hawn, x’ismek’ twice in the space of 15 minutes, once by a tip-grabber in a parking-lot and the other time by a butcher’s boy aged around 30. With the first incident, I ignored the man and kept going, tip be damned. There’s no way I’m going to tip somebody who’s just called me ‘Hawn, x’ismek.’ The second time, I couldn’t ignore the person doing it because he was standing there with a joint of meat in his hands and asking me how I wanted it cut. I badly wanted to say, in my best frosty tones, ‘Excuse me? That’s no way to address people’, but because it is one of my regular butcher’s shops and the butcher’s boy was behaving like a lout only because his boss was upstairs, I thought better of it. The other butcher’s boy, who seems to have a little bit more emotional intelligence, twigged that something hadn’t gone down too well, because he thanked me four times on my way out and offered to carry my bags to the car. But still I was seething. X’ismek, indeed. It will be some time before I can bring myself to go back there.
That got me thinking about how our rude and discourteous forms of address are a reflection of our rude and discourteous way of interacting with others. We address people as ‘hawn, x’ismek’ and refer to them as ‘dak ir-ragel’ or ‘dik il-mara’. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve stood in a shop or office only to have two of the staff discuss my requirements, in full view and within earshot, by saying: “Dik il-mara trid X. X’se nghidilha, hi?”
But ‘x’ismek’ really takes the biscuit. I drove home trying to think of the English equivalent, but couldn’t come up with anything. ‘Hey, you’ doesn’t quite do it. ‘Hey, wotsit’ or ‘’Hey, thingie” are closer to the mark, but I don’t think anybody speaks like that outside the schoolyard because – just as within the schoolyard – it is seen not as a way of attracting somebody’s attention but as a challenge to a fight.
I have just about begun to tolerate ‘hawn hi’. I suffer it in silence and tell myself that, if it’s an abbreviation of ‘ruhi’ then it’s just the equivalent of the northern English ‘love’, which somehow sounds so much nicer and friendlier, while ‘hi’ sounds like disparaging condescension. When I was growing up, lots of people said ‘ruhi qalbi’ or just plain ‘qalbi’ and that has the same effect on the one addressed as ‘love’ does – it sounds warm, rather than hostile and antagonistic. If ‘hi’ is an abbreviated form of ‘hija’, then it would be the equivalent of ‘bro’, and I can’t see why it’s used for girls and women. It’s ridiculous and offensive.
I really believe that the abject refusal to address people as ‘sinjur’, ‘sinjura’ and ‘sinjorina’ – or, in the case of children – ‘qalbi’ – is part of the rot engendered by the chippy class-wars of Mintoff and Mifsud Bonnici. Housewives were all ‘sinjura’ to the shopkeepers of my childhood, and their husbands were ‘sinjur’. ‘Now people are damned if they’re going to address the woman standing in front of them and asking for a joint of meat as ‘sinjura’. It’s either ‘x’ismek’ or ‘hi’. They’d rather drink ink than address the man who’s just stopped to buy €300 of car-parts as ‘sinjur’. And the petrol-pump attendant can’t conceive of a world in which the young lady who’s just asked him for €40 of diesel is addressed as ‘sinjorina’. We are a bunch of savages.
It’s not a class issue. It’s a national issue. I’ve noticed that even people in public life are behaving like this, and because they set an example, standards are slipping even among those who were brought up to know better. If you spend your days surrounded by people who speak and behave coarsely, some of it rubs off. The manners of somebody I know quite well have slipped noticeably over the past few years because he spends his long working day surrounded by people with no manners at all, or rather too few. He has adopted forms of speech which he never used before, and the other day I saw him holding his knife like a pen and examining each forkful of food before he put it into his mouth. I was really quite taken aback, because it brought home to me just what a deleterious influence the lack of manners of the multitude has on the manners of the few. It’s not surprising that the courtesy and common civility I remember from my childhood have evaporated so quickly. I don’t think either my mother or my grandmothers were ever addressed by the butcher’s boy as ‘Hawn x’ismek’, and if they had been, all hell would have broken loose and that would have been the end of that.
This brings me to one of my pet hates: the way people from that kind of background insist on addressing old people by their first name, thereby equating old age with childhood. How dare they? It shows such great lack of respect. You hear the staff at old people’s homes and hospitals: ‘Hawn, Tony’; ‘Isma, Mary; ‘Trid tiekol, Margaret?’ How insufferable. These are people who come from a generation in which they would have been Mary only to their family and friends, and Mrs Grech to the rest of the world. They find it deeply offensive and degrading to be addressed as Mary by the person washing the floors or the one administering their pills, but because they feel so vulnerable, they say nothing. They don’t know how to handle the situation because they grew up in a country in which people knew not to address others by their first name unless given express permission to do so, and then they found that this was no longer the case.
I suppose we should be grateful that unlike the French and the Italians we don’t have a polite form, because everyone would be offending everyone else by tutoyer-ing away. The interesting thing is that, even though many Maltese people speak very fluent Italian, I’ve heard few people use the polite form in contexts where it is the only acceptable thing. We meet somebody for the first time and immediately it’s tu this and tu that, and we don’t even pick up on the way the other person bridles each time we say it. In embarrassing situations like that, and with my rubbish Italian, I press on trying to rectify the situation with tact, addressing the perplexed Italian in question using the polite form. And guess what? The Maltese persons I’m with think that I’ve used the third person precisely because my Italian is rubbish. They think that really I meant to use the second person, but made a mistake. I see them smirking about their superior knowledge, and guess what? Once, one of them in a situation like this actually corrected me, causing even more embarrassment. I once found myself in a taxi explaining to the person with whom I was travelling why he shouldn’t go about saying ‘tu’, and that he should say ‘lei’ because he was causing offence. He thought this was absolutely hilarious (“As if….hahahahahaha……what rubbish …..you is ‘tu’….’lei’ is ‘she’….hahahaha….il-lallu what rubbish.”)
An eloquent family friend, who has lived in a retirement home for some years now, has been asked by the parliamentary secretariat for the elderly to give some ‘training talks’ to staff after she wrote a newspaper piece suggesting how those who work in retirement homes should behave around those who live there. One of the first things I am going to tell them, she said, is that they should stop addressing the residents by their first names.
I hope she gets that message across, because I imagine she’s going to find that the cultural barrier is by now unbridgeable and that the majority of staff genuinely are unable to understand why it is totally unacceptable for them to use first names, or why it’s deemed so deeply offensive. My grandmother, who all her life was Nellie to family and friends and Mrs Vella to everyone who was neither, suddenly found herself at the end of her life in an environment where the cleaners and the runners dishing up the food were addressing her loudly and with each syllable clearly enunciated, though she wasn’t remotely deaf and they could observe her working out extremely difficult crosswords, as Helen – or to be more precise, Halan. She was too polite to put them in their place, and she wouldn’t let anyone else do it in case the staff did something nasty to her lunch.
The people who work in these places, and those who manage them, seem unaware of the fact that, when you are already feeling vulnerable and suffering from the myriad indignities of old age, the last thing you need is some chirpy or cheeky twerp calling you by your first name instead of the Mrs or Mr Whatever you have been used to all your life. These well-meaning fools probably think that a friendly first name makes the old person feel better. It doesn’t. It has the opposite effect to that intended. Imagine a man who has been a pillar of society for most of his adult life, who ran things and employed people and was always in the thick of the action. Now he finds himself dependent on others, unable even to wash himself, and to heap indignity upon indignity, there’s some 25-year-old nursing aide calling him ‘Joey’ each time she does the job she’s paid to do and changes his bedding.
This particular problem reaches beyond our limited shores. Intermittently over the past year or so, I have seen angry letters in the correspondence columns of at least two of the London Sunday broadsheets, about this very subject. The spate of protests became so intense at one point that it spurred the head of the British Medical Association to make a public announcement that hospital staff are now being told to stop addressing patients by their first names – patients of any age, and not just the elderly, though the problem is at its most acute with old people.
Dr Hamish Meldrum said that too many doctors and nurses are making elderly patients feel uncomfortable by using their first names, when many prefer to be addressed more formally. “I have noticed it especially in residential homes, where you will get a wee young girl addressing a man of 90 by his first name, not realising that he is clearly uncomfortable with that,” he told the media. Dr Meldrum urged doctors and nurses to make a point of asking patients how they would like to be addressed. I think that was a mistake. Some people find it difficult to say: “I would prefer to be addressed as Mrs Smith”. Better advice would have been to start out by addressing everyone as Mr, Mrs or Miss as a matter of policy and then wait for them to say, ‘Please call me David’, and if they don’t, to carry on using the formal mode of address.
The head of the British Medical Association spoke about this after The Sunday Telegraph received a flood of letters from readers who felt patronised by the use of first names by hospital staff. One woman wrote: “I was asked whether I preferred to be called Mrs Davis or Pamela. I said Mrs Davis and was then called Pam throughout my stay.”
It’s all to do with lack of respect, skewed ideas of what a democratic society is all about, and sheer ignorance. Because these people don’t mind being called ‘x’ismek’ and ‘Joey’, they think everyone else feels the same way. But they don’t, and somebody should point this out. If the government has any money left to spend, it could start with a public affairs campaign telling people how to address others, because they are quite clearly not learning these lessons at home or at school.
This article is published in The Malta Independent today.
42 Comments Comment
Leave a Comment
Hi, hijjos, xbin, aw man!
Come on! It’s FUN to call buddies like that!
So when approached by a stranger in such a way, for me it’s hilarious. My personal favorite is when tourists are approached like that!
Of course I cannot pretend that everyone can see the comical side of life.
[Daphne – Call your friends what you like. If you don’t understand that there are different ways of addressing friends, customers and strangers, then you could only have been brought up in Malta. It’s not fun. It’s extremely rude, discourteous and displays immense ignorance which, unfortunately, manifests itself in all other areas of life.]
I agree completely with you here. I also hate it when silly people insist on calling me “qalbi” when I’m out shopping. I find it terribly condescending. Once I got called it about ten times in a row by a sales-girl in a shoe store, who was showing me the shoes available in my size. When I could take it no more, I simply told her, “I am not your qalbi, so stop that.” – after which, I am happy to say, she had to grace to apologise.
Change your butcher. Mine still calls me “sinjura” amidst a clutch of “thank yous” as I leave, and would think of addressing me by no other title. I appreciate his courtesy, although it might be considered old-fashioned in this day and age.
Well done for pointing out this labour-induced epidemic. Let’s hope that the medical and nursing associations in Malta have the courage to ensure that their members address patients, who are after all their customers and benefactors, respectfully as Mr or Mrs. I wonder whether you might have ruined things for Joseph who might have wished to introduce this change as part of his earthquake plan.
Indeed we are losing the finer touches!!! Should we all carry name tags? Have you ever been told to `EJJA SUQ, SUQ` by traffic policemen???
[Daphne – Yes, and it shocks me. I want to get out of the car and give them a good slap for their cheek. You would never believe that our police force is the direct descendant of that police force whose members ask you to ‘Move along, please, madam’ and ‘Keep going, please, sir.’ X’hamallagni.]
The term of address popular with my contemporaries (and Daphne’s) when addressing a male used to be “Aw charlie”.
Just remembering it still pisses me off, even though its not so often heard nowadays.
Have to admit, in those days I was pretty uncouth myself occasionally, through, as Daphne herself says, exposure.
Can’t agree with Matt; uncouth is uncouth, and any funny aspect becomes stale very fast.
PS I am using Mrs CG’s first name because this is the handle she uses, and am thus refering to the monicker she herself presents publicly for use in this commentary section of her blog. Pedantic? Moi?
[Daphne – It was ‘Cali’, pronounced ‘Chully’. Everyone calls me Daphne, from the man at the vegetable truck to the boys who came to wash the windows the other day. Sigh.]
I feel very strongly about your old people’s homes point. I really can’t bear to see my grandma – who, ‘in life’, was invariably polite and respectable – addressed like some sort of simpleton (forget the form of address – but then these people are not exactly big on Debrett’s, shall we say). Her standard procedure for giving them the finger is switching off her hearing aid and reading novels, by the cartload. If you can’t beat them nanna, ignore them.
There may be a simpler explanation for this. Maybe the butcher’s boy couldnt get his tongue around Daphne…. You have only your parents to blame for giving you and the rest of the brood such tongue twisters for names, Corinne ( The maltese Kaaaren), Helene ( Rymes with Xelin) and Mandy ( the easiset of the lot) . You should change your names to Britney ( after all she is 1/8 Maltese),Katarina, Helga, and Amandajoselle.Now those are modern Maltese names we can identify with.
I’m joking of course.
We are an uncouth lot as Maltese with no manners, no sense of addressing people, no sense of respect even to our elders, who , because of their age, demand our natural respect and a correct form of address. Its not just Mintoff Chippies……we refuse to be educated in basic manners. We have become a nation of egoists with no values at all, if we ever had them. The younger they are, the worse they become. There is plenty of ignorance around, Ms CG, but you are wasting your breath and your ink. Its getting worse and its here to stay. Deal with it.
Oh how I agree with you on this matter Daphne. Another thing that I find disrespectful is for kids to call adults by their first names, even relatives. Whatever happened to ‘Uncle’ and ‘Aunt’?
A friend of mine in England when going with his daughter to an open day at kindergarten was asked for his first name by a teacher at a desk. When he enquired why she needed it the answer was “To put it on a label so the other children will know what to call you”! He retorted “Please write Mr. Cardew”.
A friend of mine hates being called uncle, and I told him plain and straight – my boys will either call him uncle or Mr …. He settled for uncle.
Having said that there are still some (admittedly rare) examples of how things should be – our home help called me Sur David from day one which I don’t mind, even though she is practically family.
[Daphne – My sons, my sister’s daughers and my sister-in-law’s son and daughter address their aunts and uncles by their first names. There is unanimous agreement on that. The formality of ‘aunt’ and ‘uncle’ seems quite redundant, even silly, when you have the express permission of the person concerned not to use it. There is no way I want to be addressed as ‘Aunt Daphne’, and I honestly can’t imagine my sons traipsing around referring to everyone as ‘Aunt Corinne’ or ‘Aunt Mandy’ or whatever. It’s ridiculous. First names are offensive only when they are used without permission. And I’m quite happy to see an end to the days when we had to address adults who were not related to us, but who were friends of our parents, as ‘aunt’ and ‘uncle’. What sense did that make? And where did the habit come from?]
@matt – You clearly come from a background where addressing people as “hi” usually goes unnoticed. The fact the you use the word “pretend” instead of the correct “expect” is a clear give-away.
And what about the all-time favourites “Aw sex” or “Aw gisem”?
I quite liked those…
[Daphne – They’ve gone the way of ‘Aw Chully’.]
As usual, this article hits the nail on the head. I’m always taken aback and sometimes offended when people I’ve never ever spoken to previously address me with my first name. I also hate being addressed as “dik il-mara” in a shop. I hate it with a passion. I hate being called “hi” or “qalbi” in all settings. It’s patronising and silly. I’m not anybody’s qalbi even if they’ve met me a couple of times. And I’m not a cute little girl so I shouldn’t elicit a “qalbi”, ever.
I hate being addressed by my first name even by people who I come across professionally. I never address my professional acquaintances by their first name unless they specifically ask me to. It’s so rude! And I make it a point to point out to people who call me on the phone and, not having ever spoken to me before, address me by my first name to tell them yes I’m … and use my full name, including the title.
It’s not a matter of pride. It’s a matter of courtesy and politeness and a matter of our conversations reflecting the degree of familiarity we have with each other. I wouldn’t invite to dinner somebody I’ve just met so why should I use their first name? I can’t, I really can’t fathom it.
Furthermore, I’m noticing people my age (thirties) are addressing older people with their first name as well. I still address my friends’ parents using Mr. and Ms. or whatever other title they happen to have. I feel that using their titles is a way of showing respect and, sometimes, deference to a person who knows way much more than me about life and living.
Some people take me for a fool because I address them using their appropriate titles (Mr., Ms., Miss, and whatever) even in speech and once a person actually told me that I sound like somebody from the pre-war era (presumably referring to WWII) and that I’m too polite! I never thought anybody could be too polite and I quickly retorted that if only we could go back to the courtesy demonstrated at the time, we’ d all lead a more peaceful and less stressful life and that, as far as manners go, we’re regressing not progressing. On another occasion, a person told me that she feels important because I call her “Sinjura”. What else should I call you, I enquired? Well, nobody refers to me as “Sinjura”, she replied in a rather puzzled tone. This is how much we’re unaccustomed at being addressed civilly.
So, thank you for such a good article. At long last, I found somebody else who shares my daily frustration.
Good for you Daph. It is about time someone clearly said that most of the Maltese are especially rude when it comes to addressing people. About time the Education authorities clamped down on this sort of thing and insisted on teaching good manners even at schools. It would also help if at home children are taught to address people of any age in the proper way. I am under the impression that the Maltese people feel it is inferior to be polite to others. To Matt I say, NO it is not funny at all – call your buddies what you like but not people whom you do not know. No matter how modern we pretend to be, being polite is never not ‘trendy’.
So true. But it’s going to take more than a campaign to get things sorted. On Bondi+ the other day, Archbishop Paul Cremona addressed the presenter thus: “Le, le, hi mhux hekk qed nghid…”. Twice or three times if I’m not mistaken. And he’s a gentle type. In many situations that ‘hi’ is often not rude. Just holier-than-thou-cum-condescending-from-people-who-know-better-because-Jesus-is-on their-side. And possibly even more maddening…
[Daphne – Discussion show hosts are to blame, too. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had to grit my teeth while listening to the host address the prime minister as ‘Lawrence’ or ‘Dr Gonzi’ (the correct form in a situation like that is Prime Minister/Prim Ministru), or to cabinet ministers being addressed on air as ‘John’ (John Dalli) or ‘Louis’ (Louis Galea) because the host happens to know them personally. Call them John or Joe when you’re having a drink. But on air, it’s Minister/Ministru. Imagine Jeremy Paxman interviewing Gordon Brown and calling him ‘Gordon’ repeatedly. Unfortunately, ‘call me Joseph’ isn’t going to help matters. He might think he’s upping his popularity as a man of the people, but he’s undermining the status of his role.]
“Hi” (with the “h” crossed) is an abbreviation for “hija” (also with the “h” crossed) – so, literally translated, it would be the equivalent of “hey bro” in English. I also, mildy to greatly (depending on the occasion), dislike being called “hi”.
[Daphne – It doesn’t explain why ‘hi’ is used for women. Where in the English-speaking world are women addressed as ‘hey bro’?]
Thanks to you Daphne, Joseph might be in for an even harder time when he (eventually) enters one of those retirement homes after the glory years are up. We’re all a bit beastly to others in Malta, including Daph.
– Martin, giblu s-soppa miskin lil Joseph l-Gho**!
[Daphne – Ah, but he wants us to call him Joseph. Perhaps that’s because he went to a school where all boys are addressed by their surname.]
It’s seems that there’s another SB around. So not to confuse matters I will be writing under the nickname of ‘Antimony’ (the element which the symbol ‘Sb’ represents on the periodic table).
I concur with the other SB that I do not find ‘hi’ offensive if used in a polite context. For example, I wouldn’t mind “Kif nista’ nkun ta’ ghajnuna, hi?”. But please do not call me ‘qalbi’, ‘ruhi’ or ‘hanini’!
Similarly, I used to hate it when certain teachers called me using my surname only.
[Daphne – I don’t think you quite understood what SB wrote. He wasn’t condoning the use of ‘hi’ by the archbishop, but rather the opposite. He’s saying: the situation is irredeemable when even the archbishop is saying ‘hi’ on television. ‘Kif nista nkun ta’ ghajnuna, hi?’ is disgraceful. No wonder the situation has gone to the dogs if even people who seem as though they know better are now thinking it’s OK. Haven’t you ever wondered why you never hear the people disparaged as tal-pepe use the word hi?]
People interpret formality as forelock tugging, rather than as a distinction between a person and the role that person represents in a particular context. Hence “x’jismek” (you’re no better than I am, but I don’t know your name anyway), rather than seeing a person as a client and addressing him or her as ‘sinjur’ or ‘sinjura’.
“Call me Joseph” is the flipside of the anti-forelock tugging brigade. Being a man of the people does not mean having to demean the role you occupy, but I guess it takes more than a clutch of degrees to make someone understand that.
Hawn Antimony hi, you can revert to SB. I’ll stick to my real name from now on, orrajt?
Daphne ha capito tutto.
It’s maddening when people – often priests and teachers- use ‘hi’ in that holier-than-thou manner. Come to think of it I believe the Archbishop actually used the expression:
“Le, le JAHASRA Lou, hi, mhux hekk ridt nghid…”
That ‘JAHASRA’ brings out the full effect of the ‘hi’. It says: “Poor souls, they’ve got no idea how misguided they are”.
Grrrrr!
Ooops! That’s what happens when I skim through rather than read posts. *blushes*
Re: ‘hi’…you may be right. My acceptance of such a word (or syllable?) maybe due to the fact that I have become accustomed to it simply because I was bombarded with it since my early years of childhood.
I remember my dad once parking his car at the Xandir Malta parking space and a burly cop shouting from the other end of the car park: “Tipparkjalix hemm Chalie!” My dad ignored him while I pointed out that the officer had just asked him not to park there – to which my dad retorted, “I’m not ‘Chalie’, let him learn some manners”.
“Mela m’intix tisma, Chalie!”
“Lili qed tghid? Hsibtek qed tkellem lil Chalie, hi…”
To my disappointment the clash never materialised as the cop decided to grin and explain, rather than to confront, which led to his order being obeyed.
[Daphne – Ah, but he wants us to call him Joseph. Perhaps that’s because he went to a school where all boys are addressed by their surname.]
For the record, Joseph Muscat attended St Aloysius’ College (he was a year younger than I) and in those days we only had one Brother who used to call us by surname … and if you were at SAC 6th form you’d definitely have heard him shouting at us on the other side of the corridor.
Some people appear to have developed a suicidal tendency towards informality. Lately I had job applicants, whom I addressed as Mr. or Ms. – as I address anyone with whom I correspond in a professional capacity – responding by addressing me with my first name. Granted, the correspondence was via e-mail but I still believe you have to observe the rules of professional and polite behaviour in the case of such correspondence. It gave me, at the very least, a bad initial impression.
You ain’t seen/heard nothing yet until you have been addressed- as I once was for some time- ‘Għaaa Mark (Aaa Mark)’…
[M. Bormann: “Hi” (with the “h” crossed) is an abbreviation for “hija” (also with the “h” crossed) – so, literally translated, it would be the equivalent of “hey bro” in English. I also, mildy to greatly (depending on the occasion), dislike being called “hi”.]
Couldn’t it in fact be an abbreviation for the word “ruhi”? In that case it would explain why women are referred to as “hi”, as well as men.
Coincidently I was having this discussion with a couple of English friends. We also mentioned the habit of using the terms ‘dan u din’ (him and her) infront of that person. Din qaltli, dan ghandu. Also the lack of use of please and thank you were noted.
[Daphne – ‘Dan’ and ‘din’ are not ‘him’ and ‘her’, but ‘this one.’ Otherwise it would be ‘hu’ and ‘hi’. That’s why, when speaking English, the kind of people who say ‘dan’ and ‘din’ will say ‘this one told me…’.]
Thinking of more disparaging ways in which one can be addressed, “ras” comes to mind. I won’t ever forget a manual worker screaming out, “X’hin hu ras?”, at one of our professors at Uni, and all this within ear-shot of hundreds of students. We couldn’t help giggling at the time, but we were mortified at the total lack of manners extended to this fastidiously mannered professor – mortified instead of the loud-mouth, that is, who continued on his way in total oblivion as to what he had done wrong.
I hated being addressed as Ginger, by the minibus drivers particularly, because I was never a red head and I always wondered how they would’ve felt being called “Pepper”.
[Daphne – Ginger means fair in Malta, and not red-headed.]
I can’t agree with you more – this article is spot on! Common courtesy has become impossible to find. I regularly use a gym at a five star hotel, and on exiting the car park I hand over my parking ticket to the car park attendant on duty and simply say ‘Good afternoon’ or ‘Good evening’ as a polite pretext. Every single time I am either totally ignored, or in the particular case of a gum-chewing, bepierced female attendant, glared at. And this at a five star resort…
One thing I hated as a child at secondary school was being called by my surname, no Mr, just Gatt. To me it meant I was of little importance to my educators and I was yearning to be respected as an individual.
Likewise, today I find the use of “dik” or “dak” as ill-mannered especially when the person concerned is present. When I first moved to the UK, I found addressing strangers as Sir and Madam difficult to adjust to but I wouldn’t have it otherwise now.
Mrs. Caruana Galizia – I take it from the contents of this contribution that from now on you will stop referring to the Leader of the Opposition as “Joey” and will accord him the courtesy of his name and proper title “Dr. Joseph Muscat”?
[Daphne – Actually, I refer to him as Muscat.]
I agree with every word you wrote Daph.
My mother was in both St Luke’s and a private hospital for
weeks after suffering a severe stroke. In both places we
spent our time telling Matron, nurses and carers that at
the age of 81 she was not use to being addressed by her
christian name, of which they came up with about ten
variations. Although she couldn’t speak, I watched her
cringe as she was called hanini and pupa. They were bloody
lucky she couldn’t speak!!
At almost pensionable age, I still address people I’m
acquanted with, who are older than me as Mr. or Mrs.
and always clients of whatever age.
Along with good English, basic good manners seem to have
gone down the drain.
[Daphne – Your last point: the two are connected.]
This conversation was in Maltese, but I will recount it in English for the sake of this blog…
– Hey, Chalie, do you have the time?
– How did you know my name?
– It was just a guess.
– Then go ahead and guess the time!
I fully agree that manners are disappearing in Malta, and not just in our conversations.
However, please note that it is not true that Italians always address unknown persons in the third person. During my stays in Sicily I am rarely addressed with Lei. Young people (less than ~30yrs) are usually addressed tu. In turn, under thirties rarely use Lei with their contemporaries, even with strangers.
[Daphne – Please don’t mention Sicily. The place is full of people who can best be described using the H word, like Malta.]
Once again spot om Daphne! You mention the salesboy at the bucher’s, however even bank employees behave in this way, on the phone and when talking to you at the bank. You would expect impeccable manners from bank employees. bank managers please note!
@SB/Antimony
Archbishop Cremona’s use of “hi” towards Lou Bondi was intentional and not a slip of the tongue. The archbishop was insinuating that he was superior to Lou Bondi, adding credence to his argument. The use of the word “hi” towards Lou Bondi in this situation was therefore condescending and rude, but not unusual for this archbishop, who seems to be very good at smiling at someone and demeaning the same person in the same breath.
“Aw Gisem!” was a phrase used by Eileen Montesin in some 1980s play and it started being how crass
Oh Daphne, you hit bull’s eyes! I totally concur with you on this one!
Regarding the Italian bit, I can back what you said. When my family arrived in Malta, we used to speak Italian and little English. (We then took a course, which really helped our pronunciation. In fact we now speak English.) Anyway, we used to speak in Italian and of course, we used the polite form. You know what? When I referred to someone with the polite form, hence LEI, I usually used to get eerie looks. They would then say “are you really Italian? No, because your Italian s*cks. You keep on referring to me as a woman while you can clearly see I’m a man.” My mum too agreed to whatever you said, as she witnessed it herself. In fact she never uses Italian anymore here because people just think they use impeccable Italian whilst in reality they can’t form a decent sentence. (Which is a pity, as Italian is her language after all hehe) It’s not because they don’t know Italian, really, but because they seriously think they know the language and thus they feel like correcting anyone with the little they know. (Basta jaraw it-televixin hey!) Many are all but humble.
By the way, when studying Maltese, I was always told to say “televixin” as that is the right word for it, while “televizjoni” is not anymore appropriate. I was told that we now prefer the English translation, as –ixin now replaces –ision. And I was told that for the Maltese A’ Level, so I take it they know their stuff. So why is it that on TV, presenters persist with “telvizjoni”? Did they ever study Maltese? Or am I wrong? If I am, please do correct me.
Nobody has yet mentioned the no.1 Maltese way to summon a stranger whose name you dont know. Psssstttt. I have never once answered to this stupid noise. It’s funny to hear them do it louder and louder as you walk away. Probably red in the face and hyperventilating by the end of it.
It should be made illegal with mandatory jailtime to pssssttt a stranger in the street. This is definetely up there in my top 10 pet peeves.
[Daphne – How about ‘Yaaaaassssssss! Ghidli hi.’]
@Mrs. Caruana Galizia. So which Joey were you referring to in your contributions on September 13 and September 30? Just type the word “Joey” as a search term in the search function on your blog if you want to refresh your recollection.
[Daphne – That’s an ironic use of the name, Uncle Fester – like your use of the honorific ‘uncle’.]
It seems that “lil din” has found its counterpart in the USA. The following from CNN is quoting Senator McCain when referring to Senator Obama in his presence during the last debate between the two of them:
“It was an energy bill on the floor of the Senate, loaded down with goodies, billions for oil companies, and it was sponsored by Bush and Cheney. … You know who voted for it? You might never know. That one,” he said, gesturing toward Obama. “You know who voted against it? Me.”
Same day this article was posted, the local postgirl called with a registered parcel and asked me to sign. Thanks, I said. Ok xbin? she replied. This is true.
I completely agree with you, about time someone brought this to the attention of the Maltese population. Every time I visit a friend’s house (who still lives with their parents) I always get laughed at by my friends for addressing their parents formally.