The Gozo Inquisition – read this and sob
A friend sent me this – and what a story the newspapers missed, given this account:
“You’ll probably enjoy this bit of news, which wasn’t picked up, because no journalists were present to report. I spent an entertaining morning before the Gozo Court today, listening to case after case of teenagers charged with dressing up as nuns at the Nadur carnival. It was hilarious seeing makeshift ‘wimples’ being exhibited in court by deadly serious police officers: “Kellu dan il-velu ma’ rasu, Sinjura Magistrat. Hadnieh l-ghassa u nezzajnihielu, u qed nezebieh issa lill-qorti” – cue sombre facial expression. I had to make a serious effort not to guffaw throughout the 90 minutes I was there.
The court acquitted the youngsters in all the cases that I followed, on the basis that shrouding oneself in black cloth, wearing even more black cloth “u maktur abjad fuq rasek” does not constitute donning “abiti sagri”. Magistrate Edwina Grima also ruled that no crucifixes or other objects were used, and therefore there was nothing that actually vilified or mocked the Catholic religion, which is a dangerous argument to make, and I don’t think she realises the consequences of that decision.
The bottom line is that next year we are free to dress up as nuns and monks, so long as we don’t wear crucifixes or rosary beads around our necks or drink vodka out of a plastic pyx.
The atmosphere in court was equally hilarious. Everyone waited with bated breath as the magistrate scribbled down each judgement, and the hall almost burst into applause each time she read out an acquittal. I could swear I heard someone clap furtively at the back of the hall at one point. The police, needless to say, looked very put out.”
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this is more serious
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/vaticancityandholysee/5005357/Pope-Benedict-XVI-condoms-make-Aids-crisis-worse.html
Sooo Malta. Vatican II dumps on kids for having fun and the Pope, today, tells Africans that condoms increase aids.
The recent tragi-comical events remind me of this joke:
A young man gets on a bus and sits next to a nun. Thinking he’ll get a laugh from the other passengers he loudly asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun slaps him hard in the face, gives him a good dressing down and gets off at the next stop. The youngster is left fuming at being made to look like an idiot. The bus driver turns to him and says, “I can tell you how you can get your revenge on that nun. Each day at dawn she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you put on a wig and dress up as Jesus she’ll do anything you’ll ask her to”. The young man likes the idea, buys a wig, dresses up as Jesus and goes to the cemetery. Right on time the nun appears to say her prayers. When she’s in the middle of praying he walks out from hiding. “Oh my God!”, exclaims the nun. “Tell me what you want of me and I will do it”. The young man tells her that he wants to have sex with her. The nun is taken aback but agrees. However she asks for anal sex to keep her virginity. The young man does not object to this. When he’s done with he takes off his wig and shouts, “Ha, I’m not really Jesus, I’ve fooled you”. The nun withdraws her veil and says, “Well, I’ve fooled you. I’m the bus driver.”
Moral of the story: never trust people who are dressed as nuns or as Jesus. Or bus drivers.
Why, Leonard, why?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8KxXHibv6A
[Daphne – That appears to be a nervous tic, a form of OCD.]
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20090319/local/carnival-nuns-cleared
That poor man should never have pleaded guilty to dressing up as Jesus Christ. He was badly advised. I wonder who his lawyer was.
@MSF – probably because there aren’t any trigger-happy hunters in the vicinity.
This one’s without crosses or religious symbols (currently out of stock):
http://www.amazon.com/Sexy-Naughty-Adult-Costume-Habit/dp/B000U67C14
It’s a brilliant joke. I’ve had everybody rolling at work.