Teaching maths over the years

Published: July 25, 2009 at 9:59am

maths

Somebody sent me this.

Teaching maths in 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching maths in 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is 80% of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching maths in 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is £80. How much was his profit?

Teaching maths in 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching maths in 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

Teaching maths in 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree, because it might be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling licence. He is fined £100 because his chainsaw is in breach of health and safety legislation: it is deemed too dangerous because it might cut something.

He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident but he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated to government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100. When he is released he returns to find gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land.

He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail the gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving barbecue of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind pile of rubbish and asbestos sheeting.

The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, go on the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?

Teaching maths in 2010
A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub-prime mortgages in Alabama and has lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million-pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.

The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry which was built in the 1970s and no longer meets the emissions regulations. He is forced to scrap it.

Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the government’s expense.

Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang-master.

The government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonuses are not cheap. Members of parliament feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances. You do the maths.




14 Comments Comment

  1. Joseph Micallef says:

    Brilliant but a missed a part! Since 2009 people were struggling to find wood fuel for their fireplace which after all was a huge rather unnecessary investment. However thanks to a multinational who has been relieved of the small woodcutter, pranced on the opportunity to produce artificial fire fuel pellets promoting them as super ecological green approved green produced product. They look like animal fodder pellets and the company claims its regenerated wood cuttings….They burn like hell but they do have a suspicious petroleum smell. Who know …..who cares…it’s a green job or is it we that are green!.

  2. kc says:

    awesome!!

  3. wenzu says:

    Ma kellekx biex timla llum!?

    • john xuereb says:

      Ahseb qabel tpacpac, Wenz.

    • Meerkat:) says:

      M’ghandekx xi tghid illum, wenz?

    • christian says:

      No Wenz……

      I see this happening everyday in Ireland, believe me. It’s happening in Malta to a certain extent, not with tree cutting and Bulgarains, but in other sectors and nationalities. So yes, this blog is very valid. Prosit, Daphne.

      [Daphne – I didn’t write it. I just thought people would find it amusing. I certainly did.]

    • Reuben Mifsud says:

      @ wenzu

      Ma kellekx s’tikkritika llum?

  4. Andrea says:

    Looks more like a black and white ‘Paint by Number’ picture than earnest maths.

  5. Karl Flores says:

    Heard in the evening BBC news yeaterday.

    By Matt McGrath
    Science reporter, BBC World Service

    You’ve heard of “green” fuel. Now get ready for yellow as scientists have found a way to turn banana waste into a sustainable fuel source that could be relevant to many countries across Africa.

    Rotting banana skins are mashed into a pulp, then mixed with saw dust. The simple, low-tech idea, was developed by researchers at Nottingham University. They used banana skins to create briquettes that can be burned for cooking, lighting and heating. It could alleviate the burden of gathering firewood, the dominant energy source in many parts of the continent. This would help reduce deforestation, which makes a significant contribution to global climate change.

  6. David Buttigieg says:

    Here’s a joke from Canada. How do you define a Canadian?

    An unarmed American with healthcare.

  7. Leonard says:

    A very frustrated logger gets on a bus and blows himself up.

  8. Anthony C Azzopardi says:

    The article is brilliant. Wenzu does not have a sense of humour.

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