Maltastar's brilliant expose' of last night's BondiPlus

Published: March 16, 2010 at 2:39pm
I thought that if I turned myself into a rubber puppet, I could have a closer relationship with the other deputy leader.

I thought that if I turned myself into a rubber puppet, I could have a closer relationship with the other deputy leader.

I thought you might need some cheering up, but you’ll have to brace yourselves, because it could have the reverse effect.

Bondi really tried to engineer this roofless, spineless proposal down the viewers throat but both gentlemen refused to be cajoled into doing the wrong think to make conductor Lou happy?

Three amazing things emerged.

The PM, a not hugely successful lawyer prior to this experience as PM didn’t engage with key artists/architects to see what was needed. Secondly there was consequently no proper brief. Third PM and Lou and his orchestra of bloggers, programme makers and the like, is unimpressed by the majority in The Times being against, and any petitions. Lou wants Gonzi to have his Parliament building and he wants it now.

– Maltastar, today

Remember that this is the government in waiting.




40 Comments Comment

  1. La Redoute says:

    Doing the wrong think?

    That should have pleased the elves at Maltastar. It’s right up their grotto.

  2. Danika says:

    They must have had an English A Level with a grade of B or better…

  3. Alan says:

    I’ve seen similar grammar, syntax, continuity and literal translations from Maltese written by my 11-year-old niece.

  4. Il-Cop says:

    I think you meant a regime in waiting. ‘…didn’t engage with key artists/architects…’ And I always thought Renzo Piano was a key architect. Maybe he graduated at University of ‘Il-Macina’. As John McEnroe once told the umpire I will tell them. You cannot be serious.

  5. La Redoute says:

    Three amazing things emerged.

    1.Maltastar’s leader thinks architects provide briefs.

    2. Maltastar’s leader doesn’t know the difference between a statement and a question.

    3. The gremlins in the grotto have eaten the laptops’ punctuation keys.

    Maybe it’s not amazing. This is Maltastar, after all.

    Does anyone know what this means:

    “is unimpressed by the majority in The Times being against, and any petitions. “

    • Not Tonight says:

      Well, the ‘is’ refers to the PM, Lou, an orchestra of bloggers, programme makers ‘and the like’…. My mind boggles as to the rest of it.

  6. Dunstan says:

    ‘The PM, a not hugely successful lawyer`…..my foot. Does a lawyer have to be defending criminals to be classified as successful? Petty minds.

  7. H.P. Baxxter says:

    I have just “engineered” my coffee “down my throat”.

  8. Twanny says:

    Back to censorship? I thought you had grown out of that.

    [Daphne – No, Twanny, I deleted it in error. But I do remember what your question was – you couldn’t find the Maltastar quote I flagged up here. It’s from the leading article, no less – and no, not the section they call ‘More Leader’. Find something else to do, Twanny. You’re putting me in mind of a pest at a Neptunes disco, circa 1978.]

    • kev says:

      Looks like Twanny here is the ‘controlled opposition’. A chat-space like this always needs a semblance of balanced moderation.

      [Daphne – Kev, apart from you, Twanny and somebody who calls himself Whoa There, the other opposition is composed of swear-words and instructions for me to look in the mirror. Too many of those pollute the atmosphere – so they are the ones I control. Everyone else is free to put forward a rational argument in civilised language.]

      • kev says:

        Miskina, it must be hard to moderate all this chattering. So that explains why you inadvertantly delete rational comments.

        [Daphne – Which ones, Kevin – and do your brothers-in-law know that you hang out here, passing the time of day with the enemy?]

      • Gianni Xuereb says:

        @Daphne – is-serdik idden… again and again and again. Miskin ghejja nahseb.

        [Daphne – D’ you see what I mean, Kevin?]

      • kev says:

        Which ones?! Imbierka inti fost in-nisa!

        You wouldn’t know, Daphne. I did say ‘inadvertently’. Gavnó happens – even to the best of comments.

        As for passing time with the enemy, as long as it’s not in bed, I’ve been allowed. But don’t flatter yourself into believing they’re taking you seriously. And had others taken my advice, you would have had no ratings to speak of.

        [Daphne – ‘As long as it’s not in bed’: x’mentalita.]

      • La Redoute says:

        What’s wrong with these Ellul Bonicis? They don’t take this blog seriously but Kevin’s always here.

        “Had others taken my advice”. Maybe they didn’t because it wasn’t worth taking.

      • kev says:

        It’s a pun on a movie. So it’s your own mentalita that’s speaking.

        [Daphne – My collection of Labour fitti: Kev, Twanny and Whoa There. Obviously, the intellectual challenges of Maltastar are just not enough.]

    • Twanny says:

      Oh, ok then. Yes I found it and it is as horrible as you say.

      Incidentally, the post you deleted in error also included a link. Here it is again.

      http://www.maltastar.com/pages/r1/ms10dart.asp?a=7710

      [Daphne – Does this report tell us anything we haven’t known for the last year, apart of course from the fact that I am part of a conspiracy theory?]

      • NGT says:

        So Kev must love you

      • La Redoute says:

        It looks like the sort of thing that would have a Twanny in a froth of excitement (EE, ara, se jaqa l-gvern).

        “A coordinated attack”. That’s the Labour mentality speaking. For a moment there I thought they said “trouble loons”. It must be the Maltastar effect.

  9. Il-Cop says:

    So now we get promotion to an orchestra. Could I suggest a name? Daphne’s Symphony Orchestra. Sounds wicked to me. Anyway I want in and I would like to play ‘Il-Katuba’, Never had the chance to cuddle close behind one. Besides with every bang the vibration will surely give me a thrill. Maybe we get to perform on the opening of the open, sorry, roofless theatre. Daphne doing a ‘Muti’. I can’t wait.

    • La Redoute says:

      Maybe they were thinking of Charlon Gouder who played the trombone in a band club before becoming keeper of public morals.

  10. Leonard says:

    So these people think that serving as company lawyer and then chairman to one of Malta’s leading group of businesses does not make Lawrence Gonzi a hugely successful lawyer. But then this is what one expects from one of Malta’s hugely successful websajts.

  11. s fenech says:

    Maltastar are on thin ice here: ‘gonzi being an unsuccessful lawyer’. Perhaps they’d like to try bowling us over with Joseph Muscat’s CV.

  12. jomar says:

    What makes a ‘successful’ lawyer?

    By Maltese standards, one who criticizes a project in parliament and is later found to be paid for services rendered to the same project.

    [Daphne – I believe you mean Charles Mangion. He’s actually a notary.]

    • erskinemay says:

      Actually, a notary is included in the collective class of professions known as lawyers. A lawyer is not necessarily someone who solely provides legal advice or litigates in court.

      A lawyer is, however, by definition any individual qualified to read and interpret the law. Thereby, members of the notarial profession are lawyers as much as are advocates, legal procurators, barristers, solicitors etc.,

  13. Genoveffa says:

    Well, come on now – Gonzi was in fact really never a fantastic lawyer – I actually am not too thrilled with him as party leader or prime minister. He’s having a free joy ride with the kind of idiots that make up the opposition.

  14. Gianni Xuereb says:

    Please discuss Malta’s stance on tuna ban instead of this rubbish.

    • Stefan Vella says:

      That one is too easy. It was a lost battle from the start.

      The government knew that but is adopting a confrontational stance to wangle some concessions from the EU. In the end, we’ll get our revenue neutral concession/s and everything goes back to normal.

      In the meantime, the opposition will scream bloody murder ignoring the fact that in government they would have done exactly the same thing. Nothing to see – moving along.

      Now can we get back on topic – Maltastar comic journalism?

  15. Pat Zahra says:

    Hoy, you parsons at maltastar. Your inglish is being varry worst. Peoples who is reading your scribbles is thinking you is inyouraunt. Had you been knowing that language is beast-of-burden of thought and that if you has lack of language accurate than clear taught goes phut and falls on it’s darryer? Ditto logics?
    Hears an idea: howbout you alls in there is going in for the BA in English or Maltis instead of kors tal-ligi? Huh? Maybe you is all larning something of sugu?

    MIn jaf kemm hsibtuni kiesha hux? Imma daqshekk iehor intom qed taqghu ghac-cajt kull darba li tiktbu dak l-Ingliz imhanzer. Ghall-inqas jien qed ingerfex apposta. X’inhi l-iskuza taghkom?

  16. PAL says:

    I had to read it three times. The first time I couldn’t understand a thing – sorry, a think. The second time I did my best to understand, and the third time, I couldn’t stop laughing. I think they need to employ a full-time proof-reader/translator to check all articles before they are uploaded. Oh the shame in three years’ time! Can you imagine their speeches?

    • La Redoute says:

      They don’t just need a proofreader. They need people who know how to think and who how to write. It’s not a tall order. It’s just difficult to find someone like that who’d want to work for Maltastar.

  17. jomar says:

    Only if they can afford to hire one, Pat.

  18. daphnerocks says:

    From Maltastars of the English Language – The GWU has issued that it is against having to pay for health services due to the fact that the country already pays for them through their taxes. Due to this the union has encouraged the government to take action regarding the lost waiting lists and high medicine prices.

    According to the union in a letter written to minister Joe Cassar the union made its position regarding the matter very clear.

    The union’s position was made after a discussion in the National Union’s Council where the implementation of a non-free health service was considered

  19. Victory Kitchen says:

    Now here’s a really lovely picture:

    http://www.josephcuschieri.com./

  20. T says:

    @Twanny
    Talking of censorship, I am still waiting for my comment which I posted on Malta Star (re Charles Crawford) about 2 days ago to appear…!

    But I have now come to the conclusion that they didn’t like the fact that I told them they should get the real news from this blog rather than starting rumours!

  21. ciccio2010 says:

    I could not believe what I was reading. And this was the leader.
    Now I can understand why Joseph Muscat proposed a second university.

  22. Etienne Caruana says:

    Apropos language and writing skills, I am reminded of one of Wittgenstein’s better-known quotes:
    “The limits of my language mean the limits of my world”

  23. s says:

    I still cannot understand this fuss being made over the opera house and Piano Project. Let’s face it, this project is probably the best thing that has happened to this island since Mintoff brought down the Fredu Gov. Has anyone seen the state that Valletta is currently in? It is a shit hole.

    Finally when something is being done about it what happens? The Maltese people in their infinite wisdom and superior understanding of aesthetics complain about every detail of the project.

    Just shut up and crawl back into your aluminum infested, horrible little houses.

  24. pippo says:

    u charlon gouder dahal hibernation jaqaw?

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