Can we please stop pretending that Joseph has sax appeal?

Published: May 21, 2012 at 6:26pm

Will somebody please tell those desperate loons that this pose only works if you’re:

1. Robert Plant c. 1973
2. Joaquin Phoenix
3. George Clooney
4. A Rebel Without a Cause
5. Che Guevara
6. a raft of rugged icons in their cinematic heyday: Paul Newman, Steve McQueen, Robert Redford

It does not work if you look like:

1. you use face cream
2. you will be the one vomiting over the side during a yacht race
3. you will have to be carried up and down the mountain
4. you left your testosterone shots at home

But above all, it does not work if you have small, undefined eyes, a round face and a slit for a mouth, because this pose is called SMOULDERING, and that’s what it’s all about: eyes, cheekbones, mouth.

When politicians try it, it should come with a health warning strip below.




27 Comments Comment

  1. Lomax says:

    Well, Daphne, it DOES come with a health warning slip below. It is warning us all not to go within 10 kilometres from the Centru Nazzjonali Laburista lest we want to be pulverised by one of these “smouldering” looks.

    Hilarious, anyway.

    I have to say, that is what I need on Friday night: a close encounter with Gallum.

  2. Dan says:

    Very nice. ‘Kijjp it up’ dearie. The more you put up splogs like this one, the better. It’s even more comforting knowing that you’d be understanding this the wrong way – thinking that we don’t want you to blabber up all this nonsense, so you’ll be posting even more with a vengeance thinking we would hate it. Cheers! And thanks once again!

    • Not Tonight says:

      I’d like to know how, in your opinion, it is better (for the PL, I take it) that Daphne keeps putting up such posts.

      Do you think she’s scaring away Nationalists from voting for the original and real blue party?

      Be assured that we’re much stouter of heart than that.

      Your thugs didn’t stop us from putting on a brave show every time there was need of it. Neither did the North Korean-trained riot police squad.

      We love these posts, and you hate them, however much you try to deny it.

      • Not Tonight says:

        And as for his sex appeal, qisu xi haga ghada nofsa nejja. To match all his half-baked ideas, I suppose.

        [Daphne – Mrs Muscat Senior took her bun out of the oven before it had turned golden or made a hollow sound when tapped on the bottom.]

      • silvio says:

        Daphne, for ONCE I don’t agree with you.

        Round face,small mouth etc have nothing to do when deciding whether a man has sex appeal or not.

        It just depends on the size (dirty minded) of his WALLET.

        [Daphne – That’s not sex appeal, Silvio. That’s something different.]

  3. Lilla says:

    He looks like he needs some prunes.

  4. ray says:

    More like ‘sucks appeal’.

  5. Harry Purdie says:

    Would anyone with active brain cells be inspired by such an unappetizing geek?

  6. NotMaltastar says:

    Ave Duce!

  7. Ghoxrin Punt says:

    I’ve said it before and I will say it again, wicc tad-daqqiet ta’ harta.

  8. Cock fighter says:

    You”re so fu***ng hilarious ! The only thing worth reading !

  9. A Montebello says:

    I enlarged the photo until it was almost lifesize, and it struck me that he’s not really looking directly at you, but shiftily over your shoulders and beyond.

  10. Secret Admirer says:

    This couple surely has sax appeal. http://vimeo.com/42533542

  11. silvio says:

    If sex appeal was ever a requisite for becoming prime minister,we would have been without one for at least 60 or 70 years.

    To see what I mean just go to the main hall at Castile and look at the portraits of our past prime ministers.

    [Daphne – My point exactly. Prime ministers and potential prime ministers are not supposed to be about sex appeal, so Labour gets it wrong with these ‘trying to be sexy’ shots. We don’t want a sexy Opposition leader. We want one with policies and brains, and some good people around him.]

    • silvio says:

      Yes I agree with you, but you must admit it helps.

      It wouldn’t hurt to have a good opposition leader who does not look like an empty potato sack.

      [Daphne – Yes, I admit the Tony Blair/David Cameron/Ed Miliband factor is sorely missing from Maltese politics. I’m certain their height, figure and presentation really helped their chances. But the odds aren’t good. Politicians come from the general population, and all you have to do is look around you. But if they can’t be tall and handsome, let’s at least ask for some who are clever and positive, with a good personality.]

      You are too young to remeber the effect that Mussolini had on his women supporters, just seeing him would send trickles of sweat down their spine.

      [Daphne – Really? He was an extremely unattractive man (photographs and film footage still survive): faqmi, short and squat, with humourless eyes, and extremely pompous. Women must have been desperate in those days. Or perhaps the real reason is that women today have more choices and more exposure to different sorts of men, and needn’t all focus, so to speak, on the only gay in the village.]

      But of course women’s tastes have always been a mystery to us helpless men.

      [Daphne – They’re not. Men have had it explained to them time and time again. Women go for neither looks nor money, but for a mixture of factors in which both may feature some or not at all, and in which one or both may help make the decision, but not necessarily.]

      • silvio says:

        You try to say “neither looks nor money” but in actual fact you ended up saying looks AND money (a mixture of both).

        [Daphne – No, Silvio. I meant that one or both may or may not be factors. Most men have neither looks nor money, and it doesn’t stop women from falling in love with them.]

        You even say some un-Christian things about him, all I can say is that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

        [Daphne – UnChristian, about Benito Mussolini? Please.]

        One last thing. You can be assured that he was far from gay, you should have said the only guy, but I am sure you were trying to be as offensive as possible in his regard, knowing how I see those men.

        [Daphne – No, Silvio. ‘The only gay in the village’ is an expression in contemporary speech. It comes from a popular British television show called Little Britain, but has entered common parlance. It doesn’t mean the only gay when used in this context. But as for Mussolini, yes: I strongly suspect that he was gay. There are all the signs. Men who are very far to the right often are: it’s a way of suppressing, controlling and denying what they fear and dislike about themselves. And he was totally camp, my god.]

  12. AJS says:

    Couldn’t help it but the past few photos have me returning to Benito M.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mussolini_biografia.jpg

    • silvio says:

      I never knew that gays dislike themselves.

      So why do they flaunt it?

      I thought that you were against generalising.

      [Daphne – Silvio. Some. Gay. Men. Hate. The. Fact. That. They’re. Gay. And. Deal. With. It. By. Trying. To. Deal. With. Others.]

  13. silvio farrugia says:

    In Maltese it’s called ‘gabibo’.

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