Married at last

Published: August 18, 2012 at 9:49am

And the 41-year-old divorced mother of a teenage daughter, who has been living with her betrothed for a decade, wore a full white lace bridal gown for her registry wedding, like a 25-year-old getting married for the first time in church.

But enough about that. It was to be expected that in Malta we would reinvent the wheel on the protocol for the second marriages of divorced people, and what is suitable apparel and what is not.

What should really interest us is the choice of honeymoon companions. The Jeffrey Pullicino Orlando Smiths were married last Saturday, and by Wednesday, 15th they were show-boating in Gozo with Consuelo Herrera, Robert Musumeci and Jose Herrera and his wife.

You’d think that a couple who made so much public fuss about their desire to marry each other, putting the country through all that trauma, would have 1. married immediately and simply, and 2. departed at once for somewhere very private and anonymous, to spend a few weeks luxuriating in each other’s company and celebrating some private happiness.

But no. What do the Pullicino Orlando Smiths do? They go to Gozo on Santa Marija, when half the island of Malta is there spying on each other and getting into each other’s hair, and tour around the crowded bays in Robert Musumeci’s speedboat, with Consuelo Herrera in her swimming togs.

Then they walk into one of the busiest and most popular restaurants there, Consuelo and Carmen in shorts, Mrs Herrera in her bikini, Jose in his trunks and with no shirt on, and Jeffrey fully dressed in a polo shirt with the standard collar-turned-up, and a cap pulled right down to his eyes (ma jmurx jassedjawh il-fans).

So crass.

40 Comments Comment

  1. cat says:

    Buzzullotti tal-Maltin nghidilhom jiena.

    White wedding gown?

    I know some women who cohabited for years and had children, and then walked to the altar wearing a full bridal gown.

    I think that is the trend.

  2. cat says:

    There is nothing exciting about these kind of marriages or anything so special to celebrate. After living with each other for so many years as a married couple, marriage is only a matter of formality for legal reasons.

  3. Rover says:

    X’linfa ghandu JPO.

  4. Randon says:

    ‘Jose in his trunks and with no shirt on’.

    I suppose that when the patrons of that restaurant were confronted by the ghastly spectacle, their appetite diminished.

    • Marcus says:

      U dan Jose Herrera se jkun ministru tal-gustizzja fil-futur qarib.

      • ta' sapienza says:

        Jose in his trunks and with no shirt on?

        Well, better than the other way round.

      • Not Tonight says:

        Anzi mhux ministru tal-kultura ghax ara kemm igibha ‘l quddiem kieku.

        Insomma, ma kienx hemm Agatha Barbara ministru ta’ l-edukazzjoni u kultura? Mhux ta’ b’xejn it-tnejn marru l-bahar taht il-Labour.

        U issa? Varist jew Nuxellina? Sfurtunatament, iddur fejn iddur, qatta’ racanc u mbarazz.

  5. Adrian says:

    If she didn’t have a daughter, we would have thought she was still a virgin.

  6. Louis says:

    It must have been freezing cold in Gozo that day. Min jaf kemm xerqilha x-‘shorts’ lil Consuelo.

  7. TinaB says:

    Good heavens. I find it ridiculous and immature when middle-aged people like these two try so hard to be Hello magazine material.


  8. Joseph Cauchi Senior says:

    Why is the chandelier not switched on?

    [Daphne – Because it would have ruined the lighting used by the photographer. I thought that much would be obvious.]

  9. Mary says:

    Good one, Daphne.

  10. silvio says:

    Why am I surprised you weren’t asked to the wedding?

    Consuelo must have missed you as well.

    Do not despair, it might have been just an oversight. I’ m sure you will be asked when the little Pullicinos start arriving.

  11. ciccio says:

    Issa jmiss lil Franco. Imma dak lanqas l-ewwel darba ma zzewweg.

    Biex jahbata ma’ Jeffrey irid jghaggel, jizzewweg li dik il-mara li suppust ghandu (the invisible woman), jiddivorzjha, jerga isib mara ohra, u jizzewwigha.

    U ghandu bzonn jitfa applikazzjoni lil Qorti biex ibiddel kunjomu formalment u izid bicca bl-Ingliz: Franco Debono Cocks.

  12. H.P. Baxxter says:

    Hmm. An interesting little three-pipe problem. Should a divorced groom wear a morning suit?

  13. Xejn Sew says:

    That’s really nothing. The ceremony took place just next to the St Bartholomew’s Church in Rabat – taf int, jekk ma jhallunix nizzewweg gewwa, nizzewgilhom hdejha, u bit-tapit ahmar ukoll.

    All the MPs at the wedding were strictly PL, with the exception of Jesmond Mugliett (sort of). Jowzef and Jackie Onassis were there of course. So was Manwel Mallia and the new(ish) PL court jester, Johnnie Bundy. The Bundy guy was so keen to be loved by all the PL bigwigs that I heard he was admitted to the Emergency Department at Mater Dei with severe likkasitis immediately after the wedding party. Robert and Consuelo were naturally in attendance, embellishing proceedings no end with their hefty presence.

  14. David Meilak says:

    What’s this bull with collars turned up? Is this some kind of fashion?

    • Grezz says:

      Yes, usually amongst the plebs wearing T-shirts of a particular brand or two.

      • Not Tonight says:

        And in my experience, they also tend to be short men – probably trying to give an illusion of being taller in body or something.

        Don’t bother, it doesn’t work – you just look like short men trying to look taller – it also gives you a look of being a “melha”, that’s the impression I get anyway.

    • H.P. Baxxter says:

      It helps protect the massive brass neck.

  15. Aunt Hetty says:

    You are describing a typical scene from some sleazy B movie of the 1970s, the sort in which Lando Buzzanca, Pierino and Edwige Fenech used to star. Did they have a beach ball and a water melon with them as well?

  16. Grezz says:

    Very, very heavy make-up – typical of somebody of that background. Slap it on with a trowel and scrape it off with a bulldozer.

  17. *1981* says:

    Simply obnoxious. Il-vera trid tkun purcinell ta’ prima klassi.And that includes Carmen Camilleri Ciantar Pullicino Orlando Smith, il-vergni bil-bizzilla bajda, hej.

  18. Qeghdin Sew says:

    Anzi, JPO jidher li kien l-iktar diċenti fil-pubbliku. Ara Daniel Craig, m’hemmx kummenti.

  19. Aston says:

    ….but where are his bodyguards?

    • Not Tonight says:

      Having a drink with Herrera’s entourage. Herrera looks much like a thug himself (and probably is) so JPO has no reason to fear attack.

      And honestly, would anyone try to mess with Consuelo? She seems quite capable of gouging your eyes out if you so much as cross her path.

    • Interested Bystander says:

      The threat has specific hours: every other Wednesday, 19:00 to 20:40.

  20. The dummy should have worn a clown suit.

  21. Peter F says:

    Daphne, for once I’m sure you’re wrong.

    No well-brought-up person would dare dine without a shirt on. Please double check your sources before publishing inaccurate information.

  22. sasha says:

    For heaven’s sake, isn’t getting married once even to the love of your life enough to teach you “I will never go through all that trauma and expense of a wedding reception etc again”.

    Elope, get married on a beach, and come quietly to Malta again.

    Oh and please wear attire that is suitable for the second wedding of middle-aged people. You know, something classic like a plain silk suit or dress would suffice, and never in virgin white or lace.

    Well at least business is going to start thriving again on second weddings – as distinct from second marriages.

  23. MoBi says:

    Grey tie, grey hair, 50 shades of grey…there’s a joke in there somewhere.

    Although I wouldn’t be surprised if any joke turned out to be an actual record of what happened.

  24. Anna says:

    Daphne, life in Malta would become slightly bearable if you had to learn how to thank God for little mercies.

    At least his wedding and honeymoon party kept him out of our faces for a fortnight or so.

    And now that his euphoria is over, he’s back to blabbering to the media again.

    [Daphne – Quite frankly, I don’t think there was or is any euphoria but quite the opposite. His behaviour and actions since his divorce came through and he acquired the ability to marry again have been those of a miserable man in conflict, trapped and panicking. The truth is that there was no way out of this one for him. The clue to the real nature of this relationship is in the fact that they move around in a pack of associates, and seem reluctant to spend time together alone, even on their honeymoon. What we will see now is a period of post facto resignation, after the months of emotional and mental turmoil which manifested themselves in all sorts of ways, from parliament to Facebook, between last October and last month.]

  25. johnusa says:

    “putting the country through all that trauma” .. so you are one of those who still think we should not have legislated divorce.

    [Daphne – No, I am not. I voted for divorce legislation.]

  26. mattie says:

    Who’d bother about having a second white wedding, followed by a big party, at age 41? Only those who live in denial and choose to never grow up.

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