You’re right, dear readers, the first Labour porn has been made already

In-Nazzjon’s reportage of the first Labour porn film, made inside Labour HQ and featuring the Labour Party’s propaganda secretary in congress with several Labour pom-pom girls.

Several of you have rushed to message, email and comment that Michelle Muscat, despite her quite public fascination with porn, can’t keep herself busy by creating the first Labour porn to raise funds for the party.

Stephen Ciantar, the Labour Party’s propaganda secretary in the early 1990s, beat her to it. Oh yes, I’d almost forgotten about that. It was unbelievably hysterical.

I’ll bet my younger readers are not going to believe it.

Back in those days before they had built the glamorous new HQ in Hamrun, the Labour Party was headquartered in a historical building down at Senglea, called Il-Macina.

Back then, it also had a propaganda secretary, Stephen Ciantar, whose role was what Kurt the Coconut’s is today, except that in those days the name was more factual and honest than ‘communications coordinator’.

Also back then, in those pre-enlightened, pre-liberal, pre-progressive days, the Labour Party also had a troupe of half-naked cheerleaders to rev up its meetings. They were called – please, believe me, it’s true- the POM-POM GIRLS.

One day around 1990, it was discovered entirely by accident, when a porn video ended up in the wrong (right) hands, that Labour’s propaganda secretary had been starring in amateur porn films of his own making, in congress with Labour’s Pom-Pom Girls. The exciting setting for this particular porn film was not the back of a lorry, or some desperate housewife’s kitchen, or a six-star hotel, or a mega-yacht. No, it was – and very recognisably so – Labour HQ at Il-Macina.

You can imagine the fall-out. Labour’s propaganda secretary ended up having to leave Malta for years.