Let’s face facts: childcare has nothing to do with it
At seminar this morning, organised by the Reggie Miller Foundation, it was reported that Malta has the second lowest fertility rate in the EU but also one of the highest rates of inactive women in the workforce.
Malta’s fertility rate is 1.38 births per woman of child-bearing age, and there are nearly 113,000 inactive women under 61.
Comparisons to Italy highlight the real source of the problem and it has nothing to do with childcare. Italy has Europe’s lowest fertility rate but there, it is considered normal behaviour for women to work and abnormal for a woman not to work or have a career even if she is married to a magnate.
A woman’s dignity is linked to her participation in the workforce and there is little or no reflected status/dignity derived from being ‘the wife of X’. Even a multi-millionaire’s wife will make a point of having a separate career identity for herself, because it’s not about the money, but about self-respect.
Yet in Malta we are still in the 1950s era of women who say proudly that they don’t have to work and men who say determinedly that their wife has no need to ‘go out to work’. In other words, self-respect is tied to the very opposite of what it is in more developed societies: in Malta it’s linked to a woman ‘not needing’ to work, rather than to having a job or career and finding dignity (and earning power) in that.
Italy’s low birth rate is linked to women’s desire to stay relevant in the workforce. In Malta, it is clearly not. We have the second lowest birthrate but our women aren’t working either.
This is what happens when you link dignity to not working rather than to working.
And we must also consider that laziness has a lot to do with it. It’s a lot easier to say home and live off somebody else (though very risky) than it is to work and look after children and the home.
I’m not talking about older generations of women here. Even until my own generation, Maltese society and culture militated wholeheartedly against women who wanted to stay in the workforce after having children. Up until the generation before mine, they militated against women staying in the workforce after getting married, even if they had no children.
Though there is still some of that in the more backward pockets across all strata of society, there is now no excuse except lack of cooperation from recalcitrant husbands and parents who disapprove. Going by the many women I’ve spoken to, that’s a major obstacle. A woman can’t look after home and children while her husband is waging a war of passive aggression and making things more difficult for her than they would be without him. But among a significant number of other women, the real problem is laziness.
They see no point in getting out of their comfort zone and here’s the real stumbling-block: the only jobs they’re qualified to do are menial or mind-numbing, so they see no point in doing them. They reckon that they are better off doing nothing than doing something they don’t like.
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Daphne, you must see this, and comment… This is so blasphemous.
http://www.independent.com.mt/articles/2013-04-24/news/mintoff-museum-could-be-housed-in-new-parliament-building-1452507139/
Well, that should go down well with Astrid Vella and Kenneth Zammit Tabona. Hope they’re pleased with wat they’ve done with their vote.
Incidentally, take a look at the new board of directors of Water Services Corporation. Nikita Zammit Alamango got her iced bun, as did Tony Meilak.
How they can place people aged 24 or under on the boards of major companies (Nakita at WSC, and Josianne Cutajar on the Gozo Channel board) beggars belief, honestly.
There again, I’m not surprised. After all, 27-year-old Ian Borg is responsible for our EU funds, having only had the massive experience of being mayor of Had-Dingli as well as a lawyer for the past two years.
And what about Qormi Mayor aka Nuxellina. Did she get a post with the government or private sector? She was in the front line.
The famous Simshar Widow would be a classic example of this article.
I think the Simshar widow has bigger problems than laziness.
And where does the mentality of staying home come from?
It’s in built in our culture through religion. The church is still very influential on these people. They make them believe that by going out to work they are not holding their – allow me to use the proper word in Maltese like Chiara – dover (duty).
My great-grandmother was a midwife, my grandmother a housekeeper and my mum worked as a supervisor.
I recall children at school trying to make fun of the fact that my mother worked. I never understood it. But today thanks to the previous administration they can retrain themselves and do a better job.
“I recall children at school trying to make fun of the fact that my mother worked. I never understood it. But today thanks to the previous administration they can retrain themselves and do a better job.”
Religion might not be the sole reason.
In my school days, working mothers were perceived as a sign of weakness and financial necessity (“kellu jibgħat lill-mara taħdem!”) whereas stay-at-home mums were considered a sign of affluence.
This obviously doesn’t always make sense, but I still think this rotten mentality prevails until this very day. Your average Madliena MILF is likely to spend her day toiling away …at the gym.
Why do you think women would listen to the Church on this issue in this day and age, when they clearly do not on so many others?
‘there is little or no reflected status/dignity derived from being ‘the wife of X’. So much so that Italian women even retain their maiden surname.
Not just “Italian women” but all women who get married and continue to live in Italy.
In Italy, women who do not work are actually ashamed to admit it – when asked, they try to justify it and it’s usually because they cannot find a job.
But then again, we do not have a Marsa Sports Club here where we can hang around all day for idle gossiping and bitching.
Interesting note on the seminar itself: the National Commission for the Promotion of Equality was not invited to attend. I wonder why?
I beg to differ that the real problem is laziness. I tend to notice a very warped sense of “qamel”, to use the very graphic Maltese term.
Many seem to consider payment for babysitters as very much a waste of money and make full use of family members (grandparents) for free childcare service.
Others burden themselves with doing a substantial amount of housework and only avail themselves of limited house help of a few hours a week, if at all. Maltese seem to overlook the “opportunity cost” of not having a career which earns a lot more than the money spent on house help or baby sitters.
This mentality seems to prevail in many Maltese family businesses where the MD works long hours, late in the evenings, performing administrative tasks which could easily be delegated to a secretary or a PA. Eh , but that’s a salary saved, they argue.
But then it’s OK to own a boat costing a few hundred thousand euros. And again, you see these boat owners washing their boat themselves, rather than paying for someone to do it (they also complain about the cost of fuel and berthing fees).
Perhaps I’ve gone off at a tangent, but the spending habits and cost savings many Maltese engage in are strange to say the least. I’m quite convinced that some mothers would rather not work than pay for childcare or house help. Perhaps I’m wrong.
[Daphne – It’s not so much the money spent on having the house cleaned and the ironing done (“what? you pay someone to do the ironing?”) as having somebody else do it in the first place. There seems to be an inherent sense of ‘sin’ (as in waste) with paying other people to clean your house or iron your clothes or wash your windows. Taking a taxi falls into the same category. Haven’t you noticed how Maltese people will NEVER take a taxi if they can help it? Ma tarax, tiehu taxi, x’hala ta’ flus. The concept of money being there to save time and avoid inconvenience just does not exist. A few years ago I was in a European capital with a delegation of Maltese. We had to go from the hotel to a restaurant when we didn’t know the way there or how long it would take by public transport. I suggested we take a couple of taxis which, with four people per taxi, would have cost us, at the very most, EUR3 each, and we would have got there comfortably, on time, and with no need for the women to wear walking shoes. But I was immediately over-ruled, the word ‘taxi’ going down like ‘gold bath full of asses’ milk with dancing nymphs in attendance, all to be billed to your Visa account’. There was no proper public transport available, so we spent the best part of 40 minutes finding our way there on foot with a map. Before we left, I was sorely tempted to say to them, ‘f**k this’ and jump into a taxi, saying to them ‘see you there’. But then I thought the last thing I needed was to spend the rest of the two days in close contact with people saying ‘Maaaa, kemm hi antipatika, miskina. Il-vera tan-n**k.’ But honestly. I mean, HONESTLY. And these were all grown-ups with well-paid proper jobs, not hard-up students. They then thought nothing of spending double that on a whisky, but a taxi is a sin.]
Not true, Many Maltese women do not work and still have a house help and a babysitter. Some actually take the babysitter to the Marsa Club to mind the kids while they play tennis.
It’s laziness and showing off.
“I married a wealthy man and I therefore do not need to work because, let’s face it, that has always been my lifelong ambition.”
Maltese people do not even use a carpark – they would rather spend one hour going round in circles to find a free parking space on some street, to save just a few euros, or so they think.
There were occassions when our evenings were completely ruined by “friends” turning up very late for dinner in a restaurant, for example, simply because they refuse to park their car in a pay-parking lot even though they can well afford it.
Qamel galore.
Spot on. I agree with you. When my grandmother had outpatient visits she always made use of a taxi. Kienu jghidu kemm hi kiesha u x’ tahseb li hi.
In fact they never knew she was unable to travel by bus after a bypass operation which was held in the UK and left her with two bad sores on both legs.
Anke the fact li kienet tahdem kienu jghidu qishom mejtin bil-guh. She did it only because she believed in working.
She always bought her stuff and was never a kept woman. X’mentalita. Imma li johorgu jahdmu for an unskilled job is very true li ma jmorrux ghax ma jaqbilhomx.
This happened to a friend of mine.
After twelve years living off social benefits, she decided to find a course to retrain herself because she did not want to clean houses or work in a factory. Today she passed the course with distinction and she’s in care working. All they need is encouragement.
“Gold bath full of asses’ milk with dancing nymphs in attendance, all to be billed to your Visa account” and they refused it?!
I don’t think it was a Maltese EU delegation.
To be fair, though, my experience of taxis in Malta is not a good one; they tend to over-charge and try to take advantage of foreigners.
I try to avoid them because I just don’t get a good return for the money I pay. Thankfully, I know this isn’t the case in most cases abroad, so I do make use of taxi services there.
But I also understand where the inherent dislike for taxis in Malta comes from and/or why it is exacerbated.
Agree with you completely. Have you ever been in a group abroad (not family) trying to find and agree on a restaurant, excluding hamburger joints? The mantra is to save on food and accomodation so as to spend more on shopping.
I use both black and white taxis; with the latter speak to the driver in Maltese and agree on fare before stepping into taxi.
As for paying for parking, ma tarax; how many times friends have arrived really very late and spoilt everybody’s evening as the driver (usually the husband) insisted on finding a parking slot usually about a mile away.
One wonders what effect, forcing women out of their careers in the golden days, left on the national psyche.
When he found himself abandoned by all stakeholders, unions foremost, he just had to give in. The MUT and MUBE saw to it.
His preferred category in the ‘textile’ industry, sweat shops, wasn’t as lucky. I know people who had their life completely stunted with Mintoff’s dabbling with social engineering.
Others will, to this day, refuse the plain truth. Being Mintoffian meant following his philosophy faithfully. That implied kazini, bocci, kacca and institutionalised bigotry.
Is-suldati tal-azzar.
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20130429/local/-We-have-to-be-viewed-as-an-inclusive-party-.467569
Another reason women don’t go back to school to retrain is because they’re stupid.
There, I’ve said it.
And by stupid I mean women who rely on their husbands for everything – the house budget, which bloody cable service to use, permission to buy a dress for the feast (please shoot me), and if she’s really lucky, he’ll even buy her a matching bag and shoes.
There is no amount of free time (something I sorely need) that can compensate for living like this.
If you’re that stupid to rely on pocket money in adulthood and have no autonomy, and you don’t have a certain level of education, then you haven’t got the wits to get a proper education now. Your critical thinking is not developed enough. It’s already too late.
I just had my first child 6 months ago and i’m back at work. It was tough at first but now I’m glad I took the plunge and made an effort to get back into the work force. I feel my husband respects me more for my decision.
It is certainly easier staying home and taking care of children and the home.
It takes a lot of stamina to go back out there.
The scary thing is that amongst all my friends I’m one of the only ones who went back to work after having a child. They end up talking nappies, sterilisers, babysensory classes, meeting at the Kitchen Garden, baby has a tooth etc… and I’m thinking, goodness, if this is all they can talk about then no wonder their husbands love going on endless boys’ nights, boys’ trips etc.
I have an 11 month old baby and no, I don’t talk only about nappies, sterilizers etc. I do work – it’s a 24/7 job which does not get real pay at the end of the month.
I think now we are discriminating the other way round; if you don’t go back to work you’re going to end up as a fat stupid woman.
My husband is a hands-on father and spends lots of his free time with our daughter, and never dreamed of going to boys’ nights etc.
I think you are making too many sweeping statements. One should ask, if I go back to work what are the options?
Not everyone one has family support to keep the baby.
So some opt to stay home and do the job themselves instead of dumping the baby at a child care and end up working for the child care.
At last someone with a different opinion – there should not be any hard and fast rules on this. If the couple are happy and their life is organised in their particular way good luck to them.
Daphne, I think you are generalising too much. I worked for 18 years before I got pregnant the first time and throughout those 18 years my employer always prefered male employees.
I know they were paid better than me and just had to lump it because there has been no administration so far who has addressed the issue unequal salaries.
[Daphne – You are wrong. Equal pay for equal work has been the law for years. You had a case and you should have taken it up. At least pay is something you can prove, unless the ‘subtle’ discrimination and constant undermining that so many women have to endure in so many places of work.]
I was more qualified than my collegues and yet it did not count. I did not skive work and did my job well. I sacrificed my personal life postponing motherhood because of the job I was unappreciated for and it is one of my deepest regrets.
I feel that some women choose to stay home simply because their experience of motherhood out-beats the work experience.
What gives the right to anybody to judge me or any other mother that thinks that being a mother, is a priority. To make sure that my children come home to a home? Society is a total screw up because the family unit has fallen apart, kids no longer have the security of finding anybody at home to talk about their day. Family values and safety do a lot more for a child for the rest of his life, than parents that make up for their neglect by buying children material things.
I have worked and been a mother – that is definitely the easiest option than being a full time mother. Please Daphne unless you have been a full time mother, don’t accuse anybody of being lazy.