The MALTA MEN EXPO – living the fantasy in the land of fat dwarves and spiteful midgets
After the Malta Men Expo was launched this morning by Jo’s friend Edward Zammit Lewis, I took a look at their promotional website.
Talk about fantasy land. Whatever they’re dreaming of, it’s certainly not your average Maltese man.
The expo is going to be divided into four sections – this being a project about, men devised by men, it goes without saying that we are going to have compartmentalisation into boxes.
They are:
THE ADVENTURER
A man defined by his love for the great outdoors. His life pulsates with adrenaline as he turns fear into excitement.
THE FAMILY MAN
Defined by his selflessness and strong arms, which he uses to carry, protect and provide for his family.
THE ENTREPRENEUR
Daring and intelligent. He assumes the risk of creating his own fortune, and reaps the benefits! through purpose-driven action.
THE ATHLETE
A fine-tuned machine. Every fiber of his being is geared towards one purpose – mastery over his own body, victory over himself
That’s how they’re described on the website. Here’s my take on it, though being a woman I’d have stayed away from those boxes or done them very differently.
THE ADVENTURER
Returns home after his big adventure with a pile of laundry and believes that it will wash itself. If his wife is too busy, he will take it to his mother, who will also provide him with lunch while the heavy dirt programme plays itself out.
THE FAMILY MAN
He is defined by his selflessness and strong arms, yet can’t change a nappy without passing out. When his wife/girlfriend asks him to look after the children while she pops down to the shops, he immediately logs onto Facebook to tell the world that he is ‘babysitting’ (with his own children).
THE ENTREPRENEUR
Look, I’d better not get started on this. People can be so touchy.
THE ATHLETE
Runs and swims round the island, then refer to ‘The Adventurer’ above.
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http://maltamenexpo.com/exhibitor-area/
What a load of crap!
Think I’ll send this website off to ‘The Onion’. Fits right in.
I suspect this expo is just an excuse to flog “The North Face” branded goods in the Adventurer pavilion.
http://www.avaaz.org/en/petition/Education_Minister_Evarist_Bartolo_To_review_the_new_subject_weightings_and_conditions_of_Art_Education/?duxeigb&pv=4
It s going to be pretty tough finding an adventurer and athlete in the laziest country in the world. Although I can only imagine what it’s going to be like – a self obsessed muscle Mary and a man in a Land Rover.
That athlete, I’m worried about what he’s going to be made to wear. I’ve seen male “models” in Malta. They always plaster their entire body with oil to get that shiny look. So artificial. Hope they don’t go for that.
But even all this is besides the point. What is it with the Labour Party and being so sexual? It’s like the whole party is made up of sexually oppressed men who are in search of emancipation.
I’d say Muscat is probably the biggest flirt of them all. If I didn’t know any better, I would say that there is a lot of sex going on in the Labour Party.
If Saviour put his niggling thoughts into print he’d tell us all about this intended focus by Labour on sex and “de gers.”
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People who study earth energy lines (not me) would have a lot to say about this:
Between Western and Eastern Europe, what is visible is that the energy is male, or female. Where it is male, whole populations see beauty developing in the male; where it is female that beauty, and power, encapsulates in the female.
Italy, for the same reason that saw Alexander go to the East, is purported to be the dividing line.
In places like Latvia, the beauty of the female is astounding and the plainness of the male is remarkable. What is it about the same genetic pool that creates this?
I’d say Malta is Middle-Eastern or Oriental in this line of thinking: the male outshone by the female, but with pretensions nonetheless. It is only the exceptions that stand out atypically and extraordinarily, when the genetic pool throws up commendable examples of its diversity.
One would then need to reflect on how that power is wielded and displayed. In the home? externally? In the run-up to a coupling/ marriage?
Why the Middle-Eastern focus is on the eyes and why such genetic pools have by choice and evolution produced interesting and seductive eyes.
What are you ON about?
As for the Middle East, it’s easy – it’s the only bit we’re allowed to see. Ooh I’ve done it now. The PC brigade will come down on me like a sandstorm.
The Adventurer: Joseph Muscat wearing North Face.
The Family Man: Joseph Muscat posing with Etoile and Soleil.
The Entrepreneur: Joseph Muscat selling passports.
The Athlete: Joseph Muscat at the gym.
There’s a cosmetics section in The Athlete Pavilion. Is that where they sell the spray on hair volumiser?
The Entrepreneur: Leasing his family saloon to the government.
The Athlete: Walking instead of running at the President’s fun run.
Perhaps the organisers might consider widening the list of categories to include:
THE LOUNGER
Smart, laid back, relaxed and cool. Never far from a stool or a bench where he can enjoy his summer nights out sitting down eating burgers with chips ‘n’ salad, with Jack Coke or a beer. Bare chested, or open shirted, always on the look out for adventure, with his thick gold necklace and a small poodle or bird in a cage under his lap.
What is on the exhibit?
– fine dining
– high end fashion
– culture and arts
– solid gold jewellery
– designer dog breeds
– dental floss
– hair gel
– antiperspirants and cosmetics
– tattoos and skin care products
– hair removal and cosmetic surgery
Where do all the obese men fit in?
http://www.independent.com.mt/mobile/2014-03-26/news/maltese-becoming-even-more-sedentary-eu-survey-shows-4375248897/
Saw the item on Tvm.com.mt…between bare chests and a story on Natius conducting a marriage ceremony for a trans, I really do not know which story is most cringe-worthy.
Daphne, you are too generous in your assessment.
What a load of machismo bull.
Are there only four types of men on this sinking rock?
What about science? Entertainment? Medical? Men who might actually make a difference to the bigger picture?
It’s an appeal to vanity. People (not just men) who really do stuff don’t expect to be celebrated.
Like any other Middle-Eastern country, the three spheres you mentioned can be bought or bought in.
Another confirmation that this is a fascist government:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Model_of_masculinity_under_fascist_Italy
http://theibtaurisblog.com/2012/05/08/alfonsina-strada-sexual-confusion-in-mussolinis-italy/
You are absolutely right.
Your source says: “Fascist anti-modernism is a political ideology that consists of these salient elements: ruralism, anti-urbanism, anti-intellectualism, anti-bourgeoisie, anti-feminism, and pro-natalism.”
It explains how rural men were deemed to be excellent examples of masculinity: “… with their sobriety, the strength of their bared arms, tanned by the sun, and their savage resistance to work and fatigue, represented … a solemn lesson in virility.”
Notice how they are not including a section for “Intellectuals,” for instance, in the Maltese Man Expo.
Sounds very progressive and liberal.
Ciccio, The fact that most people do not realise that Labour is very worrying. Not that I am an age where I need to worry about anything, but still… Never has Malta been so alarmingly bad.
Seriously now, has Labour been reading my six years’ worth of rants, one by one, and carefully crafting ways to rile me?
Because really. I mean “the entrepreneur”. The “athlete”. I can already tell who the lectotype for each will be. It’ll be wall-to-wall real estate, engineering gizmos, financial services, Mount Everests and Marathons des Sables. Oh, plus that clay pigeon wotsisname.
I have no doubt whatsoever that this blog is carefully vetted by Labour and every bit of information gleaned and examined.
Each novelty, grammatical and conceptual, placed under a microscope in the Labour survival lab.
Mostly for the purpose of reinvention and reinterpretation.
To apply to their gaps in thinking if they manage to absorb it in time.
To plot an escape route to issues they rush in with.
To educate themselves beyond the piles of certificates and “meritocratic” placements in hand.
To check for absolute limits where they have no clue of any.
To decide what gets to be seen and what doesn’t.
So they must have sussed I’m in a complete minority and if they do the exact opposite, they’ll have the majority behind them. Well I never.
What about us rotting, decrepit, demented dinosaurs (and that includes a nice big slice of the cabinet)?
Where do we fit in?
I hope we get a Maltanzjan Expo at some later stage.
I just occurred to me that the sake of gender equality and all that liberal progressive stuff, the government should organise a MALTA WOMEN EXPO forthwith.
Here’s my suggestions for the four categories:
THE ADVENTURESS
A woman defined by love for extramarital affairs. Her life pulsates with adrenaline as she turns the frisson of pleasure into the ecstasy of illicit excitement.
THE FAMILY WOMAN
Defined by her classy outfit and sexy make-up, which she uses to mop up, do the washing and change nappies, while singing pop ballads.
THE BUSINESSWOMAN
Ruthless and rapacious for the moneyed man. She assumes the risk of creating her own fortune by laying off her employees, and reaps the benefits through tax breaks and offshore accounts.
THE ATHLETE
A buff, toned sex machine. Every fibre of her smooth, silky body is geared towards one purpose – mastur—er—mastery of he horizontal sport, and coming first.
Will this do?
“Defined by his selflessness and strong arms, which he uses to carry, protect and provide for his family.”
Woah.
Surely they were having a laugh when they wrote these things?
Dammit, Labour just don’t get it.
“The event will draw in and engage men on multiple levels through brands, entertainment and educational content, creating a sense of community and belonging, and more importantly trust.”
What a load of crap. Why don’t they say that it is a ‘modern’ (to us their word one more time) version of a trade fair.
And yes, the name of the game is trust. We believe you.
Daphne is right. ‘Jo’ had promised “the most feminist government.” Why is it that it seems that his best friend, Parliamentary Secretary Edward Zammit Lewis, is excluding that women can be adventurous, family persons, entrepreneurial and athletes?
Just look at the kind of products they expect to put on display: outdoor products, automotive, sports products, furniture, real estate, tools and machinery, insurance, culture and arts, cosmetic, medical, and so forth.
So according to this government, an expo for women would be one where the products on exhibit would consist of kitchen sinks, washing machines, tumble driers, cookers, washing liquids and powders, cleaning materials, nappies and linen.
The only toys at the Family Man Pavilion will be the sort that men buy for themselves. It’ll be wall-to-wall wide screen TVs and other useless expensive gadgetry.
It’s always about us: http://www.inewsmalta.com/dart/20140326-studju-dwar-kif-tista-tintlaqat-malta-sanzjonijiet-mill-ue-fuq-ir-russja
Are there actually any straight men in Malta?
A few, Ken, yes.
With all the serious things happening on the island, it’s very surprising that people in power organise expos. It is an in-between method to create jobs perhaps?
By serious things I mean..
-the rise in unemployment statistics
-paedophiles who are given 12-16 months in jail for child abuse
-church abuse victims who are no longer heard in the media. At least up to over a year ago, these where given the opportunity to speak out
-LNG Gas Storage ships which are causing concern to the people in the Southern parts of Malta – so much concern that the laburisti ta’ veru are calling Net TV to express their concerns
-Village festas in the south are a growing concern with ships loaded with gas in their way-I wonder if these can happen
-Mater Dei and people in long queues, people treated in corridors exposed to draughts and other unhygienic situations
-Out of stock medicines which force one to go buy the medicine they need to keep taking till forever
-Parking problems which are causing havoc in all parts of Malta; no alternatives offered
-Public Transport problems which are worse than they’ve ever been so I keep hearing
-Rise in the cost of living
-Bad roads
-Dirt everywhere – Paceville is as dirty as it has never been
-local councils 0 seem to be out of funds – you call them for this and that, very basic things and the answer is: ‘mhux tort taghna he’.
Mad world.
You have too many people on Malta and Gozo.
An ideal population number should be between 120,000 to 140,000, with very few tourists in the summer months.
The business example of ever growing numbers and profits and just more of everything year after year on a tiny 122 square mile bit of rocky land is not sustainable or healthy, both physically and mentally.
What about the section that would have the most entrants: The Cunt?
I leave it to the rest of you to fill in the attributes.
The expo will be opened by Jo himself.
Well, Jo wasn’t lying about his being a feminist government. But metro sexual is so, so yesterday.
Is this real?! What a nonsense event.
A MALTA MAN waxing lyrical – you have to admit, he has a way with words.
http://www.maltapark.com/item.aspx?ItemID=3074959
It appears to me that this stinks of arrogant male chauvinism at its worst. How come no women’s groups have commented about it?
There should be a magician category for men who manage to commit crime and get unbelievable sentences.
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20140327/local/two-hunters-who-bribed-policeman-have-jail-sentence-converted-to-suspended-term.512459
http://www.maltatoday.com.mt/news/national/5593/constable-told-commissioner-that-he-took-bribes-to-pay-utilty-and-cable-tv-bills#.UzRSsvldV8E
AND whatever happened to the policeman who they bribed?