NEXOS: Manuel Mallia’s and Do You Know Who I Am’s sikrit weppin

Published: April 7, 2014 at 9:53am


The prime minister, his bast frand Edward Zammit Lewis and around 40 other people, including the new favourite Chris Fearne, Michael Falzon and Labour MP Joe Sammut, have received medical treatment for vision problems and skin-burning. The prime minister was admitted to hospital at 2am today. Cyrus Engerer is still in hospital under observation, having suffered burning to his face and eyes.

All those other people were sitting immediately behind the prime minister in a tent during some Labour Party thing in Zurrieq yesterday morning. The tent had artificial lighting and Times of Malta reports that the police think the cause might be “related to lighting and excessive UV exposure caused by a possible problem with UV filters”.

It’s not been a good couple of weeks for Nexos, the company owned by Police, Army and Broadcasting Minister Manuel Mallia’s chief of staff, Silvio ‘Do You Know Who I Am’ Scerri.

First there was that unpleasant business while the stage was set up for Gensna, and now the prime minister and his court favourites (with collateral damage) have been targetted with UV rays in a stealth attack cunningly devised by Do You Know Who I Am’s secret agents at Nexos.

Does Manuel Mallia have plans for world domination, we wonder, starting by zapping the PM and his mates with UV rays?

But we shouldn’t worry: his policemen, led by by his puppet-appointee Peter Paul Zammit, are investigating his chief of staff’s company. So that’s all right then.

55 Comments Comment

  1. Ivan says:

    Manwel ‘Faberge Eggs’ Mallia was wearing a special pair of UV-deflecting glasses. He was sitting close to Jo.

    But Nexos are really having a bad patch. I’m sure Silvio ‘Do You Know Who I Am’ Scerri will have quite a few questions to answer.

    • Gahan says:

      Technically Silvio does not officially own Nexos now.

      • Ivan says:

        Yes sure. Technically. So we’re made to believe he let off completely of his company. There are various ways of ‘keeping contact’ with a company – even through relatives or related companies.

  2. Magister says:

    Who wants to bet that this incident will be dubbed as a PN sabotage attempt?

    In all probability, this ‘sabotage’ rumour was already circling the grocery stores in Zurrieq, Ghaxaq, Gudja, Kirkop…

    • E.S. Inglott says:

      As usual just blame it on the PN. What proof do you have that the PN sabotaged such a thing. I believe they have better things to do.

    • Dr.Cosman says:

      By any chance, you live in the other-Malta jaqaw? Is there a particular reason why you mentioned those localities or is it just that you are as ignorant as those who think that the PN has orchestrated the whole thing?

      I guess the average IQ of a grocery patron in Sliema, St Julians, Pemborke is around 140? right? Because if that is not the case, well your argument is as petty as can be!!!

    • The Mole says:

      Made it to St. Venera this morning.

  3. Kevin says:

    Damn, there goes my eco-terrorism conspiracy theory that it was all SimonPN’s doing.

  4. Alex says:

    If this lot are not able to safely procure a basic tent and lighting, why trust them with a LNG tanker? Perhaps the 2-mile evacuation should be implemented beforehand?

    • Tabatha White says:

      Just as with the LNG tanker, was the tent necessary in the first place or simply a convoluted structure for reward and payment?

      • H.P. Baxxter says:

        The Maltese love their tents, bless ’em. Golden Years habits die hard. Perhaps a couple of camels to add to the ambience?

      • Gaetano Pace says:

        Bear in mind that the weather and Marlene were both threatening on the day.

      • Martin Felice says:

        Donkeys and monkeys were in abundance both inside and outside the tent.

  5. Gahan says:

    Don’t get too near Joseph or you may get burned.

    They can’t organise a piss-up in a brewery, let alone run a country.

  6. H.P. Baxxter says:

    So the PM isn’t brightest after all.

  7. pablo says:

    Some UV lighting and tent expert preliminary report said the odds of it happening were remote, only once in 10,000 years.

  8. ZORRO says:

    I am truly sorry for their eye problems and hope they recover well but I cannot help wondering how long they waited at Mater Dei Emergency.Wonder if they were greeted by “Mur poggi u stenna!!! “

  9. Viva Malta says:

    Jo seemed OK sipping wine whilst having lunch at Tarragon yesterday with Edward and Elena Zammit Lewis and Keith Schembri and his wife.

  10. edgar says:

    Miskin hadu f’ghajnu Joseph Muscat.

  11. Peppa Pig says:

    Tan-Nexos ahjar jibghat ghal Fr Gordon Refalo u Patri Mintoff halli jiskungrawlu l-apparat ma jmurx dahallu xi ciribedudu fil- plakek.

  12. Joe Fenech says:

    Karma goes a long way: you act naively and vote in a corrupt government , and there you are !

  13. Joe Fenech says:

    So does Nexos have an exclusive contract with the government?

  14. ciccio says:

    Eddy Privitera on comments board:

    “No one should speculate. Seems the lighting is the cause. Still I believe this is the first time such a thing happened during a political activity. Anyway, wishing all those affected a quick recovery.”

    No one should speculate, but he can. Enough said.

  15. Tabatha White says:

    Some things are simply an act of God.

    Iftah ghajnejk ghalmenu jekk ma tismax.

  16. bob-a-job says:

    ‘First there was that unpleasant business while the stage was set up for Gensna, and now the prime minister and his court favourites (with collateral damage) have been targetted with UV rays’

    If this is indeed some kind of omen, Cyrus will be pleased.

  17. verita says:

    I hope they spent the night on a stretcher or in a corridor like we common people are doing.

  18. EVC says:

    Qed jaqlahha tajjeb tat-tined. Kull fejn imur il-Prim jaghmel tinda. Ahjar ghamel wahda u go fiha qalilna fuq ir-rizenji u r-reshuffle, mhux ma qal xejn. Din tal UV ma tantx hi konvincenti ghax ma tantx kienet xemx nhar il-Hadd !!!!!!!!!!!

  19. Foggy says:

    Perhaps Silvio ‘Do You Know Whom I Am’ Scerri is a Nationalist double agent.

  20. Jozef says:

    Can you imagine using his equipment to light up the LNG Gemini to celebrate Joseph’s success?

  21. Gaetano Pace says:

    One simple question. Were any illegal immigrants involved in the erection of this tent and the stage at “Gensna” ? Was this the effect of cheap labour on a very rewarding contract of tent supply ?

  22. ken il malti says:

    The Russian embassy was just trying out its anti-gay ray gun.

  23. Ġames says:

    Now it makes sense. Franco Mercieca retired just in time. he can now see them as his clients.

    We certainly have a PM bla viżjoni now.

  24. Jozef says:

    It must be Marlene Farrugia.

    That’s the second sortie into her territory post reshuffle.

    • curious says:

      Or it was Karmenu Vella’s doing. What’s with Zurrieq lately? Konrad Mizzi went to have his press conference there and now this.

      • Jozef says:

        Rumour has it Muscat went yesterday after Mizzi failed to attract any crowd.

        Muscat may have asked Silvio to make his eyes a bit more zoroq.

  25. verita says:

    La hemm suspett fuq NEXOS jintesa kollox u addio inkjesti mil pulizzijja u magistratura

  26. Harry Purdie says:

    It appears our ‘visionary’ PM will have to lower his sights, shades anyone?

  27. lino says:

    His vision has been blurred for more than a year now.

  28. Perhaps Silvio Scerri had better quit his new job and go back to his company before something worse happens. “Il-borma fuq tlieta toqghod.”

  29. nemesis says:

    The ultimate proof that the sun really does shine out of his ass.

  30. Ta'sapienza says:

    The secret weapon was a ‘Men in black’ neuralyzer memory eraser. Joseph and co. are suffering over exposure from too much use or forgetting the shades.

  31. Claude says:

    Now we know what’s killing all the PM’s follicles.

  32. P Sant says:

    X’ma jaharquhx ghajnejh, ilu hames snin jibilghu f’ghajnu bil-poplu Malti.

  33. janeff says:

    Jien dejjem kelli t-tama li xi darba tal MLP/PL jaraw id dawl, imma qatt ma kont nobsor li d-dawl kellu jkun Ultra Violet.

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