WATCH: Michelle Muscat’s brand-new face on display in government propaganda video

Muscat had a spate of testimonials from all sorts of people in the 2013 general election campaign. But this time round, this is the best that he can do: Felix Busuttil (retired dancer on the state payroll), Claudette Abela Baldacchino (person of trust, Office of the Prime Minister), three septuagenarians – George Vella (Foreign Minister), Karmenu Vella (minister in the cabinets of every Labour prime minister since the 1970s, now European Commissioner nominated by Muscat) and the decrepit Louis Grech (Minister for Europe), and…himself, Joseph Muscat, lying outrageously through his teeth and saying “Malta’s economic success is a miracle because it has come in just one term of government, not over many years”.

Correction: it has been destroyed in one term in government, after having been over very many years, including the very EU membership he fought against and which he is now selling passports to.

As for his wife, apologies, SPOUSE – she’s beyond belief. “With him you can be who you are,” she says – as though this is somehow politically relevant or the general election is about electing a prime minister with whom people can be themselves. I suppose it’s because with him she can be who she is that she has changed her face completely.

And they actually say “Muscat has the respect of the whole of Europe” – oh, of course, and how. That would be why he is smeared across the pages of newspapers across the continent for a variety of scandalous reasons. Besides which, Europe is transfixed in admiration for the way he has handled the presidency of the European Council with such delightful smoothness and so much attention to the matters on the table.

The spouse’s new face in this just-published government propaganda video, in which she says: “With him you can be who you are”. So that would be why she felt she had to change her face, then.