Dawk il-kompjuters jiehdu x-xoghol

Published: March 7, 2008 at 2:38pm

Jason Micallef poses for the Super One cameras

Jason Micallef poses for the Super One cameras

Old Labour banned computers from the workspace because they took people’s jobs. New Labour doesn’t know what computers are for. Its feathered leader thinks that computers malfunction and magically spew out into electoral manifestos clauses and promises that weren’t there before. And in its long list of how to mess up education, the manifesto includes this absolute gem: a promise to find more people to ‘teach computers and informatics’.

Informatics. It’s been many years since I last heard that word, unless – hang on – somebody translated ‘informatika’ literally. As for teaching computers, well, I don’t know. I’ve tried very hard to teach mine to make me a cup of tea, but it just won’t learn.

Chicken Run Sant isn’t mad keen on communications technology. He doesn’t own a television because he finds television annoying. He doesn’t own a mobile phone because – he told an interviewer – he doesn’t like the idea that people can get in touch with him whenever and wherever (‘Tmissnix, jekk joghgbok.’). And now we discover that he doesn’t know about Amazon.com.

I never knew chickens could read

After the famous university debate from which he ran away clucking through a side exit, his peacock friend Jason hot on his heels, Chicken Run Sant had this to say in his tedious newspaper column in The Times:

At the end of the now infamous university ‘debate’ for party leaders, I was not whisked away from a side entrance. I just went there to pick up my coat. The fracas at the university was an organised partisan show of intolerance and immaturity, true, but it did not amount to a riot. I left from the main entrance, walked to the University bookstore and bought myself a book which I had intermittently shopped for over a number of years and finally found. Ironically, given what had just happened during the debate’, its title is Truth And Method.

Let’s leave aside the blatant lie that he left through the main entrance. I was there, and he did not – he rushed out through the back, Jason fanning his tail after him. What interests me here is Big Bird’s claim that he has been hunting for a book called Truth and Method for years. Jason the Peacock may not know about books and how to buy them on line, but it’s a safe bet that Joseph the Poodle does. So how come nobody explained to Big Bird how it’s done?

I logged on to www.amazon.com and keyed in Truth and Method. It’s available. All that the Big Chicken had to do was whip out his Visa and pay for it. Oh, please don’t tell me that he doesn’t own a credit card either.

Truth and Method, published in 1960, is the philosopher Hans-Georg Gadamer’s magnum opus. In it, he argues that truth and method are at odds with one another.

Gosh, no wonder our feathered friend was so keen to hunt it down (maybe he should have got the Lion of Romania to do it for him).

31 Comments Comment

  1. Clive B says:

    Can Jason and Co. help Sant learn how to smile and laugh.. would be more credible (la ma hemx sustanza)….

  2. Genome says:

    Jason & Co must have been playing on this webpage the past five years … otherwise they might have come up with something positive for the future … they probably haven’t made the 18 second barrier yet !!! Another five years practice might help !!!

  3. James Tanti says:

    Daphne, all that you’re writing and posting here today is illegal. The Electoral Commission is toothless against this flagrant abuse of the law of the land. It’s no excuse that you have your website hosted overseas. You’re just breaking the law. This is your last desperate attempt to try and save the sinking ship. On Sunday at noon you’ll know that all the venom against Alfred Sant and the Labour Party that you’ve splashed in the last five weeks, was all in vain, except that you’re now a little richer.

    [Moderator – richer? Let me guess, this site is paid for by the reptilian humanoids who inhabit the hollow earth below Herbert Ganado Street, Blata l-Bajda.]

  4. me says:

    Well Daphne, one of the first maxims I learned about computers ages ago, that is when they were illegal and one had to have an import license and make affidavits to get one, was ‘RUBBISH IN, RUBBISH OUT’.
    I wonder why some people cannot make heads or tails of computers.

  5. Corinne Vella says:

    James Tanti:
    “all that you’re writing and posting here today is illegal.”

    On your own admission, then, that makes you part of “this flagrant abuse of the law of the land”, doesn’t it?

  6. Corinne Vella says:

    James Tanti:

    Oh, and that puts Victor Laiviera into the same basket of flagrant abuse.

    Mind you, he’s too busy bringing the coconuts into the banana republic to notice any sort of flagrant abuse.

  7. Albert Farrugia says:

    Well said, James Tanti…though we might spare them the illegal part. I am soooo curious to read this site next Sunday afternoon…lol…we’ll hear more about Chicken Run in 48 hours time! Though we might offer them a drink. And no, I am not a Nationalist trying to make fellow Nationalists panic so that they do out to vote.

    [Moderator – I’m not really sure what this comment means, but see if you lot can have a jab at it.]

  8. Chris says:

    I’m no lawyer, so correct me if I’m wrong, but the law prohibits mass media from influencing voters. I don’t believe the law prohibits people from talking about politics today, even if they do so eloquently and entertainingly.

    As far as the law is concerned, this site is just a virtual representation of a citizen expressing her opinions, which she has every right to do.

    Then again, you know… All this computer-related techno mumbo-jumbo isn’t always easy to understand.

  9. Oh my my ... we're breaking the law! says:

    James Tanti…

    So if it is illegal, why are all the elves writing on various Maltese blogs praising Sant or playing the floater-turned-Labour converts?

    Worst is the fact that many of these blogs are based in Malta! … not like this “website hosted overseas”

  10. Amanda Mallia says:

    James Tanti – So are we to assume that others (try maltastar.com) are breaking the law too?

  11. joe muscat says:

    The truth is that if Labour of Bidu Gdid will be back in power, we will have back these type of controls over our lives. We will be controled what to say and when we say it. We will have once again the fear to speak out our thoughts. The promised Bidu Gdid is actually Inkomplu min fejn hallejna, Gvern tal-laburisti ghal laburisti and gwaj for who ever whispers a word kontra the choosen leaders for forever he will be presegwitat. The vote tomorrow will also be for the freedom of speech.

  12. Vanni says:

    @ mod
    Re Albert Farrugia’s

    I am guessing that the Chicken Run part is refering to when AS upped sticks at the BA. You know the run away part, after nobody phoned to order any crosscraft from him?

    Mind you it could also refer when he bolted from the side door at the uni.

    Hope it helps :D

  13. Albert Farrugia says:

    Well, its basically an invitation to you guys to come have a drink at one or other Labour Party club next Sunday evening…and not do a Chicken Run.

  14. Dumbledore says:


    Marty, it was a PN journalist that brought up the whole HV issue.

  15. Amanda Mallia says:

    Daph – I’d recognize the photo of the door knocker anywhere! It must be the one of St Dorothy’s Convent in Mdina, the one that was so badly daubed with paint at the time of the schools’ crisis created by none other than the MLP, that it took several hours’ restoration work by a dedicated parent.

    It’s funny how something so small can trigger off memories. The more I remember, the more I realise how short-sighted some people can be!

  16. Matthew Borg says:

    James Tanti, you have your facts wrong.

    This is Daphne’s private site, it does not classify as mass media. Therefore, she can write whatever she wants in this site, as long as it won’t be published in the local newspapers.

    If her writings here are illegal, then Maltastar.com should be shut down! (well, even if they weren’t illegal, it should still be shut down…)

    [Moderator – I can already see your comment being misconstrued in a Maltastar headline: ‘Nationalists say PN will shut down Maltastar’.]

  17. Paul Spiteri says:

    While on his morning walk, Alfred Sant falls over, has a heart attack and dies

    So his soul arrives in Heaven and he is met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.

    ‘Welcome to Heaven,’ says Saint Peter, ‘Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a Socialist around these parts, so we’re not sure what to do with you.’

    ‘I’d like to just let you in, but I have orders from God Himself. He says that since the implementation of his new HEAVEN CHOICES policy, you have to spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where you’ll live for eternity.’

    ‘But I’ve already made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,’ replies Sant.

    ‘I’m sorry .. But we have our rules,’ Peter interjects. And, with that, St. Peter escorts him to an elevator and he goes down, down, down…all the way to Hell.

    The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a lush golf course. The sun is shining in a cloudless sky. The temperature is a perfect 22C degrees. In the distance is a beautiful club-house. Standing in front of it are thousands of other Socialist ..Everyone laughing, happy, and casually but expensively dressed.

    They run to greet him, to hug him and to reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at the expense of ‘suckers and peasants.’

    They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. The Devil himself comes up to Sant with a frosty drink, ‘Have a tequila and relax, Alf!’

    ‘Uh, I can’t drink anymore, I took a pledge,’ says Sant, dejectedly.

    ‘This is Hell, son. You can drink and eat all you want and not worry and it just gets better from there!’

    Sant takes the drink and finds himself liking the Devil, who he thinks is a really very friendly bloke who tells funny jokes like himself and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like the ones the Labour Party pulled with the European Referendum and Vat promises.
    They are having such a great time that, before he realises it, it’s time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves as Sant steps on the elevator and heads upward.

    When the elevator door reopens, he is in Heaven again and Saint Peter is waiting for him. ‘Now it’s time to visit Heaven,’ the old man says, opening the gate.

    So for 24 hours Sant is made to hang out with a bunch of honest, good-natured people who enjoy each other’s company, talk about things other than money and treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or short-arse joke among them. No fancy country clubs here and, while the food tastes great, it’s not caviar or lobster. And these people are all poor. He doesn’t see anybody he knows and he isn’t even treated like someone special!

    The day done, Saint Peter returns and says, ‘Well, you’ve spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for Eternity.’

    With the ‘Deal or No Deal’ theme playing softly in the background, Sant reflects for a minute … Then answers: ‘Well, I would never have thought I’d say this — I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all –but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends.’

    So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell.

    The doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial wasteland, looking a bit like the eroded, rabbit and fox affected Australian outback, but worse and more desolate.

    He is horrified to see all of his friends, dressed in rags and chained together, picking up the roadside rubbish and putting it into black plastic bags. They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and hands black with grime.

    The Devil comes over to Sant and puts an arm around his shoulder.” I don’t understand,’ stammers a shocked Sant, ‘Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a club-house and we ate lobster and caviar and drank tequila. We lazed around and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and everybody looks miserable!’

    The Devil looks at him, smiles slyly and purrs, ‘Yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us!

  18. Mary Borg says:

    Two wrongs don’t make a right! Mrs. Daphne Caruana Galizia is not just the owner/writer of this site but also carries a journalistic persona due to her articles on the press. Thus all public interventions regarding politics are not to be ensued. The political campaign ended yesterday at midnight and any further partisan articles are to be stopped for today and tomorrow. This is not about control but about respecting our laws, democratic rights and the electorate freedom of choice.

    [Moderator – What can I say, keep your tin-foil hat on while you read this blog and the effect of the mind-controlling device (codename: Opinion) embedded in its pages will be completely negated.]

  19. Mary Borg says:

    Thanks for handing over the hat yet I don’t need it as I have clear principles, objectives and opinions upon which I cast my vote.

    I think I have every right to express my opinion and I did so in my previous post. Both Maltastar and Maltarightnow have political items published on their site’s front page. It is interesting to note though that the articles have been posted yesterday evening by both sides. So in their case, no law has been broken.

  20. Paul Spiteri says:

    Mary Borg

    This so reminds me of the good old Labour days. Is this the Bidu gdid you are talking about?

  21. Matthew Borg says:

    Mary Borg, as a prospective lawyer I think I know what I’m saying. The writings on this site are NOT illegal as they are not being publically published on any of the local media.

    Issa jew se tkompli twebbes rasek, bhalma (ammetta) Dr. Sant fl-Universita, jew se temminni. L-ghazla hija tieghek. Fit-8 ta’ Marzu, taghzilx Labour.

  22. Mary Borg says:

    Dear Paul,

    I never mentioned any Bidu Gdid. In fact I have always voted for PN. However I feel I am a balanced person who can see the difference between right and wrong. There is something I don’t like in many stauch partisan supporters, which unfortunately is very common … as soon as one expresses a different opinion than theirs they automatically assume that the mentioned person is supporting the opposite party.

    I just hope, wish and pray that more Maltese citizens will be less attached to “their” party and/or leader and more focused on the issues being proposed.

    Having said that, I wish you all a good peaceful day! :)

  23. Corinne Vella says:

    Mary Borg:
    I wouldn’t hold up MaltaStar as a paragon of virtue just because they didn’t publish anything after the stroke of midnight on Thursday. They’re within the limits of the law on, but they’re hazy on facts in at least some of their stories so they’re hardly a benchmark of correctness.

    That’s all by the by. Expecting people to keep quiet about their opinions at any time is absurd and unreasonable, particularly in the Internet age. If we were all to shut up because of some decree, then you would not be able to complain publicly about anyone else speaking their mind.

    You say that you are aware of your right to express your opinion and you’ve gone ahead and done so. Good for you. Why do you expect anyone else to deny themselves that right?

  24. Daphne Caruana Galizia says:

    So come on, James Tanti – ask the Paraventu to come and arrest me, then.

  25. Mary Borg says:


    I didn’t contest the content of Maltastar. That is not up to me to judge but to the whole electorate who is intelligent enough to check its veracity or not.

    I agree with you with regards to a right to express once opinion. However I was just pointing out the content of the posts not the posts themselves. A day with less political issues being discussed won’t change our country’s history or future, so why not obey it? Don’t know if you get my drift …

  26. Corinne Vella says:

    Mary Borg
    I get your drift: There’s a law and we should obey it and if we obey it, it won’t change the past or the future.

    You’re saying the law is redundant. That is my feeling too so we’re in agreement after all.

  27. Vanni says:

    @ Mary Borg

    Actually I get your drift. :)

    BTW, something you wrote caught my eye.

    “Mrs. Daphne Caruana Galizia is not just the owner/writer of this site but also carries a journalistic persona due to her articles on the press”

    Pity she hasn’t got a press card……….. :)

  28. Mary Borg says:

    She would inescapably be frowned upon by many. I wouldn’t miss a mud-fight between her and Charlon Gouder for all the riches of the world. :)

  29. Matthew Borg says:

    Charlon Gouder would inexplicably go on a Chicken Run with his good friend Fredu Paraventu Sant. ;)

    He’s a slut. :)

  30. s1 says:

    Emmmm… Maltastar may have respected the date, but the MLP site seems to have joined the not so Vergni Pura gang… this article is dated today


  31. John Schembri says:

    James Tanti thinks that the electoral commissioner should have some control on cyberspace ? What about the comments on YouTube?What about the blogs of Malta Today . Should I not receive a message on my mobile on the DAY OF REFLECTION. Come in James and join the fray , this cannot and will not be controlled , this is not SAUDI ARABIA where if you key in on your computer a forbidden word ,a message appears telling you that the morality authority would not allow you to enter the site , and if you find exception write back to them , giving reasons , so that they reevaluate the site. This is what also happens in Commie China where one tries to key in , for example: Falun Gong, and find the Great Firewall of China censuring him.Mr Tanti , this is not the Mintoff Era, at least here the discussion is civil , “Cetta ta’ Lahlah” will not be influenced and the MLP will have a good scape goat! This is 2008 not 1984.No big brothers please.

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