Beige, taupe and navy blue for Malta's Gay Pride parade

Published: July 17, 2010 at 5:51pm

gay-pride

Today’s Gay Pride demo in Valletta must have been the drabbest in the world.

For a moment there, going on the clothes and general blend-into-the-background dullness, I thought I had come across a consciousness-raising ‘walk for Christ’ organised by the St Aloysius College sixth form and some organisation of do-gooders at the university.

I see people dressed like that and I want to run a mile in the opposite direction. The only message it gives out is, and in capital letters: I AM DULL AND BORING AND POSSIBLY ALSO NARROW-MINDED AND UNIMAGINATIVE.

That Gay Pride parade put me in mind of a school disco in the early 1980s, except that school discos in the early 1980s might have looked more like a Gay Pride parade should do because that was the heyday of Adam Ant, make-up for boys, and flamboyant ruffles and pirate outfits.

But I don’t recall anyone dressing like that. Instead, they dressed ‘up’ for parties exactly as those people dressed ‘up’ for the Gay Pride parade today. The way I remember it, to get people to wear the fashions of the times in 1981 you would have to call your party ‘fancy dress’. And then the boys might have worn a ruffle – making sure that you knew it was ironic – and the girls might have worn a bit of eyeliner.

With people like the participants in today’s parade, I always wonder how they pick their clothes and get dressed in the morning.

“Hmmmm, this beige T-shirt from a pack of three and these dull jeans, and if I’m lucky, nobody will look at me.” Or: “Navy blue shirt and black poly trousers – now I can really blend into the crowd.”

Jewellery? A pair of stud earrings and a fine chain with a tiny charm hanging off it – strictly girls only. The unfortunate purpose served by that rainbow of balloons was to throw into sharp contrast the utter dullness of the people walking behind it in a mass of beige, white, black, dark blue, grey, brown and eau-de-nil.

They looked so very, boringly, ordinary – but then I suppose that was the whole point of the exercise. “Look, I could have been you.”

Sure, feather-boas, Brazilian head-dresses and sequinned thongs rub the average person entirely the wrong way and make out that gay people are just about sex.

But there’s no need to go to the other extreme, with demonstrating lesbians looking like nuns in mufti and the men looking like their mother picked their clothes on the basis of what a nice boy should wear if he’s going to find himself a nice girl.

I suppose it’s par for the course in Malta when even homosexuals have no style at all.