Now we're a land of giants
Grumpy, Sleepy, Dopey, Sneezy and the Haz-Zebbug Robber
Malta Today reports that the police are on the hunt for a ‘five-foot man’ in connection with a string of hold-ups in Haz-Zebbug. What are they going to do next – give Snow White a call to check whether she’s lost one of her team?
The way it’s reported, you’d think that a five-foot man is a rarity in Malta, rather than the norm, give or take an inch or two.
Anyone looking for a five-foot man here is going to have his work cut out. They majtezwel have said that they’re looking for somebody with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes.
Somebody commenting beneath the story seems to think it is astonishing that the police can’t trace this ‘pint-sized’ robber. Errrr, does this person actually understand that most people in Malta are around the five-foot mark? The women only seem to be taller because they’ve got four-inch heels permanently welded to their feet. Take off those heels and Maltese women are like an army of midgets.
Men who claim to be 5’3″ or 5’4″ are generally no more than 5’1″. I would know because I’m only 5’6″ (tall women in Europe begn at 5′ 10″) and yet even in my habitual flat soles I tower above them like some kind of human periscope.
A height of five feet is anything but a distinguishing characteristic in the southern Mediterranean. To get caught easily he would have to be over six feet, have blue eyes or red/blond hair. That’s how Melchior Spiteri, who shot two men dead and is serving life in prison, got caught. The balaclava he wore to conceal his face put the focus on his bright blue eyes.
Please don’t ring the Police HQ every time you spot a five-foot man today. You might end up charged with wasting police time.
Note to Kurt Farrugia and Maltastar: this does not mean a man with five feet.
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“five-foot-man” – a very foolish description. It seems that the police have no other indications to go on.
Speaking of Labour’s grasp of the English language, you really have to hand it to the editor of The Sunday Times for yesterday’s retort under Joe Cuschieri’s letter of cluelessness.
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20110109/letters/he-d-do-it-again
Cuschieri did elicit a comment from the Editor, though.
But then so did Boiler # 7!
I believe there were no power cuts yesterday. So presumably, unlike Joseph Cuschieri, Boiler 7 was not offended.
Aqta kemm icemplu lil pulizija – ma rajtx illi Fabio Psaila, waqt li kien infittex mil-pulizija, habat, gie il-warden, ghamel ir-rapport lill-insurance u thallas tal-hsara, u Alla jbierek, hadd ma indenja ruhu icempel il-pulizija, lanqas il-warden allura?
Ma marx ukoll jipprezenta l-ID card biex issarraf ic-cheque tal-insurance jaqaw?
Halluna.
Il-pulizija spiccat pippo, dawn qedin hemm ghal paga.
Pippo u Troy il-pulizija tippreferi tghid li qalilha xi hadd milli tikxef kif saret taf.
Il-mahrub kien jaf li kienu qed ifittxuh u forsi min kien qed jostru tefghu il-barra ghax jigi fl-ghali. Meta habat ma nafx li qrajt li kien hemm wardens u mhux kullhadd jara l-ahbarijiet.
Is it possible that the insurance agents paid him in three weeks? Which company was it?
Oh, it’s so good to have you back. You managed to give me the first laugh of the day. I hope Kurt Farrugia doesn’t think it’s him, or is he even shorter than 5′?
[Daphne – Kurt Farrugia is around 4′ 8″.]
Unless he was wearing high heels!
Revolting.
*sigh* stop guising fits of inferiority complex as news DCG.
Do you realise that your argument can be diluted to:
1. I’m a tall woman
2. Most men are shorter than me
3. Those who claim they are taller than me, are blatantly lying
4. People (should) look up to me (double meaning intended)
5. Kurt Farrugia is 4ft8″
?
Perhaps you can’t really ‘see’ this… being such a ‘tower’ and a ‘human periscope’, as you say… :)
Can I take the opportunity and use this comment to brag as well!? I’m 6ft4″!! oh no wait.. I must be lying.
[Daphne – Actually, sir, if you were able to read properly you would notice that I made a point of saying that, at 5′ 6″, I’m not tall at all, that I just seem tall because I am TALL FOR MALTA. I certainly don’t think of myself as tall and I don’t stand out in a crowd anywhere else but here. I also hate towering over people which is one reason I am generally to be seen wearing flat shoes. If I were that pleased with myself, I would wear five-inch heels every day like other women do, but I don’t precisely because I don’t like making other people feel uncomfortable and towered over. It was an argument about FACTS: that, 1. I am obviously taller than most people in Malta even in my bare feet, 2. I am 5′ 6″, 3. therefore the average height in Malta cannot possibly be 5′ 6″ as claimed because then I would be average height but I’m quite obviously not unless we are all blind. Average height in Malta is probably more accurately 5′ for women and 5′ 3″ for men, excluding the new generation of young adults, whose phenomenal increase in height distorts the statistics for previous, extant generations. Also, I doubt very much that you are 6’4″. There are very few men that height in Malta, they are instantly noticeable and known, and at least a couple of them are members of my family. The increase in size between a man of 6’2″ and 6’4″ is exponential, just as it is between a woman of 5′ 8″ and 5′ 10″. The proportions of the body change.]
hahaha! I recently saw a stand-up comedy which CONDEMNS the use of the word “hilarious” because it’s overused in situations that do not really call for that word.. but I’ll make an exception, DCG, you are frikken hilarious!! And this is for a number of reasons:
1. Are you qualified to give free (and absolutely inaccurate) sociology classes? (but then again are you qualified to blurt out this stuff on the net?) ;)
2. The NSO statistics themselves prove you wrong.
[Daphne – You sound like a very short man to me. But let’s leave that aside. ‘The NGO statistics themselves prove you wrong’. Do you have even a first university degree? Because one of the things that would have taught you is how to assess information by going to the source of that information. So, when you’re looking at the NSO statistics on height (and weight, incidentally) you have to factor in that this information is volunteered by survey participants, and not obtained by agents of the state lining up people against a wall and forcibly measuring them. People overestimate their height and underestimate their weight. This is normal. To obtain the true average height of the Maltese, everybody would have to be properly measured by independent agents, who would also, for accuracy’s sake, have to divide the generations. People in their teens and 20s are the minority in the population, but they are considerably and noticeably taller than my generation, for example. Quite frankly, I don’t know why you have such a chip on your shoulder about this. You only have to walk outside to see that the Maltese are in the vast majority short people. But then height is relative: when everyone is short, you don’t feel short, so that’s where this idea that the average height of the Maltese is 5’6″ probably stems from. What is ‘hahahaha hilarious’, as you put it, is the ridiculous idea that I’m average height. Isn’t it obvious that I’m not? And if I’m average height, where does that leave the 90% of people in the same crowd who are shorter than I am? Come off it. It’s not like we have a disproportionate number of people over six feet tall to mitigate the number of five-footers and put the average at 5’6″ – or maybe you don’t know how averages are worked out.]
3. Yes, I indeed am 6ft4in or rather – to be absolutely precise.. 194cm.
4. I can’t help but notice that even in your reply you struggled hard to project the following:
a) that you are a de facto expert in sociologal and demographical studies
b) that your height is astoundingly special
c) that other common mortals are nothing but a lesser form of ‘DCG’ hehe :)
[Daphne – Hmmm, chippy indeed. Not just chippy, but prejudiced against me at the outset, which means that it is impssible to have a sensible debate with you. But I’ll try. In English, the meanings of ‘special’ and ‘different to average’ are not interchangeable. I do not think my height is special because that would mean I think it is desirable and that everyone is jealous of it. I don’t. Being taller than average is a burden when you are a woman. If I did not think it was a burden, I would not wear flat shoes. I do not think I am an expert in ‘sociological and democraphical studies’; we are merely having a civilised conversation here, or trying to. But your reaction is evidence of that unpleasant syndrome in some parts of Maltese society which would have people pretend ignorance rather than volunteer an opinion and attract the ‘who does s/he think s/he is’ reaction.
Lady. All you have to do is simply step out of the vicious circle of inferiority that haunts you. It’s not hard. But you love it.
[Daphne – Oh dear, now I know where you’re coming from. The bitching is such a clue. This is the usual ‘insult’ whacked out by my politically motivated opponents: that I have an inferiority complex. They use it because, for some reason that I can’t explain (but probably will be able to if I could be arsed to try) they have an inferiority complex themselves in my regard. Run along and find somebody else of your own IQ (and possibly height, though you’ll be pushed to find another 6′ 4″ person) to play with.]
and there she goes blaming it all on politics! :)
It’s funny how I don’t have any interest whatsoever in staying here all day and arguing about it all. So my replies will be as equally hilarious as yours:
“You sound like a very short man to me” – oh dang it! You got me!
“Do you have even a first university degree” – batt off korz nott!
“or maybe you don’t know how averages are worked out” – avera-what?
“the ridiculous idea that I’m average height” – yes dear.
“Being taller than average is a burden when you are a woman” – I’d love to find women as tall as you DCG, but perhaps even a few inches taller, since i’m 6ft4.. but oh wait. that was a lie. dang it again.
“Run along and find somebody else of your own IQ (and possibly height, though you’ll be pushed to find another 6′ 4″ person) to play with” – It’s true.. why am I even here struggling avec the pseudo-giants and intellectual-snobs.
Silly silly short-ignorant-labourite me.. *sigh*
Disclaimer: I don’t believe myself to be any of those three adjectives :) But if DCG says so. It must be true.
The point still remains DCG, that this was not an article about some robbery or whatever.. this was an article about YOU to show the world that you’re not average height! In popular internet terminology: “LOL!”
p.s. I know you won’t publish this.. but at least you’ll read it ;)
Oh we’re not that short. The average for a man is between 5’5 and 5’7 depending on age.
http://www.nso.gov.mt/statdoc/document_file.aspx?id=573
[Daphne – Average height is based on volunteered information, not by forcibly measuring people. I have yet to meet a man who will admit to being five feet or five feet three, even though the country is full of them. I have even heard men claiming to be 5′ 8″ when I am standing next to them and, at 5′ 6″, obviously taller than them. It’s not only men. Maltese women are REALLY short, but ask any one of them how tall she is and you will always get the same answer: 5′ 4″. That would be just two inches shorter than I am, so then why am I so much taller, even when I am in flat shoes and they are wearing the inevitable four-inch heels? Am I noticeably taller than most people, especially women? Yes, I am. If the average height really were what it is claimed to be, then I would be just average for Malta.]
NSO statistics published in 2003 indicated that the average Malte height in Malta is of 1.7m i.e. circa 5′ 6.5″.
Ah you pesky facts, always getting in the way.
[Daphne – Read my comment elsewhere, in response to R Camilleri, I think. I am 5′ 6″ and I am PATENTLY not average height for Malta. You can pick me out immediately in a crowded room even when I am wearing flip-flops and all the other women are in stilettos. When I wear very high heels (rare occasions), the increase in height is so exponential that people actually stare. I become monstrously taller than everyone else and have to seek out similarly-sized people to stand next to, because everyone else feels intimidated and backs off. The people who volunteer information about their height are patently lying.]
Daphne,
Your argument boils down to the following:
– 1. The statistics compiled by NSO are unreliable in view of the methodology used (‘they are patently lying’)
– 2. My impressions are more reliable than the statistics (‘I am PATENTLY not average’)
– 3. Therefore my argument is correct
This is a textbook case of ‘ipse dixit’ i.e. argument from authority, one of the more common logical fallacies. Essentially you are saying, ‘I am right because I say so’. The fact that in your experience your 5′ 6” height means you tower above others is not relevant – in my experience my 6′ height makes me, at most, slightly taller than my average male acquaintance. Both are subjective experiences based on non-representative samples of the population.
PS I consider the term ‘Pedant’ to be an accolade of the highest order ;)
[Daphne – The flaw in the NSO statistics is an obvious one: that height information is VOLUNTEERED and that short people almost invariably add on a couple of inches when giving their height. It’s the same with weight: people under-represent their weight when asked what it is. People are not likely to exaggerate the number of television sets they have at home, but they are likely to lie about their height and weight if they are not, for some reason, satisfied with it. They might even be lying to themselves. So I would say that the NSO statistics on the average weight of the Maltese are off the mark too. This is not a logical fallacy: it is simple arithmetic (and LOGIC). Follow this argument: 1. The average height of the Maltese is 5′ 6″. 2. Daphne is Maltese and she is 5′ 6″. 3. Therefore Daphne is of average height. So far, so good. But then the VISUAL evidence contradicts this. Put Daphne in a crowded room and she’s not of average height but one of the tallest, including even the men. So obviously, there is something wrong with the volunteered height information because the eye, like the camera, does not lie. Visual evidence is not an ‘impression’, stll less ‘my impression’. What IS an impression, on the other hand, is unreliable statistics garnered from people’s wishful thinking. What I find mysterious is the way even women add on a few inches when giving their height (so many women are 5’4″ and yet reach my shoulders in their heels, jahasra) when there is nothing wrong at all with being a small woman. It is even considered desirable in Malta, where tall women are considered a bit frightening.]
Daphne,
Your argument only indicates, at best, that the crowded rooms which ‘you’ frequent may tend to be full of individuals who tend to be shorter than you are. On the other hand, the crowded rooms which I frequent tend to be full of people who are only slightly shorter than I am, and I am 6′. Maybe I am lying? Maybe you are? Maybe we both are? Maybe we are both telling the truth?
Unless you walk into rooms in accordance with some sort of pre-determined sampling methodology (which for your sake I hope you don’t) then the manner in which you have reached your conclusion is not sound. Note that this does not necessarily imply that the NSO statistics are perfectly accurate, only that the logic of your argument is faulty.
In any case I think this is a fairly simple point of logic and I do not intend to argue over it all day.
Have a nice day :)
[Daphne – That’s good. If you walk into rooms where most people are 6′ (ahem) or thereabouts, then please give me your number. This is something I really have to see. Obviously, the rooms you walk into must contain only men, but even so, we’re onto something here because I have number of single girlfriends who would very much like to know where and when they can spend time in a room full of six-foot men.]
Daphne,
Perhaps they should come along in fireman outfits?
[Daphne – Not if they’re the sort of men I usually see at conferences (rooms full of men….), thank you very much. The effect would be really creepy.]
Are you thinking of the Village People of YMCA fame by any chance?
I beg to differ Daphne – today’s young men and women do tend to be taller than 5 feet than those of say or 30 years ago. There are exceptions of course. I enjoy your commentaries, but you do tend to denigrade the Maltese most of the time. Undoubtedly the Maltese have failings but then do so people of other nationalities.
[Daphne – You’re right about the younger generation, though only the men. The women are as short as ever. But I don’t understand -how is being short a failing? Height is relevant. On an island where most of the men are 5′ 3″ or thereabouts, they don’t feel short until they go to Germany. In fact, you’ve probably noticed that Maltese men are quite full of themselves, and that the vast majority of our politicians are quite titchy, a fact that is noticeable only when they are in European photo-calls. When they are with other Maltese politicians they are the same size and so there is no problem there. Also, where women are concerned it’s being tall that’s considered a failing or a shortcoming. It is certainly a disadvantage, particularly for women who are past the 5′ 8″ mark, when others begin to find them intimidating and the pool of potential mates is severely reduced. The fact is that the Maltese, like most southern Mediterranean people, are short. Facts are facts and denigration has nothing to do with it. Denigration is rooted in opinion, rarely fact. Just as it is an undeniable fact that the dominant hair and eye colour in Malta is dark brown (not black, which is even more uncommon than red or blond, or blue or green) so it is an undeniable fact that the Maltese are predominantly short.]
“I would know because I’m only 5’6″ (tall women in Europe begn at 5′ 10″) and yet even in my habitual flat soles I tower above them like some kind of human periscope”.
So that’s why you never seem to miss anything! ;)
(Sorry …. couldn’t resist it!)
Great to have you back…..
“you’d think that a five-foot man is a rarity in Malta, rather than the norm, give or take an inch or two”
Hahahaha uwejja Daph please tell me you’re exaggerating for effect. I’m 5’9″ and feel average on a good day, and short most of the time, especially around people my age (20s). A five-foot man IS a rarity in Malta.
[Daphne – You’re right about your age group, Drew. Maltese men in their 20s are phenomenally taller than the generation before. Strangely, Maltese women in their 20s are just as short as their mothers. Or perhaps not so strange, given that the fashion now is to stop eating around the age of 12 when you’re a girl, just when you need maximum nutrients for a growth spurt, while boys just keep shovelling it in. No, I am NOT joking. At 5′ 6″ I literally towered above my male contemporaries when I was in my teens and 20s and still do so today, which is why I always wear flat shoes. That’s how the word went round that I’m very tall, when in reality I’m not tall at all, just much taller than my contemporaries.]
I think a five foot man who is physically able to make a hold up and run, is not very common in Malta. He must have a nickname like ‘iz-zghiru’ ,il-fullstop, ix-xiber or Gulija.
I’m six feet tall and when I was young some stupid asshole would call me “Twila”, nowadays people wouldn’t call me that because I’m not tall when compared to others.
[Daphne – Nobody would call you tall, yes, because the new generation has grown taller than the previous one, but at 6′ you would still stand out, even among young men.]
My father who is also tall says that the hunger during the war kept him from growing taller.
[Daphne – He’s right. It’s actually meat that makes the difference, not food in general. And more meat is what makes this generation so much taller. It’s also one of the reasons Americans were so tall compared to Europeans a generation or two back – more meat and better food all round. There’s a lot to be said for the Mediterranean diet, but it definitely doesn’t make you tall. One of the reasons northern Europeans became so much taller than southern Europeans is that their diet was mainly meat-based.]
I have my doubts about meat’s effect on the height of a person, I think it’s more a question of genetics. Tall persons ‘produce tall(er) persons and short persons ‘produce’ less shorter persons (my theory).
I know of a butcher’s son who ate a lot of meat since childhood – he is short and really strong, and I also know of other butchers’ sons who are well built but different from each other in height and frame.
A young workmate of mine ate only packet snacks for lunch at work and even at home, and really small quantities of nourishing food, and he was medium-sized, skinny and his skull was like too big for his body. I suppose it was because of his bad diet.
Once I met a doctor/dietician on a long haul trip and he explained to me at length that diet is not the only thing in the formula for healthy living.
One of his arguments was that Eskimos eat only meat and no vegetables and some Indios tribe in Latin America eat only vegetables and beans; both of them were found to be living healthily, he explained.
Aren’t Eskimos short, and don’t Pygmies eat meat?
[Daphne – Here we go again: survival of the fittest, John. Meat will help you fulfil your genetic potential for height, and over time, the society which eats meat evolves into a taller society than societies which eat mainly vegetables, grains and pulses. BUT if height does not favour survival, then survival will favour short people. In extreme hardship situations like those endured by the Inuit (not Eskimos), small people have a better chance of survival. They need less food, keep warm more easily, and do better in cramped living conditions. Pygmies are also the result of survival-evolution. They wouldn’t have been able to live in wooded conditions if they were the size of the plains-living Masai.]
@ John Schembri – Meat and other high protein food are extremely important to reach maximum height according to your genotype. High protein is the fuel for growth (meat/eggs being some of the most important).
Arguing that like produces like is mistaken. It is true that it is more likely that, for eg, tall men/women produce same but it is NO guarantee, whatsoever.
@ 6’2″ I was taller than most Danish people when I visited the country!
Mhux it-tul kollox! U Alla hares kien hekk milli qed naqra. Mill-helicopter nidhru qisna dud! Jien ta’ 170cms nista nissejjah zghiru jew dudu?
I like it.
John Schembri,
Jien rajt ir-rapport tal-Malta Today rigward il-habta ta’ Fabio Psaila.
Jien ma tkazajtx bil-pulizija imma bil-warden li kif issemma mar fuq il-habta u bin-nies ta l-insurance li ma semghawx bih hi daqxejn dubbjuza ahseb u ara jekk ma marx il-bank biex isarraf il-flus.
I’m 5′ 4″ and was this same height at 12. My nickname was il-giraffa. What does that tell you about the height of men of my generation? I`m 41.
You got your nickname when you were twelve probably.
Welcome back, Daphne. U ahjar ma ktibt xejn fuq it-tul f`Malta. Ghax jien iffissata fit-tul.
Naf li mhux sew imma minn zghira dejjem kont l-itwal fil-klassi, l-itwal fil-klikka, wahda mill-itwal ommijiet, etc etc. U kultant tiddejjaq, ghax, appuntu, l-irgiel, il-maggioranza mhux itwal min 5`8, u in-nisa mhux itwal min 5`4.
Anzi inzid li il-minoranza twila daqshekk. Issa jien m`iniex xi mudella ta…..jien ftit itwal min 5`6. Imma irqieqa bhalek Daph, allura nidhru iktar! Veru qatt ma kont inhobb it-tkaken, imma Allahares le. Ghax meta immur x`imkien fejn kwazi bil-fors trid tilbes it-takkuna, inhossni qisni “irrid nidher”, u m`iniex it-tip, anzi il-kontra.
U drajt minn zghira nimxi ftit inklinata biex minghalijja innaqqas mit-tul, ghad-danni tal-postura kollha. Guvintur fi zmieni, jew it-tul tieghi jew iqsar. U dak li mar Denmark u hasshu twil, ma marx Denmark li mort jien nahseb. Kollha qishom pilastri.
Veru, u naqbel, li it-tul mhux kollox, altru, imma il-fatti ma tistax tmerihom. Hawn Malta, ehe, il-maggioranza tan-nies huma qsar. U ohra ninnota. L-irgiel malli jaghlqu it-tletin sena, bla xaghar, veru kurjuza.
Jew l-ilma jew it-temp, ma nafx.
Inkun qed nara stazzjonijiet Inglizi u Taljani….xi programm politiku jew hekk…..u hekk nghid f`qalbhi. Iktar minn nofshom ikun ghad ghandhom ix-xaghar, anki ta` certu eta`. Ahna, inqas min kwart.
I know a guy whose girl-friend is several inches taller than him. If they make it to the altar she is condemned to a life of flat soles and bad back due to bad posture as she tries to appear several inches shorter than him.
I cannot understand why some think that you are trying to ridicule or belittle the Maltese, your brethren, simply because you said that on average we Maltese are short, especially when compared to those from northern countries.
Nutrition is vital, as you said, for growth and robustness.
Eye colour, hair colour and height, and baldness, are mostly genetic. Most characteristics are of a polygenic nature, i.e. more than 1one gene, height being one of them. Consequently you have a larger number of genotypes producing various shapes and sizes. It is the same with the nose, height, chest circumference, etc. It is because of this that siblings are different and not clones.
Inbreeding means that more homozygous recessive genes come to the fore.
Somebody mentioned the phenomenon of widespread baldness in Maltese men. Again this has all got to do with the genes.
Daphne’s article is based on facts. I can’t see her boasting about being tall or, in any way, criticizing those who are short. Besides, with due respect, aren’t there jokes, worldwide, about the very tall and the very short?
“Somebody mentioned the phenomenon of widespread baldness in Maltese men. Again this has all got to do with the genes.”
In Mexico I couldn’t help noticing that there were no bald people. In China they used to refer to me as the tall bald man.
The Chinese refer to Europeans as BIG NOSE like we call them STRETCHED EYES.
[Daphne – Do we call the Chinese ‘stretched eyes’? I don’t think so. When Prince Philip mentioned something along those lines (slitty eyes?) it made the international headlines, like that Berlusconi describing Obama as tanned.]
Racist white people refer to the Chinese as Chinks, but this is a derogatory racist term.
Ok “slitty” is more appropriate . I made a literal translation for “T’ghajnejhom imgebbda”.
We do not have to go far to see racial differences; the male immigrants in Malta are always thin, never fat, are never bald and do not wear glasses.
Looks as if this discussion is heading in the rikotta/irkotta/arkotta direction.
Hilarious article. Loved it.
In a crowd over here I feel really good but when in Germany in a crowded subway I feel like a school kid again.
Mind you, today’s younger generations are taller than my generation as our generation are much taller than our parents.
Sorry for the late comment! I am still catching up.