Come on, it's time to lie down and weep

Published: September 22, 2010 at 11:40am

Yes, it’s time to lie down at weep at the sight of the Labour elves organising themselves to get to grips with posting comments on the internet in favour of Dom Mintoff and against Dik Is-Sahhara ta’ Wied Ghammieq.

Before coming here to insult me in the name of that addled old bugger, one woman called Helen Cutajar (son and daughter aged 27 and 24, In A Relationship, Interested in Men, profile pic shows her making up to the Labour emblem – not the ice-cream cornet) sought advice on Facebook on how to do it.

Throughout, she refers to this website as ‘ta times’ and so her Facebook friends flock through with helpful hints on how to post comments on timesofmalta.com.

They must be as bright as she is.

Then somebody tells her to try logging onto daphnecaruanagalizia.com instead – but we know that’s what she’s doing already because her problem seems to lie with the website details request, which this site has and timesofmalta.com does not.

And none of those chickens-for-brains can work out that she’s actually on daphnecaruanagalizia.com but calling it ‘ta times’ and that it’s the little box saying ‘website’ which is foxing her.

Ah, but we know that she worked it out eventually, because she sent this in, stupidly faking her name to ‘jasper’ (how did she pick that?) but using her real email address, which took some of my friends (who aren’t chickens-for-brains) straight to her Facebook Wall:

jasper
[email protected]
88.203.78.116
Submitted on 2010/09/21 at 7:38pm
may you rot in hell daphne the witch

Then, once she’d got the hang of it, and still high on the excitement of it all, she sent another one:

jasper
[email protected]
88.203.78.116
Submitted on 2010/09/21 at 8:40pm
tibzax dephne il wich,alla jdejh kbira u lum jew ghada jilhqek lilek.

My God, you have to laugh. Or cry in despair.

These people have a vote.

No wonder they use it to vote Labour.

Success kien ukoll l-edukazzjoni b’xejn ta’ Dom MIntoff (gidba fahxija).

Tal-biki.

And after working out how to post insults on this site, she moves on to……play Frontierville. ‘Helen needs your help to build a chicken coop’.

Yes, she needs somewhere to keep her friends.

From Helen Cutajar’s Facebook Wall:

Helen Cutajar meta jghidulek biex tnizzel il website xi trid tnizzel pls forsi nidhol naaqra go ta times ax ma niflahx ma nghidila xejn lis sahhara

Lorraine Mangion likes this.

Gladys Caruana Mela x’qalet tal bidnija?? Inti tnizzel il website jew tikumenetala trid??

Lorraine Mangion haha kemm tamellllllllllllll lol

Yvette Camilleri Din hija is site tat-times Helen http://www.timesofmalta.com/

Helen Cutajar iva imma biex namel comment qed jghidli amel email ok semm umbad il website dik ma nafx xini

Yvette Camilleri Sa fejn naf jien kif tikteb il comment tghfas Submit

Gladys Caruana Manafx ghallima qed tghid ta ghax jien kemm il darba hallejt comments jekk mhux xi procedura gdida

Helen Cutajar le ta trid tamel l email isem umbad qed jghidli website haqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq irrid nghidila xi haga

Yvette Camilleri Sa fejn naf jien dawn jitolbok
Please enter your name
Please enter your email
Please enter your phone number
Please enter your home town
14 hours ago

Carmen Vella idhol fuq daphne caruana galizie.com

Gladys Caruana ‎@Veru Yvette issoltu ghallinqas dawk jitolbuk u ha nidhol ha nara x’kitbet li ma nghidila xejn

Charmaine Schiavone TRID TINKITEB BIEX TADDI COMMENT SWT

Gladys Caruana Mela gdida din Charmaine??

Charmaine Schiavone al tat times qed najd jien l ewwel trid tkun membru kif qed tajdu intom tikteb id detalji eccetra imat tkun tista taddi l comments li trid

Charmaine Schiavone ma nafx liema estremita waslu biex jejdu li jixtiequh li miet illum mamma mia x biza ta hdura awn go dal pajjiz :(

Yvette Camilleri jien ghadni kemm hallejt comment bla problemi ta xejn ma talabnix website

Gladys Caruana Tistaw plssssssss tghiduli x’jismu it title li nkiteb ghax ma nistax insibu




48 Comments Comment

  1. Hot Tongs says:

    My future is in their hands. I can’t take it. It’s too much.THESE PEOPLE ALMOST KEPT US OUT OF THE EUROPEAN UNION. I’m out of here.

    Ir-renju tal-marmalja.

  2. Galian says:

    Seen further down on her FB wall!!

    Helen Cutajar i think she`s in for another one this fuc… daphne ,u min jafni jaf xqed nghid

    [Daphne – Well, next time my house is set on fire, the police know where to call first. Facebook – it’s opened up a whole new world to the Mintoffjani marmalja, all of whom seem to have about a thousand ‘friends’ and spend their entire life stacking hay on Farmville. Lovely – their parents stacked hay for real and they stack hay on a computer and call it progress. Oh, the irony of the tools of the 21st century being used to aid behaviour and convey sentiments that these people’s grandparents and great-grandparents conveyed with pitchforks, the sacking of private homes and arson on mills a century ago. Then they blamed hunger. So what’s their problem today? Not enough money for broadband?]

    • Galian says:

      And on the same post:

      Helen Cutajar may she rot in hell u wasal iz zmien li nerga niltaqa ftit mahha lis sahhara tal bidnija ha nurija min jien

      [Daphne – Did I ever meet her? I can’t remember. Perhaps she asked me whether I want fries with that at McDonalds once.]

  3. John says:

    Some very quick prodding and you’ll find her son (who’s named Dayton, because it’s a modern progressive name) prefers playing “Car Town” over “Frontier Ville”.

    These people should really learn to use the privacy settings on Facebook. They make it way too easy.

  4. P Zammit says:

    I am weeping……for my children!

  5. red nose says:

    Perhaps these people should visit their dear Mintoff and tell him what a wonderful thing the computer is.

  6. LG says:

    great entertainment during my coffee break – prosit!

  7. LG says:

    ah this Helen tat-times describes herself as “easy to get to know and loving” hahahah

  8. Joseph Micallef says:

    These IT illiterate poor souls are the product of Mintoff’s far sighted progressive policies on, amongst other, IT.

    I would really like to know if someone ever quantified the economic loss Malta suffered because of this.

    [Daphne – No, not really. It’s just a low IQ and poor analytical skills. If that weren’t the case, everybody over 40 would be having problems posting comments on ta times.]

  9. James Farrugia says:

    Had they been able to speak and write English, I would have put a link to her Facebook profile on Failblog. I almost died laughing at that horrible profile, including her inability to handle technology.

    But just like P Zammit, I cried too actually.

  10. George says:

    Ridiculously entertaining …

  11. SDS says:

    Daphne I went into this persons Facebook and found this comment:

    Tax xejn qalata dik ix xeba, hmistax ilu go l airport. Messhet kull m hemm biha.

    [Daphne – Sorry, I can’t help you there. I have no details on any incident in which I was beaten up at the airport. This must be the usual Chinese whispers. Some weeks ago I was followed around the Departures Lounge by an unbalanced woman called Josephine de Maria Casabene, who appeared keen to engage with me. Because I know that she is unbalanced, I tried to ignore her and concentrated on saying goodbye to one of my sons who I would not see again until Christmas. She then waited until I was paying for some newspapers at the Agenda shop – a situation in which I was effectively unable to move away – and began doing her best to attract attention by being very loud, as people of a dubious background and state of mind are wont to do. The boy at the cash register became so confused that he gave me the wrong change, though the mistake was later rectified. I told her to keep quiet because she was disturbing the peace, and that if she did not stop following me around I would call airport security immediately. I did not do so because I felt very sorry for her eldest daughter, still a child, who looked miserably embarrassed at her mother’s behaviour. This woman, by now seriously beside herself, then settled some way away from where we were sitting and busied herself trying to photograph and film us using her mobile phone and her laptop, which she apparently carries around with her on her errands just in case she runs into me. She then contacted marmalja websites to debrief them on her heroic encounter with the WiCh of bAHriJa, making it seem as though she mud-wrestled me and won, when the facts were rather more prosaic: unbalanced woman shouts mad insults at other women calmly saying goodbye to her son at the airport, then stalks her like a psycho until other woman says she will call security.]

    • SDS says:

      Is she the lawyer’s wife who you featured in your post called ‘Oh dear – see what I mean about old people and Facebook?’

      [Daphne – The very same: a key member of the ‘I’ve got a loose screw’ community.]

  12. LOFL… hilarious :)

    Unfortunately, having lived in other countries (read plural), this is not applicable only to Malta, but also to other European and non European countries. The list definitely includes the UK and the US.

    [Daphne – Obviously, because you’ll find an underclass wherever you go and that’s what we’re dealing with here.]

    Unfortunately, I guess the pareto principle applies to us… my interpretation being that 80% of the populace of any country are fully engaged in entertaining the remaining sentient 20% .

  13. Vanni says:

    Daphne
    I am not taking the piss, but have you noticed that lately everybody is sprouting a double surname?

    [Daphne – Yes. But what I’ve really noticed is the white-trash first names.]

    • Rev counter says:

      “But what I’ve really noticed is the white-trash first names.”

      Do you mean names like ByON, DaytON?

      No wonder they are complaining about the electricity bills.

      On the other hand, some intelligent parents choose more efficient names for their children, like YakOFF.

  14. Matt says:

    You’ve got to admire a woman who gets a tattoo on her right breast.

  15. Matt says:

    And something else hilarious on her profile pictures…

    ‘my son and his girlfrien on the baptism of thier beautiful twin a boy danzyl and a girl shazyl .btw that`s me the proud nanna and my ex husband’

    One happy family! It’s pathetic

  16. Bob says:

    Helen even went to ‘Brasils’ – now who did she go up with? Maybe she was in one of those groups that MEPs use their funds to take along on familiarisation visits?

    I am tempted to add her as a friend, but I don’t know what that would say about me.

  17. Rover says:

    I just love the exchange between Helen and friends. Another perfect example of Labour cultural history for the conference.

    • ciccio2010 says:

      Yes. There should be half an hour on “Labour and the Internet: From Mintoff’s opposition to the computer, to the age of Facebook, Farmville and the Hate-groups.”

  18. Herman says:

    …..alla jdejh kbira (Helen Cutajar) – wrong

    Alla idejh kbar
    or Alla idu kbira

    But that’s assuming he has hands, and I don’t think so.

  19. Lino Cert says:

    I think she’s the same one from Bormla who got all her appliances burnt out (four ghar-conditions, tower tat-tifel, tas-satelliter, dekoder, frigg, telefon, u microwejf)

  20. Geraldine Attard says:

    And if you haven’t wept enough go to Dom Mintoff’s Facebook page and read some of the comments there.

  21. Reborn says:

    From Helen Cutajar FB

    Political: partit laburista bissssssx
    Bio: EASY TO GET TO KNOW AND LOVING

  22. TROY says:

    Hemm biss hsiebhom dawn tal-Labou:, swat, daqqiet, tkaxkir ma l-art.

    Meshet l-art biha gewwa l-airport: mela din Helen cleaner gewwa id-departure lounge?

  23. Helen Bred A Common Thief says:

    gONziPN has reduced Helen’s boy to stealing to provide for his twins Danzyl and Shazyl. Mhux li jerga jitla l-Labour, jahasra, ha nibdew insibu l-flus fit-triq.

    The Malta Independent, 5 July

    Four admit stealing €11,000 in meat products

    Four men were conditionally discharged for three years after they admitted yesterday to stealing €11,000 worth of meat products from a shop in Braille Street, Sta Venera.

    The four – Renjos George Farrugia, 24 from Marsaxlokk; Shaun Dominic Mallia, 29 from Marsascala; Silvan Mangion, 28 from Qormi and DAYTON JO CUTAJAR, 24, FROM STA LUCIJA, paid for the products they had stolen. The court conditionally discharged them as they had no previous criminal record.

    A probation officer was also asked to draw up a report on each of them.

  24. E Farrugia says:

    What a pathetic ‘conversation’ on Facebook! Min jghid l-izjed hmerijiet!

  25. Leonard says:

    I know this one’s old, but Ms. Aqtavazett’s exchange with her buddies has brought it back.

    This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say, the helpdesk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for “Unfair Dismissal”.

    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:
    “Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?”
    “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”
    “What sort of trouble?”
    “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
    “Went away?”
    “They disappeared.”
    “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
    “Nothing.”
    “Nothing?”
    “It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
    “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”
    “How do I tell?”
    “Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?”
    “What’s a sea-prompt?”
    “Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?”
    “There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
    “Does your monitor have a power indicator?”
    “What’s a monitor?”
    “It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
    “I don’t know.”
    “Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”
    “Yes, I think so.”
    “Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”
    “…….Yes, it is.”
    “When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”
    “No.”
    “Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
    “……. Okay, here it is.”
    “Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
    “I can’t reach.”
    “Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”
    “No.”
    “Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”
    “Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle – it’s because it’s dark.”
    “Dark?”
    “Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
    “Well, turn on the office light then.”
    “I can’t.”
    “No? Why not?”
    “Because there’s a power cut.”
    “A power… A power cut? Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”
    “Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
    “Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
    “Really? Is it that bad?”
    “Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
    “Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”
    “Tell them you’re too fucking stupid to own a computer.”

  26. Hibernating from Malta says:

    The best thing, though, is the woman’s profile picture on Facebook. Addio privacy settings. (I bet she doesn’t even know what they are considering that she asks ‘kif tnizzel il-website’, as she didn’t understand that writing your website is optional (‘Not required’)).

    It looks like she loves the MLP (sorry… issa PL) so much, that she is trying to suck it. Just look and laugh.

  27. Mark Said says:

    Dawn in-nies injoranti ta’ vera. Imma probabbli taf ukoll illi ma tistax tiggeneralizza. Jien Laborist u ghall-kuntrarju ta’ hafna nies ma noboghdokx.

    • Min Weber says:

      The “LabOrist” betrays you’re one of the few Labourites (possibly from the south) with a good educational background. (Another clue = noboghdokx, perfectly spelled.)

      I am intrigued by the fact that you are a Labourite. Family pressure?

      • I'm uh Mitchell says:

        Thanks, Min Weber. You’ve just solved the mystery of the year for me.

        After spending a week laughing my head off at the Dear Leader et al, it broke my heart to out an utterly fantastic young man (from the South) as a Laburist. I stumbled upon his Facebook page and there he was, wearing a damned Burberry check tie!

        I thought, “How CAN this happen to HIM? So well-educated and well-connected (even gay and out) etc. He cannot be of the same ilk as Sharon, can he?”

        Totally incredulous, I checked his twitter page and – gosh – he follows Joseph Muscat! And Kurt Farrugia! And I had thought that tie was a major tragedy.

        Your “family pressure?” has reminded me that his father did run for some election on the Labour side a few years ago. I suppose that’s where he got the chav strain from. All so clear now, thank you.

  28. pippo says:

    U mal lejber jaqbillek zgur.

  29. J Abela says:

    Thank God I don’t have any Facebook friends in common with this women.

  30. J Abela says:

    This is what Helen wrote on Mintoff’s Facebook page:

    ‘il mulej izomm idejh fuqek ja kbir salvatur taghna l maltin’

    Gladys Caruana (Tarxien) and Charmaine Mufc Schiavone (Hal Qormi) liked it.

    Another of her comments:

    Helen Cutajar; xita xita ghamel halli hel tihu pjacir il pjacir natih lil pawlu u pawlu jtini ……………

    Paul R Vella; ‎..IL-HALIB.???? :)))

    Helen Cutajar; tghid paul ? lolllllll

    Jeanclaude Agius; il pipijit

    Jeanclaude Agius; lollll

    Christopher Camilleri; iiiiiiiiiii ;D

    Berthille Mer Curmi; uahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ajma kif toqotolni uahahahahaa kemm taf tqabel :)))

    Mark Vella; iiiiiiiiiiiiiii naughty milf :))))))))))))))))

    Helen Cutajar; ok hsibta ,,,,u pawlu jtini linkwiet ha ha ha ha

    Jenesia Galea; ha ha tajba di hel xi pijacir huwa ima ee
    ?????

    Can you believe these people?

    [Daphne – Yes, I can. Sexual banter in language straight out of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, on an internet page set up to pay tribute to their dying hero and saviour: the instincts of beasts in the field.]

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